Our Little Peanut

2012-02-11T19:52:00.000-08:00

Must Read: the HILARIOUS Jason Good 365

A friend of mine posted the link to Jason's blog on Facebook. I started reading this post before bed last night and couldn't finish it because I was laughing so hysterically that I was having trouble breathing. With what I'd already read still ringing inside my head and making me laugh, I had to turn off my phone for a moment to pull myself together again.

Go read him. I know you'll laugh too. Oh, and you're welcome.

2012-02-10T16:44:00.000-08:00

Our Sweet Little Boy

*Before we begin, you need to know that the little girl Claire in this story is the newest member at Kai's daycare. She just turned 18 months old not long ago, which makes her the youngest among all the toddlers.

On the way home from daycare in the car

"Mommy, Claire was sad."
"Aw~~ How do you know Claire was sad?"
"Um... Claire was crying... Kaikai had oranges, pears, and water like this (pretending to eat)!"
"What happened?" (In hindsight, I should've specified my question. I meant to ask why Claire was crying)
"Kaikai shared his pear with Claire, but Claire not want pear... and orange and water."
"That was very nice of you, Kai. Did Claire feel better?"
"No. Claire no want pear, orange, and water, Mommy."
"I'm sure she appreciated that you tried to make her feel better. What you did was very kind and friendly, Kai. Mommy's proud of you."
"Yeah.... (looking out the window)... Claire's wittle... Kaikai no want Claire crying...."

I had to blink the tears out of my eyes quickly so I could see where I'm driving. What a sweet little guy!

2012-02-08T21:48:00.000-08:00

Who's Coming

At the dining table, Kai asked his dad, "Daddy, who's coming?"
Daddy asked, "Who?"
Kai, "A helicopter."
Then he started making the helicopter sound "tatatatatatatatatatata" and slowly brought his right foot up from under the table.
His foot was the helicopter! Ha!
Then his dad said, "That's not a helicopter. That's your foot!"
The toddler replied all matter-of-factly, "It's a helicopter foot!"

2012-02-06T17:20:00.000-08:00

This Just In

On the way home from school:

"Mommy, Dawson little sister name's Eden. Where's Dawson and Eden?"
"They are going home with their daddy. They're in the car in front of us."
"Dawson has sister name Eden."
"That's right!"
"Mommy.... Um... What Kaikai little sister name is?"

Kai wanted to bring a Tin Tin Adventure Book on India home from school today. After we got home, I asked, "Kai, did you read about India at school today?"
"Uh.... Yeah."
"Who went to India?"
"Cheryl (a teacher)."
"Oh wow! Did Cheryl have a good time there?"
Kai's voice got all dramatic and he looked me in the eyes, "Trouble with monkeys."
"What? She traveled with monkeys or she had trouble with monkeys?"
(still in the dramatic voice) "TROUBLE with monkeys, mommy..... Just like Tow Truck Trouble."

Writing Kai

2012-02-06T04:10:00.000-08:00

Bill was downstairs in a meeting. I was cleaning in the kitchen. Kai went to my desk, climbed up on my chair, got a pen from the pen holder and brought it to my mom the living room. He told her he wanted to color and found the nearest paper he could find -- the new Chinese book my mom brought him from Taiwan.

He turned to the first page and started moving the pen on the page while saying, "This says Kai..." When he realized he'd "drawn" the vertical line in the letter K on the page, he stopped and looked at my mom for approval. My mom asked in Chinese, "Are you trying to write Kai? Go ahead! Show wai puo (maternal grandmother in Chinese)." This time with greater confidence, Kai put another vertical line down and proceeded finishing the remaining two strokes. Then he passed the pen to my mom and said, "Wai puo do it," he instructed her. "This one says (he said his name slowly) Ka...i..." My mom then wrote the a and the i to help him complete his name.

Afterwards, he put the pen back in the pen holder on my desk and the book on my chair. Before we went to bed, I asked, "Kai, what's that on mommy's chair?" He answered, "That's Kai's new book." Did he write his name in the book to claim it?!?!

Our 29-month-old WROTE a K!! I'll put the picture up later. Gotta go back to sleep first. After all, it's 4:10 in the morning!!

Here it is! Kai's first K:

2012-02-04T13:47:00.002-08:00

A Quick Note

Kai's growing up way too fast and producing more funny things every single day. I'm afraid if I don't write them down right away, I'm gonna forget them. And with this pregnancy brain... it's very likely that I will forget

Kai loves singing. He sings "Jingle Bells" when he's happy, rock 'n roll style. He'll start with the normal Jingle Bells but quickly makes it faster and faster until eventually it ends with a rocker "Ahhh~~~~". He also likes to make up lyrics based on what he's doing at the moment. Therefore, it's quite common to hear something like this:

"Ol' McDonald had a farm. Yee-i-yee-i-o!
On the farm he had a McQueen. Yee-i-yee-i-o!
With the "vroom vroom" here and "vroom vroom" there.
Ol' McDonald had a farm. Yee-i-yee-i-o! "

"Zoom zoom zoom
we're going to the moon
Take a rocket ship
Zoom zoom zoom

Vroom vroom vroom
McQueen's going to the moon
Take a rocket ship
Vroom vroom vroom"

Just like the stories he makes up, I love these personalized songs that he sings. I just have to do a better job remembering to write them down right after I hear them.

Okay, here's something that happened just this morning.
I made some Chinese green onion pancakes and some scrambled eggs this morning for me and Kai. While we were eating, Kai saw that I was dipping my eggs into a pool of chili sauce on my plate. He said, "Mommy, Kaikai wants some of that."
I replied, "Mmm... no. This is very spicy. Maybe when you're bigger you can try it, but now right now."
Kai thought about it for a minute. Then he presented his argument. He said it so quickly and eloquently I was (proud and) speechless:
"Kaikai's big. Kaikai has a baby sister, so Kaikai's big. Kaikai wants to have some of that (pointing at the chili sauce), Mommy!"
I HAD TO let him try it after such compelling argument, so I took a piece of the green onion pancake from his plate and dipped a corner of it in the chili sauce. Before I gave it to him, I warned him again, "It's spicy. Here's your soy milk... just in case."
The victorious toddler snatched the pancake out of my hand, shoved the sauced corner into his mouth and said, "See?" (like, "See? I can handle the heat.") Then almost immediately he took a sip from his cup and concluded (concurred), "It's spicy!"

If He Weren't My Son, I'd Have to See it to Believe it

2012-02-03T17:10:00.000-08:00

There are times when Kai does something that make me wonder, "Should he be doing this now? Are all 2-year-olds like this?" Sometimes I tell my mom what Kai did, and her reply is often a surprised, "Really?" Granted, my mom only has one kid and it's been a while since she's around any 2-year-olds. Plus, she absolutely adores her grandson, so Kai could be behaving like a little turd and my mom's heart would melt.

Below are a few examples of the kind of things Kai does that just blow my mind.

1
A few nights ago, we were all sitting on the couch watching a hockey game. Kai suddenly grabbed my new "101 Slow Cooker Recipes" cook book from the coffee table and announced, "Kaikai read it!"
He randomly flipped to a page that was all text,
"Where's Owl (from Winnie-the-Pooh 'cause y'know, Owl's the one that can read and write)?"
The beauty of a 2-year-old imagination. Kai found Owl somewhere between the turkey barley soup and chicken kale soup.
The 2-year-old continued, "Owl finding Winnie the Pooh now. Owl want..." He flipped to a page with pictures, "... some food!"
He stared at the picture of a yummy-looking soup for a while. Then he climbed up next to me, "Mommy," he cupped my face with one hand and turned it away from the game and toward him, "Owl want have lunch with Winnie the Pooh... They are having lunch together."
Ah~~~ Have I told you how much I love the fact that Kai loves books?

2
I was in the bathroom getting ready to head out for Kai's flu shot appointment. When I came out, Bill asked Kai to show me what Eeyore does. Apparently Kai's mind had already moved on to something else, so Bill reported what had happened 5 minutes ago:
Kai was playing with his cars. He was showing his dad, "This is Francesco. This is Lightning." All of a sudden, the 2-year-old dropped to his knees and slowly lowering his head on the guest bed in a sad voice, "And not anybody cares..." Then he popped up and revealed cheerfully to his father, "That's Eeyore!"

3
Kai loves "Cars" (1 and 2). He knows all the characters, the plot line, and the stories in every additional book we bought him. "Daddy/Mommy, wanna play cars with Kaikai?" is a question we hear numerous times throughout the day. I often use the opportunity to ask Kai questions. For instance, after I asked "who's McQueen's best friend", I'd ask "who's Kai's best friend" just to try to get to know what's going on in his life a bit more.
(As a side note, Kai's answer to that question a few days ago was "Ugh... Books!" I was both proud and worried. Only 2, my son's already a nerd!)
Okay, what was I writing about anyway?! Yeah, so the other day while we were playing cars, I asked, "Hey Kai, where's McQueen from?" I actually don't know the answer, but I wanted to see how Kai'd handle it. The 2-year-old thought about it for a moment. Hesitantly he answered, "Radiator Springs..." That was good. He understood the answer must be a place, and Cars 1 took place in Radiator Springs. McQueen must be from Radiator Springs!
Then I pushed, "Where's Francesco from?" Kai picked up his Francesco car and said, "Here's Francesco!" I smiled, "Hi, Francesco! You know McQueen's from Radiator Springs. Where are you from?" Kai took McQueen and Francesco on a race for a couple of laps. The race ended right where I was sitting. Kai lifted up Francesco to my nose and said, "This is Francesco... from Italy!"
Nothing escapes this kid. I'm telling ya! What's even more amazing was that, later that day, out of the blue, Kai said to me, "Aunt Viwian's in Hong Kong." (Vivian is my youngest cousin who lives in HK)
I joked, "What do you know about Hong Kong?"
Kai sounded almost offended, "Aunt Viwian's from Hong Kong!!"
Lesson learned: never underestimate how much this 2-year-old actually understands/knows.

2012-02-02T10:06:00.000-08:00

Mother (v) Defined

My mind has been filled with all kinds of thoughts as we roll into February. Currently on the To-Do list are:

make and freeze food
get an infant car seat
get a glider chair
pack the hospital bag
set up the co-sleeper
wash and organize Baby Girl Martin's stuff
wash the Baby Bjorn that Kai chewed on
clean the play pan downstairs and organize the shelves around it
organize Kai's library
sterilize breast pump
get new bottles

Other than this list of practical things we have to do, I've also been thinking about what this pregnancy, this C-section, and this baby mean to me and to our family.

I can't help but think about Dr. Liu. Our lives might be completely different if it weren't for him. During my second trimester, I thought about going back to Taiwan to have this baby several times. I miss the trust, familiarity, and comfort I had with my doctor and the whole maternity ward at Tri-Service Hospital. My current obstetrician, Dr. Sanders, has a very similar demeanor with Dr. Liu (that's why we chose him). He's very nice and I'm sure he's very capable. However, to Dr. Sanders, all what I've gone through is merely a part of my medical history. Unlike with Dr. Liu, it's a part of our personal history. To Dr. Sanders, this is just another baby, but she's more than "just another baby."

I know it's silly to dwell over the past. I guess I am sentimental by nature, and the pregnancy hormones just makes it worse.

Another thing that has been lingering in the back of my head is the fact that this is my very last pregnancy. After consulting with Dr. Ehlan at BC Cancer Agency, we decided to have a salpingectomy after the C-section. We're keeping my left ovary because of the findings of the most current research on ovarian cancer. Oh, and another minor consideration is that we don't think postpartum is a good time to also be menopausal (can you imagine?! *shivers*)

While it seems like the logical thing to do, Bill and I didn't come to this decision without talking about how and what we feel about not being able to have another child of our own first. It turned out we're both fine with two kids. In fact, we've been jokingly asking each other why in the world did we decide to have a second one when just dealing with one child is already a lot of work. I was worried about how Bill might feel about my inability to have more children because he once told me he wanted three children. I wanted to make sure he's really okay with 2, that he's not gonna change his mind one day and suddenly tell me that he wants another kid of our own. We agreed if we ever want to have another kid later on and we can afford it, we'll adopt because there are kids in this world that need a loving family.

So then I started examining how I truly feel about not ever being able to get pregnant again and, as I dug deeper, I realized the only reason I'm seriously thinking about this is because I've heard other women talked how they longed for another baby or how they simply missed being pregnant. Will I long to have another baby or miss being pregnant? Perhaps. But will this irrational, entirely emotional longing make me regret having my tube removed so we might be able to prevent ovarian cancer from recurring? Not a chance!

I've always wanted only 2 kids, and I'm blessed with two wonderful miracle babies. I have no regrets. A part of what I consider as being a woman and a wife has been fulfilled. From now on, I can focus on being a MOTHER, no longer narrowly defined in the child-rearing sense, and help my miracle children to be all that they can and want to be.

2012-01-31T11:15:00.000-08:00

What Baby Girl Martin Might Look Like

We'll find out in less than a month! :)

2012-01-29T22:58:00.000-08:00

Return of the Phantom Ovary

Time: 2:30pm - 6:30pm
Date: Saturday, January 28th, 2012.
Location: Claire's lair, East 44th Avenue, Vancouver
Participants: Kate the preggo, Lisa the best friend, Claire the hostess, JoAnn the master organizer, Elise the closet Brit, Patricia the brain, Ashley the sly cooper, and Kim the game hater

It all started innocent enough. An afternoon tea baby shower where a few ladies get together, sip tea, chitchat, and have fun. After all, most people were bringing the offspring, so it would have to be PG, right?!

Wrong!

The baby shower turned out to be the most fun and cut-throat (yes, you heard right) baby shower I've ever been to, and I'm so glad it was my own! These amazing women sure know how to throw a PARTY and have a good time, sans alcohol, mind you (remember the offspring?!)

From the moment we arrived, everyone was presented with a necklace made of yarn and 8 safety pins. It was a game where if you say the forbidden word, you have to give one of your safety pins to the person who calls you out. But keep in mind we're language nerds. Having only one forbidden word was obviously not challenging enough for us. We first decided that Baby Girl was the forbidden noun; later modified it to be Baby or Girl to add to the challenge. At first, everyone was cautiously paying attention to what they were saying, but oh how quickly we forgot, especially when you had different things to talk about and games to play while you were being watched. Ashley the sly cooper was on top of it all the entire time. I don't know how she did it, but her bat ears and ability to trick people into using those words were... at the end... almost admirable.

Patricia the brain brought a poster that she drew during break time at work (after kicking her students out of the room) called "Pin the Sperm on the Egg". Okay, I have to back up a bit because merely saying that she drew it doesn't do her (and the effort and thought she put into this) justice. First, she found a picture of the female reproduction system that she was going to use for this poster (using a computer at work). After printing it out, she took it to IMS (Instructional Media Service) and made a transparency. She then carried the picture and transparency to class, taught the first 90 minutes with them right on her desk, and made up an excuse and kick her students out of the classroom as soon as they went on the break. She then projected the image on the screen, put a poster paper over it and traced the outline of the female reproduction system. When she brought it home, she colored it and cut out individual blue cardboard sperms. When Kelvin, Patricia husband, walked by one of their kids' rooms and saw his wife bending over on the floor carefully coloring the egg in the picture, he shook his head and commented, "You're having way too much fun doing it."

Surprisingly (because I'm the one who got pregnant most recently), I was the one that sucked the most in this game. While all the other ladies at least got their sperms inside the uterus, I pinned mine dead-on on the right ovary TWICE, and both times on the exact same spot! It's the ovary that I no longer have! We all agreed that there was no other reasonable explanations but to think it was (echo effect) the Return of the Phantom Ovary!

The kids had a great laugh during this game as well. They were the little helpers who had to walk their blindfolded moms to the wall after spinning their moms around. They were trying very hard to suppress the urge to provide verbal hints on the egg's whereabouts in proximity to the sperm in mommy's hands. These are kids between the ages of 3 and 8. Every once in a while, one would blur out "Not there, mommy! Move your sperm to the right!" or, my personal favorite, "Urgh, this sperm is so dumb!"

The last game was Pictionary. I have to say, I've never participated in a game of Pictionary where there was this much trash talk. The words were all birth-related, so they could be difficult to illustrate (like, "contraction" or "foremilk"). Other than letters, there cannot be numbers or symbols (such as arrows pointing up or down). The game was fast-paced, intense, hilarious, and ridiculously fun! I've always known how talented and competitive these women are. Last night, however, we took our competitiveness to a whole new level. I also respect/slightly fear these women a little more now.

I came home totally high on adrenaline. I felt loved and blessed to have a group of ladies who knew exactly how to shower me. I'm very lucky to have them as friends.

2012-01-25T22:49:00.000-08:00

Kaikai's First Lie

There's an app called "Sleep Pillow" by which users can choose from a variety of white noises to help with sleep problems. We've been using it to put Kai to sleep for a few weeks, and it seems to work quite effectively.

Usually Kai loves the sound of the rain, and this is what Bill put on for him tonight.

20 minutes after Bill thought Kai had fallen asleep and left his room, I heard over the baby monitor the jingle of one of the kids' education apps and Kai's little giggles. "That sneaky kid," I chuckled as I headed upstairs. When I opened his bedroom door and caught him playing the game in the dark, out of his bed, I said, "What are you doing, Kai? Are you playing a game?"

The 2-year-old put the device back where he found it, walked up to me and replied calmly, "Kaikai want wave sound. Not rain sound."

I had to try hard not to laugh. I kind of felt a faint sense of pride (I've read somewhere that lying is a sign of intelligence as well), but the sophistication of this lie also terrifies me. At 2 years-4 months-and 14 days-old, he did not panic when he was caught red-handed doing something that (I think) he knew he shouldn't be doing. Instead, he justified it.

Maybe, in his head, he wasn't lying. Maybe his initial intention was to change the kind of white noise we chose for him but he accidentally pressed on the kids' app icon instead. Maybe, just maybe, Kai's cognitive development has just reached another level as suggested in this article.

It took another half an hour to finally get him to fall asleep. The whole time I was up there with him in the dark, my mind was spinning. Kai's a smart kid. There's no doubt about it. While we celebrate his creativity, imagination, and various skills, we also have to start thinking and talking about how we're going handle the inevitable -- the dark side of a human being.

I know I'm gonna be doing some reading tonight before bed. For now, though, I think I'm gonna enjoy Kai's first (attempt to) lie a little while longer. You have to admit, it was pretty good.

What the Year of the Dragon Means to us

2012-01-22T23:20:00.000-08:00

Dragon, the one and only symbol of the emperor in four thousand years of Chinese history and the only mystical animal in the 12 symbols of the years, is the ultimate representation of prosperity, power, fame, and fortune. Because of its combination with the Five Elements (metal, wood, water, fire, and earth), this Year of the Water Dragon is considered an especially good year to be born in. It is also a year that will bring good opportunities and fortune for people who were born in other animal years.

I saw this on a Chinese news site and paid attention to what this year means to Bill, me, and Kai.

Rats (Bill & me)
The Year of the Dragon is a year for rats to evaluate, reorganize and set new goals. It's generally a very good year for rats. Rat people should work on maintaining and expanding social networks by communicating with others because it will help them gain more career opportunities and fortune. Career wise, rats should be on the lookout for better opportunities, but it's crucial not to rush into things.
Lucky colors: silver, aqua, and lavender
Lucky numbers: 6, 1, 9, 7 and their combinations
Lucky talisman: monkey, especially in white; material: silver, gold, or white crystal
*This is not a good year for rats to get married (good thing we already did).

Ox (Kai)
The Year of the Dragon is a great year for the ox in almost all aspects; however, oxen should slow down and take better care of their health.
Lucky colors: burgundy, purple, and cream
Lucky numbers: 9, 3, 1, 6 and their combinations
Lucky talisman: small dragon or snake
*This is not a good year for oxen to change jobs.

Negotiation Specialist

2012-01-22T01:20:00.000-08:00

One thing Bill and I have noticed recently is how difficult it is to get Kai to agree. As a 2-year-old and like most of his peers, Kai has discovered the joy of decision-making. He wants to pick out what he's wearing that day: which shirts, shoes or boots, McQueen hat or doggie hat and, on certain days, which pair of sunglasses. As his parents, whenever there's conflict, we negotiate a feasible outcome so Kai (can feel like he) has a say in the matter. For example, when we pick him up at the daycare and he doesn't want to go home, we often say, "Okay. You can read this book one time/for 5 minutes. Then we have to go home." i'll let you do what you want to do for a bit. Then you have to do what I want you to do. Fair and win-win, right?

It only works when you don't mind waiting.

In the mornings when all you want is to get him to daycare so you can make your 10 o'clock meeting, having to deal with a negotiation specialist can make you want to pull your hair out and scream out the door.
For instance,
"Come here so I can change your diaper, Kai."
"No! Kaikai read 'A New Adventure' one minute."
Imagine a conversation similar to this one about e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g: having breakfast, brushing teeth, getting dressed, putting on the jacket, putting on shoes, putting on a hat, taking the lunch bag, getting out the door, walking down the stairs, walking across the lawn, getting in the car. By the time you finally strap him in his car seat, you're ready for a nap.

The other day, the 2-year-old surprised us yet again. Out of the blue, he said to his father, "Let's make a deal." Then he grabbed Bill's right hand and shook it. I laughed as Bill (pretended to frantically) asked, "What was the deal? What did I just agree to?"

Ah~~ the fun never ends...

2012-01-19T09:16:00.001-08:00

Two Rats, an Ox, and a Dragon

Guess who's gonna rule this house?!

The Dragon is one of the most powerful and lucky Signs of the Chinese Zodiac. Its warm heart makes the Dragon's brash, fiery energy far more palatable. This is a giving, intelligent and tenacious Sign that knows exactly what it wants and is determined to get it. Dragons possess a certain natural, charming charisma that ensures they can always influence their peers and often find themselves the center of attention in social situations. This Sign is truly blessed, too; Dragons are considered to be very lucky in love! The Dragon's friends are always keen to hear what this firebrand has to say and when it comes to dispensing advice, the Dragon has the floor.

Its ego can get in the Dragon's way, but even so, this larger-than-life creature has a knack for initiating projects and keeping the troops motivated. According to Dragons, it's their natural born right to lead the way -- because who else could do it so surely and so well? As lucky as they are, Dragons have a good chance of achieving considerable material wealth during their lifetimes, although it isn't mere money that's this Sign's main motivation. Power is what the Dragon wants and truly believes it deserves. Dragons are quite the opportunists, forever searching for ways in which to consolidate their considerable power. Contrary to all this strength and fire, a weakened Dragon is a sad sack, a creature that refuses to take defeat with even a modicum of grace.

The role of leader is the only one the Dragon wants, the better from which to give orders and be king of the hill. They make solid leaders, too, knowing instinctively what needs to be done to stay on top. Crossing the Dragon is never a good idea -- this beast can singe! A valuable life lesson for this clever creature would be to absorb the principles of flexibility, compassion and tolerance. Being high and mighty can serve to inspire others, but it also keeps Dragons from living their lives to the fullest. If Dragons can learn to balance their quest for success with an appreciation for the little things, their life will be more than worthwhile. (from babiesonline)

Water has a calming effect on the Dragon's fearless temperament. Water allows the Dragon to redirect its enthusiasm and makes him more perceptive of others. These Dragons are better equipped to take a step back to reevaluate a situation because they understand the art of patience and do not desire the spotlight like other Dragons. Therefore, they make smart decisions and are able to see eye-to-eye with other people. However, their actions can go wrong if they do not research or if they do not finish one project before starting another.

Like their adult counterparts, children born in the Year of the Dragon have vivid personalities and are independent from birth. Noisy and active, parents should stimulate their imaginations as soon as possible. Their imagination and inquisitive natures can be troublesome for the Dragon child and can often land them in a heap of trouble at school which can cause teachers and other parents to deem them troublemakers or naughty. Sometimes Dragon children are loners who daydream and drift into their own world of make-believe. Either way, Dragon children demand careful attention and special handling in order to bring out the best in them. Their creativity and talents must be encouraged, even if it means spending extra time in certain school subjects in order to help them master the subject. (from usbridalguide)

2012-01-17T11:15:00.000-08:00

34 Weeks

Yup! It's amazing how fast time passes especially when you're pregnant while working full-time and chasing after a toddler.

I've officially entered the uncomfortable stage of pregnancy: my hips, my back, and my feet are constantly sore or in pain. My wobble turns into swagger as the day progresses. This baby sits so high up that I'm pretty sure my stomach is squished into my significantly smaller chest cavity. I can't sleep on my left side (as doctors recommend) because baby girl seems to enjoy putting an elbow or a knee right up against my heart. But when I sleep on my right for long, my right hip and thigh get numb (yay) and curiously my left leg often cramps.

To make matters worse, I've got this violent cough that keeps me in pain during the day and awake at night. I've been coughing so much and so hard for the past few days that my entire body feels as if I've just completed the Iron Man: rubbery knees and muscle pain everywhere! This is also probably the only time I dread being a teacher. I can't finish a sentence without coughing my lungs out while watching my students' faces turn into horror and/or disgust. And, in the year 2012, I'm teaching in an tech-enhanced classroom with a traditional blackboard. Even though I've personally been avoiding using the board, the entire room is covered with white and yellow dust -- a great way to irritate my already-weakened respiratory system.

I can't imagine what the baby hears or feels when I get into a coughing fit. Whatever it is, though, I'm sure she doesn't appreciate it. Otherwise, she wouldn't be kicking like crazy just when I thought I'd finally be able to fall back asleep after a coughing fit in the middle of the night.

I'm seeing my ob tomorrow morning to see if there's anything I can do to keep this cough under control. After all, Baby girl is not due until the end of February. I still want to enjoy what I have left of this pregnancy and my job.

The Mother I Am

2012-01-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

I'm very stressed out about raising a girl here, in North America, because I didn't grow up here as a young girl. The young girls I've seen or come to know seem more complicated and have to deal with more shit in life from the get-go than how it was for me when I was their age in Taiwan. For instance, preschool-aged girls are already asking to get makeup, piercing, and jewelry. Why even let them try it? I mean, when little girls ask to put on makeup or jewelry for whatever reason, why not explain to them that cosmetic products are made to conceal imperfections and jewelry is used to enhance looks (in other words, when the look itself is not good enough). Little girls don't need makeup or jewelry for they are perfect as they are and they should be celebrated for just that! And piercings! As far as I'm concerned, they should only be allowed to get it done when they're able to care for the puncture wounds themselves. Bottom line is, it pains me to see that all the materialistic, superficial "stuff" that corporate companies introduce to women as necessity, or "must-have"s, robs young girls of their innocence and naïveté way too early and too fast. More importantly, the ideals of beauty, judged and promoted by society, enter young girls' psyche at ages that are too young to know better and have much greater negative and lasting effects in the long run.

While I'm ranting about promoting superficial beauty and demoting self-esteem, let's not forget evil companies like Mattel Inc. Doesn't that creep you out that a doll for little girls has breasts? Why not slap a penis on Ken while we're at it?

The way I see it... My daughter's out of luck in the beauty department because she has a mother whose makeup routine involves a 3-minute job of smearing foundation on her face and putting moisturizing lip balm with color on her lips. I like my hair short 'cause I rarely brush it (that's what fingers are for), I hate blow-drying, and I can't put my hair into anything without eventually throwing a fit. The only ring I wear is my wedding ring, and I only wear earrings for fun (which is like... once or twice a year). I keep my nails short, and I only put nail polish on my toes in the summer because my toes get really dirty and gross. I know I'm a slob in some women's eyes. I just can't be bothered. I'd much rather spend the energy and money on going out to eat or a trip somewhere.

And sorry, Barbie. You're not welcome here.

This Kid...

2012-01-08T03:35:00.000-08:00

-- Rock star can't be disturbed
He was singing his heart out while "playing" Daddy's guitar (with a guitar pick too). When I went to watch him, he held out one hand and said, "Stop, Mommy. Stay back. Kaikai singing."

-- Taste your own medicine mommy
I was helping him down the stairs to the backyard on the way to school. He looked at my hand and said, "Mommy need trim nails. Yucky!"

-- Great bargaining
Me, "Okay... One more minute and you have to come out of the bath."
Kai, "Kaikai want five more minutes."
Me, "Mmm... Five minutes is too long. The water's getting cold, Kai. One minute!"
Kai (counting with his fingers), "1, 2, 3, 4, 5." Then he held up one finger and said, "How 'bout three minutes, mommy? Three minutes!"

-- How to make parents feel dumb
Kai let out a loud fart while the three of us were snuggling in bed. Bill said while laughing, "Did you just toot, Kai?"
The 2-year-old looked at his father, all serious, "No not mommy!"

Our Bedtime Reading Routine

2012-01-03T23:59:00.000-08:00

I've been reading to Kai before bed since he was only a month old. It was easy when he was little because I could just read him whatever I was reading at the time. The goal back then was not for him to understand but to be exposed to the sounds and rhythm of the spoken language. Very soon we switched from wordy books to picture books, but even then Kai was young enough to simply enjoy whatever I put in front of him. Ever since he started talking, Kai would tell me what books he wanted to read before bed, and very often it's the same books night after night. As his book collection expanded, we started encouraging him to go to the bookshelf and pick the books he wants to read for the night. It was always a hoot watching the toddler actually taking his time thinking and choosing with his chin in one palm. Now that Kai's sleeping in his own bed, we tell him that he can pick two books: one we'll read while he snuggles on mommy; one we'll read when he gets in bed by himself. It's been working very well so far. The end of the first book serves as a signal: It's time for Kai to get into his bed. The boy rarely protests because he knows what to expect. In fact, he's been so good that, as soon as I finish reading the last sentence of the book he chooses, he'll say, "The end. Now Kaikai goes to Kaikai's bed and read a book" and climb into his bed.

All this "reading" has also changed as he matures: from passively receiving the sounds that came out of mommy's mouth to actively reciting or asking questions. I've also noticed that, to Kai (at 26 months old), reading means from cover to cover. I have to read the title on the front cover before turning to the first page or he'll make me go back to it. If it's a new book, Kai will point at the title and ask, "What it says, mommy?" Then he runs his fingers through the letters and repeats the title.

In the last month or so, our bedtime reading routine has changed yet again. Now with greater familiarity with the books he owns and confidence in himself as a competent reader, this little book worm has decided to take a more independent approach in our "reading" activity. Instead of choosing 2 books before bed, he now chooses 3. He always has 2 books for the "reading while snuggling" part: one for mommy; one for Kaikai. We separately engage in reading side by side. He actually reads the book in his hand out loud. Maybe not every single word but enough to tell the story. While he's busy reading that book, mommy has to be doing her assigned reading as well, preferably in total silence. And mommy has to really read it. He actually pays attention and says, "Read, mommy. Read!" if he notices that I haven't turned a page in a while. Then we swap the books and do the same things again.

Tonight, as he was reading "Eeyore Had a Birthday" (Mommy was assigned "Pooh and Piglet Go Hunting), Kai started chuckling when he got to the part when Winnie the Pooh ate the pot of honey he'd planned to give Eeyore for his birthday. I asked why it was funny. He said, "Because Winnie the Pooh eat it. No birthday cake... honey... for Eeyore now. It's silly."
"Who's silly?" I asked.
"Winnie the Pooh!" he answered in a "Ugh! Need you ask, mommy?" tone.

I wonder when he'll let me choose my own book to read with him before bed....

Naming Pepper

2012-01-02T09:36:00.000-08:00

It was so much easier when we gave Kai his name. Bill wanted his father's name, so all we had to come up with was a middle name. Since we wouldn't have even gotten pregnant without Dr. Liu, we decided to show our appreciation and gratefulness by using the first word from Dr. Liu's given name "Jia" (which means "excellence") as the first word of Kai's Chinese name. We decided to use Kai as the second word because it means "triumph". Kai is Dr. Liu's triumph. My personal triumph.

And Kai's a unique English name... so we thought.

Within the first 6 months after we relocated to Vancouver, we met at least 4 different Kais of different ethnic backgrounds (none of which Chinese). Among the 4 sets of parents, only one Caucasion-Japanese parents told us that they named their son Kai because it means it means "the ocean" in Japanese. The other 3 were pretty much the typical hippish, alternative life style type of Vancouverites who wanted to have a name that's "way out there".

Enough about Kai's name.

I personally never thought we'd be pregnant again. I mean, I wanted to have another kid because I would like Kai to have a sibling. However, being 39 years old and with my medical history, I knew I had to keep my expectations in place. I would be more than happy to adopt. There are many kids out there who need a good family.

As it turned out, we are blessed again with another child of our own. And a little girl nonetheless!!

Naming a girl seems much harder. We want to keep the same pattern: an English first name and a Chinese word as the middle name. For the English name, we tried Donna, Bill's mother's name, but it doesn't go well with a Chinese name in the middle. We then tried to use my mom's name and it was even more problematic: Jade Martin (porn star name), Emerald Martin (weird), or Fragrance Martin (unheard of). My mom's English name is Ada, but I don't think it has any special meaning to her. I even tried my own grandmothers' names, which would be Snow and Pearl when translated into English. However, I've never been fond of my paternal grandmother and didn't know my maternal grandmother at all. Using either one of their names would not be meaningful.

So for now she's nicknamed Pepper because I've craving really spicy food this pregnancy. We won't really use Pepper as part of her name though. For one thing, I'm sure our kids will not want to be known as Kai and Pepper (cayenne pepper) in school.

I wouldn't.

2011-12-31T18:52:00.000-08:00

To Kai From Aunt Ejay

親愛的寶貝：

現在是剛剛過完聖誕節的十二月，連續好幾週的雨，今天總算出了太陽

每一年到這個時候，毫無例外的，大家都紛紛經歷著慌亂忐忑的自我反省，因為在這樣一個並沒有什麼事情是真的結束了的尾聲，所有錯過的、來不及完成的，已沒有太多時間去遺憾，而想再追求的、再繼續努力的，又總是還有些許值得期待的可能。

但是否對自己這一年來的表現滿意，或究竟搞清楚了自己要什麼不要什麼，不管活到幾歲，長了多少智慧，我們總還是不確定的。

似乎很簡單不是嗎？什麼讓我們快樂？什麼讓我們迷惘或沮喪？什麼讓我們不計代價地想擁有？什麼讓我們奮不顧身地想抵抗？！一切問題的答案偶爾會清清楚楚寫在自己的微笑或不安的情緒裡，似乎只要停下來，用一次好好呼吸的時間，我們就可以聽見真實的心跳，可以不再質疑。可以知道為什麼。

看似很簡單的事，但身為大人，我們總做不到，或者，總做不好。

因為常常，我們離自己的心好遠。

就算崇尚自由、隨性而為如阿姨我，在條條框框的世界裡盡量維持了一種自在，竟還是非得訂製一個寫著心的項鏈每天24小時不離身的貼在胸口，才足以提醒不能對自己撒謊，才能持續相信這絕對是真正值得追尋的信仰！

你現在還小小的，我從照片中影片裡一步步看著你成長，也悄悄學習著你那許多令人著迷的任性模樣。你會什麼就說什麼、不經修飾的童言童語，玩美搭配著傻裡傻氣、毫不偽裝的驕傲或逞強；你舉手投足都自然表露了需要關心與注意的坦白，你與生俱來就充滿著表達喜歡與愛的勇氣，並且在大人們亂了陣腳的時刻，你其實很懂得原諒⋯

我很開心你是個如此得人疼愛的孩子，也很感動與感謝這是你的媽咪犧牲了許多我如今或許還擁有的，自我與其他，甘心換取而來的簡單幸福。

我認識你的媽咪的時候，她或許還是個女孩，或是正充滿夢想和理想地轉戰著各式職場，然後我們一起不管遠方的往前走，任由現實強迫我們成長。我看過她為了所愛痴傻無怨尤的等待，因為病痛所展現的驚人堅強及忍耐。她曾經失戀了、心碎了，茫然不知所措地跑來要我的安慰與擁抱，或者，為了自己的幸福，她與她的媽咪總上演著無止境的僵持與衝突。

然後她找到屬於自己的未來，並且決定成為你的媽咪。然後從此，她將永遠為你的快樂而微笑，為你的失望而焦急掉眼淚。

還好我認識的她，也絕對不會停止尋找更美更好的自己。

在這一個大家興高采烈送禮的季節裡，阿姨我很難想出任何特別的禮物。這是我目前為止最愛的一首，給寶貝們的歌。雖然很厲害的陳奕迅已經在新專輯中唱出了屬於他的版本，但我還是最鍾情原創者的詮釋與聲音。

真的。長大後，懂得越多，相信的越少。

關於成長的現實的一切慢慢地都會到來，誰也無法抵抗。

所以，親愛的寶貝！我祝福你在媽咪與家人的愛裡快樂平安的長大，但記得「不要讓任何人告訴你，你該怎樣對待世界，或它該怎對你。要跟現在一樣隨心。」

請永遠要是個懂得照顧自己的心的小孩。

The Occurrence of Pronouns

2011-12-30T03:21:00.000-08:00

They are here.
All in one day.
All mixed up.
Totally not what I was expecting and...
definitely not like what I learned in textbooks.

It ain't easy learning the English pronominal system for English-as-a-second-language learners or native English-speaking toddlers. The acquisition and later mastery of these seemingly simple words require a massive amount of understanding of relations. Learners also need to understand basic semantic properties that a sentence is consisted of and their appropriate locations. They need to know what type of pronouns replaces and/or reflects what type of nouns. It is such a complex process, in fact, it takes an average child 5 years to learn and use them all consistently correctly.

As a typical textbook case of pronoun development in child language acquisition, subjective pronouns, such as I and You, are the first to appear, followed closely by objective pronouns (me and you). The third to appear are the possessive pronouns (your, his,mine), and last but not least, the reflective ones (myself, himself). In addition to the different types of pronouns, what adds to the complexity of pronoun acquisition is the fact that the English language is gender-specific and quantity-specific. What that means in child language development is that, at the same time all these four types of pronouns emerge very often in the order mentioned above, other patterns can also be observed. For instance, 1st- and 2nd- person pronouns are acquired earlier than 3rd- person ones, and singulars occur before plurals.

The occurrence of pronouns and the order in which they appear obviously vary from child to child. In Kai's case, he didn't start using subjective pronouns until yesterday, which is right at the later part of the expected age range according to the textbooks (subjective pronouns usually occur in toddlers between 12-26 months of age). Granted, we've taught him to make polite requests (questions beginning with May I and Can I), but in my mind those were repetitions of set phrases, which did not signify spontaneous acquisition. However, once Kai deliberately used the first "I" in a sentence at my friend's house in Seattle, all these other ones started popping up all over the place in numerous occasions (in other words, they were not isolated single occurrence).

In the last 48 hours, Kai has used all four types of pronouns in random order. He'd say, "Kaikai put on shoes all by himself" (while still referring to himself as third person). He'd give me a toy and say, "This is for you, Mommy" (note the use of two pronouns in the sentence). He'd point at a character in the book and ask, "What his name?" And he'd argue with me as for who should cut his food into small pieces, "No Mommy do it. I do it."

The only pronouns that are still absent in Kai's speech are the plurals in all four categories. However, according to the textbooks, they are expected in speeches between 34 to 47 months of age.

This 2-year-old's Conscience

2011-12-28T01:04:00.000-08:00

Kai pushed his 9-month-old cousin Corbin away from his toys earlier today and was taken upstairs by his father to have a talk about his behavior. Then he came down, apologized to Corbin, and promised not to hurt him again. To us adults, we thought the incident ended there and then, when in fact, it had a much bigger impact on this sensitive 2-year-old than we could ever imagine.

It was way beyond his usual bedtime, but Kai was still tossing and turning right next to me. With the unborn child doing somersault in my belly, my patience was quickly running thin.
"Kai, you need to settle down and go to sleep," I said.
In the dark a tiny voice replied, "Kaikai sad."
"Why are you sad, Kai?"
"Kaikai sad... Talk Daddy."
"You're sad and you want to talk to Daddy?"
"No. Kaikai sad... because hurt Daddy."
My stomach knotted. "You're sad because you hurt Daddy?"
"Kaikai sad because pushed Corbin... pushed Daddy..."
My stomach turned into a knot so tight that it squeezed tears out of my eyes.
"But after you and Daddy talked, you understood it was wrong to push Corbin, right?"
"Yeah..."
"And you told Corbin you were sorry and will not do it again, remember?"
"Yeah..."
"Well, I think it's okay now. Stop thinking about it and go to sleep, okay?"
Kai didn't answer. He grabbed my left arm and wrapped it around him, "Kaikai need a hug..."
I pulled him closer and kissed the top of his head. "Do you feel better now?"
"Yeah..." he answered.
Through the light coming in from the window, I saw that his eyes were still wide open. "Kai, close your eyes and stop thinking, okay? You really need to go to sleep."
Right before he finally drifted off to sleep, our sensitive 2-year-old said, "Mommy, Kaikai see everything."

I think he meant he was "seeing" everything that happened. I wouldn't go as far as saying that he was reflecting on his actions because I don't know if children his age actually have the ability to "reflect" and if it would be the same as how we understand. I would, however, say that it is pretty damn amazing that Kai is able to process a significant event that happened earlier today (significant because he never had to learn how to behave around younger children) and express his emotions so eloquently. More importantly, I'm pleased and blown away by the immense amount of compassion and empathy he has shown in the conversation. It's like his mind is way more mature than his age, yet he still has to deal with the pitfalls of toddlerhood. Hmm... I like how Bill put it (he was also in the room when the conversation took place). Maybe he can share what he thinks/feels later.

Logical Thinking at Two Years Old

2011-12-27T04:13:00.000-08:00

Kai and I were walking in a parking lot. His one hand was holding mine and the other holding his favorite toy car. Bill caught up to us and asked, "Kai, you wanna hold Daddy's hand, too?"
"No," the 2-year-old said assertively.
Bill pretended to sob, "You don't wanna hold Daddy's hand?"
Kai raised the hand with the toy car in it, "Because Kaikai holding McQueen."

At Fred Meyers,
"Kaikai want new Lightning McQueen car."
"You HAVE a new Lightning McQueen car from Grandma and Grandpa for Christmas, remember?"
The toddler thought for a second, put out both hands with palms facing up.
"What does this mean?" I asked.
The little bugger reasoned, "Kaikai no have new Lightning McQueen car NOW, Mommy."

At the check-out counter, I showed Kai a Lion King DVD and asked what was on the cover. After pointing out the lion and the pig, Kai said, "Mommy open it."
Honestly I wasn't really paying much attention when I answered, so I didn't choose words I knew he'd for sure understand, "We can't open it 'cause it doesn't belong to us."
"Well...," he said (Now that caught my attention. How many 2-year-olds begin a sentence with "Well..."), "Mommy pay, then open it."

Kwistata Woben

2011-12-14T06:35:00.000-08:00

"Kaikai needs a hammer," the 27-month-old announced.
Then he rummaged through his toy tool box and got out the blue plastic hammer that has big "HAMMER" written on the side.
"What do you need the hammer for?"
"Because...," Kai grabbed the stuffed donkey that was on the coffee table by one ear and set it upright, "Kaikai fix Eeyore tail." He started to hammer the tail onto Eeyore, "Just like Kwistata Woben."

Baby Sister

2011-12-13T00:20:00.000-08:00

"Who's in Mommy's belly, Kai?"
"Sister."
Then I told Bill that perhaps we should give her a name so Kai won't think "Sister" is her name.
"What sister called, Mommy?"
Well... That just proved Mommy (once again) underestimated how much this little guy understands about what goes on around him.
"I don't know. What do you think we should call her?"
"A bee!"
"B?" Mommy isn't very bright sometimes.
"A bee! Bzzzz..."
"Oh! Why a bee?"
"No, a butterfly!"
"Well, you have to choose one, Kai. A bee or a butterfly?"
"A butterfly!"

Right before bedtime, I was sitting in the armchair and he was sitting in his bed. Suddenly a tiny hand reached out and started petting my belly. The baby was kicking back.
"What are you doing, Kai?"
"Kaikai petting Mommy belly."
"Why are you petting Mommy's belly?"
"Kaikai petting belly... Baby sister be quiet."
"You want your baby sister to be quiet? Is she noisy?"
"No....... Just... be quiet."
"Would you like to talk to your baby sister?" I lifted up my shirt.
Kai put a stuffed piggy on my belly, "Look! It's pigwet!" he petted my belly again, "Kaikai here. Petting Mommy belly. Baby sister be quiet now."

2011-12-11T06:29:00.000-08:00

Born for the Snow

He was ready.

First thing in the morning, when we asked him if he knew where we were going yesterday, Kai said, "Go to the mountain. Play in the snow."

His face beamed with anticipation and excitement as we tried on the snow pants over his already multi-layered outfit. He was thrilled to know that he'd get to wear his shark boots and a scarf. We packed more clothes and extra socks into our bags, stuffed with snacks and fruit, and off we went.

It took less than an hour to go from where we live to the parking lot of Grouse Mountain. As we were driving through the Lions Gate Bridge, Bill noticed how quiet Kai was in his car seat. "What are you thinking about back there, Kai?" The little guy hesitated a second then answered, "Uh.... Maggie." Bill and I really had to resist the urge to tease him about her. Maggie is this little blond girl at Kai's daycare, and he talks about her every single day. He always wants to say good night to her first when we sing the good-night song right before going to sleep every night. It was just funny that a 27-month-old would be "thinking about" his little crush from school while being in the car with his parents. What exactly did he think about? :)

The trip to the mountains was an adventure right from the beginning. After we helped him get all bundled up, Kai and I walked along the edge of the parking lot while waiting for Bill to pay for parking. Kai told me he wanted to climb up this hill. I looked up and saw a big white wolf staring at us from the other side of a wired fence that clearly labelled "Wolf Habitat. No Dogs Allowed". It was my first time seeing a wild wolf, let along a white one. I think I was more excited than my son, who was playfully shouting to the animal, "Wolf says woof woof woof."

Once we each got our very own season pass, we got on the Grouse Skyride, a cable car that takes us all the way up to the top (Kai called it "a boat"). There are two towers along the way. At each tower, the car goes through a loop which makes the car sway back and forth. Everybody in the car let out this nervous/excited "Oooooooo....." (as we learnt later on, the ride up was nothing in comparison to the ride down the mountain). It was foggy at the top. As Bill and I tried to get our bearings and decide what to do first, all Kai wanted was to "go outside" and play in the SnnnnNOW!!!

It was a kiddy paradise. Every little hill was a natural (and most of the time very bumpy) slide. There's an ice rink and Santa's Workshop, sleigh ride, and quite a few Santas around Even the 2 reindeer outside of the Workshop seem so friendly that they actually enjoy having their pictures taken with the kids. A side note: When I pointed one of the Santas out and asked Kai what Santa does, Kai said, "Santa stuck in the chimney." (guess he learnt that from one of the stories at school) Then he quickly corrected himself, "Santa there! Santa no stuck in the chimney more! Hi Santa!"

The highlight of Kai's day was going ice-skating with Daddy. He was probably the youngest kid on the ice yesterday (they didn't even have skates his size), but he didn't take him long to build up his confidence on the slippery ice. Bill very quickly found out what a back-breaking job it was to take a toddler on the ice. As soon as Kai was done skating, Bill went for a couple of laps by himself. As Kai and I watched on, Kai asked, "What Daddy doing?" "Skating," I answered. The little guy smiled and said, "Just like Kaikai."

Well, the season has just begun and we have our passes. Kai's gonna be seeing a lot more snow this year than he did last year. A part of me wishes I weren't pregnant now...

My Husband's Finally Back in Bed...

2011-12-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

... with me.

Bill can't sleep when Kai's in our bed. Kai tosses and turns/kicks in his sleep, and our bed is simply too small for 3. We've been trying to get Kai into his own bed for a looooong time. The old house wasn't ideal because Kai's room was not properly set up. Then we had to move after 6 months. In this new house, it took us a few months to "find our bearings" so to speak because of the layout of the house. There are 2 adjacent bedrooms in the basement (but who wants to live in the basement?). There's one big bedroom on the main floor right next to the kitchen (that was our bedroom when we first moved in). However, we quickly realized how inconvenient it was to have a bedroom practically right in the kitchen. Specifically, when someone's in the bedroom, nothing can be done in the kitchen. Finally we decided to move up to the two smaller rooms in the attic. It's not ideal, but the alternative would be moving to another place (again) in the winter.

Long story short, we're making the most out of the situation. We set up Kai's room with a Lightning McQueen fleece blanket pinned to the wall next to his bed and shelves lined with some of his favorite books. There's an area rug on the floor where he can drive his cars on the roads. Kai also picked out 2 Lightning McQueen posters, and we'll hang them up on the wall once they're framed. Kai started to show interest in the room once he recognized it as "Kaikai's Room". Every night on the way upstairs, we ask if he wants to sleep in his bed. It was always a definite "No" in the beginning. Then he agreed to read in his bed until it was time to go to sleep. After a few more nights of tears, tantrums, and battles of will, Kai started falling asleep in his own bed. However, he'd cry and ask for Mommy when he woke up in the middle of the night. Bill was the one who went and comforted him. We'd let him come into our bed for the night. But the next morning Bill would talk about it with Kai and tell him how he could better handle the situation: "When you wake up in the middle of the night, you should try to go back to sleep." "If you want Mommy, you don't have to cry. All you need to do is to say 'Mommy, Kaikai's up' and we'll come get you."

And it worked. The next few nights, Kai would simply call "Mommy" while sitting in his bed in the dark or I'd hear a lot of ruffling from the monitor and find Kai standing in the hallway between our two rooms holding a stuffed animal and rubbing his eyes, "Kaikai all done sleeping in Kaikai's bed, Mommy."

Then on Tuesday, Kai slept in his bed through the night (it was weird 'cause I woke up every few hours anticipating a toddler standing by our door, but it never happened)!! We made a gigantic deal out of it the next morning and got the daycare teachers involved as well so they can help praise Kai on his big achievement. Kai didn't say anything, but he was happy and he knew how proud we were.

It's a lot for this little guy to adjust to because he's been in our bed since he was 6 months old, but he's being such a great sport. We're taking it one night at a time. Sometimes I wonder if he's really only 2 years old. He seems to understand so much already.

A 2-year-old's Reasoning Skills

2011-12-02T22:34:00.000-08:00

Kai gave his stuffed tow truck a squeeze, "Kaikai wuv Mater."
"Aw~~ That's very sweet of you, Kai." "Mater sad, Mommy."
"Why is Mater sad?"
"Because no Kaikai want Mater more."

Kai came into the kitchen, sat down on the floor, and started pulling his socks off.
"Keep your socks on, Kai. The floor's cold."
"Because Kaikai no want sock on... It's wet."

I cut two fingers while making dinner the other night, and Kai's been asking for a band-aid every time he sees mine.
"Kaikai want a (Curious) George band-aid, Mommy."
"You don't need a band-aid, baby."
"Kaikai need a band-aid because..... feel better."
"You don't feel good now, Kai? What's wrong?"
You could tell the little guy's wheels were turning.
He then rammed his head into my thigh, "Kaikai need a George band-aid now... on the head.... because bonk... on Mommy's leg.... just like Boo Hoo Bird."
:) Smart kid!

I borrowed a baby doll from Daycare to see if we can make the idea of a baby sister more real for Kai. When he saw me picking up the doll at Daycare, he yelled, "No Mommy pick up baby!" However, the baby has been home with us for a day now, so I thought I'd try again.
After dinner, when Kai was playing in the living room, I said, "Mommy's gonna go get the baby, okay? I'll be right back."
Kai followed me to the back room, "Where baby go?"
"She's sleeping right here," I picked up the doll and carried her in my arm.
When we went back to the living room, Kai was playing 'around' me and the baby. You could tell he was very aware of the fact that there's something/someone else there with Mommy, but sweet as he is, he tried to include the baby in his play.
"Baby look! Here's a dump truck."
I tried answering for the baby, but of course the baby didn't move.
After about 5 minutes of trying to show his toys to baby and seeing how she just lay there, Kai reached over and said, "No want baby here!"
"Why not?"
"Because baby no talk Kaikai."
"But baby's sleeping."
"No Mommy hold baby sleeping. Mommy talk... play cars with Kaikai. Mommy put baby away now."
Oh boy! We still have a long way to go.

Just when I started wondering if this gentle introduction to a new baby idea would ever work, Kai surprised me yet again. As we were singing the good night song to the people (toys included) he knows in the dark, Kai said, "Baby sister next."
"Whose baby sister?"
"Kaikai's."

We Truly Are Our Children's Examples

2011-11-30T04:01:00.000-08:00

The other morning, Bill and I got into a bit of a "discussion" when he was driving me and Kai to school. At the end of our discussion, Kai commented, "Mommy Daddy cranky talking." Bill explained how we weren't cranky and that, in fact, Mommy and Daddy sometimes need to talk things out to avoid being cranky with one another. Kai listened and went, "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay." while his father was explaining the situation. After Bill finished his explanations, Kai concluded, "No Mommy Daddy talk cranky more."

When does one use "Mm-hmm" (with rising intonation)?
- to show that you're paying attention
- to indicate that you understand what is being said
- to fake the preceding 2 reasons

How does our 26-month-old know how to use "Mm-hmm"?

I've been wrecking my brains trying to recall if Bill or I do it and, if so, when or how often we do it. I haven't been able to figure it out because a social conduct like the Mm-hmm is so natural and therefore unnoticeable that users are often unaware. Here's a sobering fact though: As parents, everything we say and do is being quietly observed and absorbed (and obviously it goes beyond habitual use of expressions). And then out of nowhere, you're confronted with who and what you are in the form of your child (In Your Face, Parents!!)

Well, Bill and I are somewhat aware of what we do and say around Kai, but we also know that there's no hiding who we are and that Kai is bound to pick up some bad habits from us.

Let's hope that when the day comes to explain to Kai why he has to stop doing or saying what he sees one of his parents does or says, he will also be saying, "Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Okay."

2011-11-26T20:44:00.000-08:00

More "How Did He Know That" Moments

Kai saw the BC Lions (it's the local CFL team) logo and said, "Mommy, it's football." There was no audio or other visual clues...

In the car, Kai heard the scoring horn of a hockey game in a commercial and said, "Mommy, that's hockey! Remember we won?"

We were at my colleague Ashley's house. Kai wanted to touch the Piglet on baby Matthew's crib mobile, but he couldn't quite reach it with his arm. Kai, "Oh no. Pigwet too far to get."

Bill, "Kai, what do you like to do most, walking-walking, running-running, or hopping-hopping?"
Kai, "Hopping-hopping. Doink doink doink!"
Bill, "What animal are you? Are you a rabbit, a kangaroo, or a froggy?"
Kai, "Kangaroo."
Bill, "What kind of a kangaroo are you?"
Kai, "A baby kangaroo."
Bill, "Oh~~ You're a baby kangaroo. Where's the mommy kangaroo?"
Kai, "Right there!"
Bill, "Oh~~ How do you know so much about kangaroos?"
Kai, "About... a book... about kangaroos... about baby kangaroo Joey." (Kai has book called Pouch, which is about a baby kangaroo named Joey and his mommy)

A Handful & a Mindful

2011-11-23T05:13:00.000-08:00

In the car
"Daddy going fast drive car."
"Oh, is Daddy driving fast?"
"Yeah!"
"Should we tell Daddy to slow down, Kai?"
"Yeah. Daddy, slow down. Be careful, Daddy. Car going fast."

In the car again
"Mack!" (Lightning McQueen's transporter from the movie Cars)
"You saw Mack? Where?"
"Right there!" pointing at a bus.
"That's not Mack. It's a bus."
"Bus kinda like a Mack."
Are you kidding me? How does a 2-year-old know what's 'kinda' like what?!
A couple of hours later, Kai proved it to me that THIS 2-year-old knows exactly what exactly he knows.
"Mommy, look! Kaikai put bowl [on] Kaikai's head. Kinda like a crown."
"Yeah? The bowl is kinda like a crown, huh? What about your McQueen hat? Is it like a crown too?" (Sorry, kid. You have a I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it kinda mom)
"No... (in a "Don't be silly" tone, mind you) No McQueen hat like crown more. Kaikai put this bowl on head... kinda like a crown."
Bam! Mommy was e-du-ca-ted tonight!

After the bath while I was trimming his nails
"Mommy, giraffe crying."
"Aw~~~ Why is giraffe crying?"
"Giraffe have a boo boo on cheek. This cheek. Look, Mommy!"
(the stuffed animal's cheek just needs a few stitches, but Mommy's been too lazy. In fact, I don't even know if we have a sewing kit)
"I can see that. Don't worry. We'll fix it later." (Liar liar pants on fire)
"Okay."
A few seconds later...
"Mommy, giraffe crying now. Boo boo hurt." (Busted, mommy!)
"How can we make him feel better?"
"Giraffe need a Band-Aid."
(Phew!) "Yeah? Should we put a Band-Aid on giraffe?"
"Yeah. Put Band-Aid on. No giraffe crying more."
(We may not have a sewing kit, but we have some cool Lightning McQueen band-aids in the first aid kit. I took one out and helped Kai put it on giraffe's boo boo)
He gleamed, "Giraffe all better now! Show Daddy. Kaikai go downstairs show Daddy!"

Before bedtime in Kai's room
Kai sat in his bed looking at giraffe's band-aided face. Then he said, "Giraffe kinda cute."
"Only 'kinda' cute? Who's 'really' cute then?"
"Kaikai."
No shame... Ur, I mean, good for you, kiddo!
"I agree. Kaikai's pretty cute. Is McQueen cute?"
"No! McQueen race car. Vroom vroom! Fast!"
"You're right. I guess race cars shouldn't be cute. What about Aiden (Kai's daycare playmate)? Is Aiden cute?"
"No." he giggled.
"Is Sophie cute?"
"No." big smiles!
"What about Maggie? Is Maggie cute?" (Maggie's Kai's little crush at the daycare)
Kai hesitated a bit. Then he looked away all shy and smiling, "No..."
"Really? Maggie's not cute? I'm surprised! Is Daddy cute?"
"No."
Sorry, dad.
I was almost afraid to ask, "Is Mommy cute?"
"No."
Saw that coming but OUCH nonetheless.
"Alright stinker, who's cute?"
He looked at me and said it in this "I already told you" tone), "Kaikai!"
I stand corrected.

Baby's Got Rhythm

2011-11-22T01:53:00.000-08:00

Kai got the book Brown Bear Brown Bear What do You See from family friends Greg and Marie on his first birthday. I noticed a few weeks ago that the daycare also has that book. Perhaps it's because of his familiarity with the book, Kai recently started "reciting" the book on his own when he's playing. Just like how he'd start singing while he's playing with his cars.

"Brown bear brown bear what do you see? I see a red bird looking at me. Red bird red bird what do you see? I see a yellow duck looking at me...." It goes on with different colors and animals. Kai knows them all by heart now.

During the bedtime story time tonight, Kai wanted me to read to his new favorite toy "Giraffe" while he plays by himself around the armchair. "Mommy read Winnie the Pooh [to] Giraffe." As I read to the yellow bedside toy that sings a lullaby when you pull the string on his butt, Kai climbed into his bed with a Thomas the Engine book:

(pointing at the title) "The spe-show deviviry." He practiced saying this tongue-twisting (for a 2-year-old anyway) title a couple more times. "The spe-show deviviry. Okay..... Train track train track What do you see? I see Cranky looking at me. Cranky Cranky What do you see? I see Thomas the Train looking at me. (This part got a little tricky because of the sheer number of syllables he has to fit in, but he did it) Thomas-the-train Thomas-the-train What do you see? I see a helicopter looking at me. Helicopter Helicopter What do you see? I see a what-that-is looking at me. ("What that is?" is Kai's "What is that?) The whole time he was reinventing the Brown Bear rhyme with Thomas the Engine, he pointed at each of the items he included in his new rhyme on the cover of the book. "What-that-is" is the box that needs special delivery.

I was blown away by his superb sense of rhythm and pace, linguistically. He obviously understands how the original Brown Bear rhyme works and (just to knock his Mommy's socks off) is able to make a new one with dead-on rhythm in which the beat falls on the correct syllable!

I'm totally intrigued. We need more rhyming books 'cause who knows what else a 2-year-old will come up with.

To the library!

Book Worms

2011-11-16T01:37:00.000-08:00

Kai's teachers have commented on his love for books and stories in several occasions. One of the teachers is really impressed by his language skills and attention span during story time. "He always wants to be close to the book and comments on the story as we go," she said. "And he's constantly asking questions. He really loves books and stories."

For the last couple of weeks, when I go to pick up Kai at school, he's always reading by the book shelf (either by himself or with a teacher/another kid & parent). As soon as he sees me, he arranges the little couches they have so we can sit face to face and read a book before we leave the school. I love how after he picks a book, he always reads the title as he points at each word with his little index finger. It makes him look as if he actually recognizes those words! We have also started borrowing a book home every day. Kai loves The Little Blue Truck series and The Cow Loves Cookies. Today he found Racing with NASCAR. I have a feeling we'll be reading that one for a while.

I remember getting lost in stories when I was little. I used to trace the illustration in Puss in Boots because I loved the story and drawings. I was so upset when my mom gave those big hard-cover picture books away when she thought I had outgrown them. I wanted to keep them for the rest of my life! I got into trouble with my grandparents because I insisted on bringing dinner into my room (I didn't want to put a pause on what I was reading).

Bill's the same way. In fact, he and I are total book hoarders! Every time we move, we're always amazed at how many books we each own.

Tonight, after Kai and I have read at least 4 books during story time before bed, he stood in front of his book shelf with both hands on his lower back looking at the books. Then he turned and said to me, "Mommy, Kaikai want lots and lots of books." I said, "You know what? We can borrow books from the library so you'll get to read a lot of different books."

My 26-month-old walked out of his room, stood by the gate at the staircase and said, "Mommy drive! Kaikai go to liberry. Lots and lots of books!"

2011-11-14T21:57:00.000-08:00

Little Song Writer

Recently Kai started deliberate singing. Sometimes he just suddenly starts singing off the top of his lungs for self amusement. His favorite songs are the ABCs, Twinkle Twinkle Little Star, The Wheels on the Bus, Row Row Row Your Boat, and the Good-Bye song they sing at daycare.

We've also noticed he's making up his own lyrics now:

"The wheels on the bus go round and round, round and round, round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round. All through the town-o!

The McQueen on the bus go(es) vroom vroom vroom, vroom vroom vroom, vroom vroom vroom.
The McQueen on the bus go(es) vroom vroom vroom. All through the town-o!

The piggy on the bus go(es) oink oink oink...
The kangaroo on the bus go(es) doink doink doink..."

..... You get the idea. He can go on and on with whatever he sees.

Then there's the Good-bye song too. This is a song they sing to a visiting child at the daycare:

"Good-bye, (the child's name). Good-bye, (the child's name). Good-bye, (the child's name). We'll see you next time."

Kai substitutes the child's name in the original song with whatever he sees in front of him, be it a dump truck, a helicopter (puzzle), Totoro (stuffed animal), a little blue truck (book), or his own fork.

The funniest part of this song-writing thing he does is that it seems to crack him up more than anything, and that's why he likes doing it (and why we like watching him do it) so much.

2011-11-08T20:05:00.001-08:00

A Quick One

Dinner was ready. Kai was walking behind me in the kitchen with a mischievous look on his face. I knew that look: it was a "let's play chase, Mommy" look. I started walking farther away from him slowly. And all of a sudden, I turned and started running into the dining room. The boy shrieked and giggled. When he finally "caught Mommy", I picked him up into my arms. He wrapped his arms around me, nestled his head on my neck and shoulder and said (most definitely), "Ah~~~ Kaikai wuv Mommy."

My heart melted and I got all teary-eyed.

2011-11-08T02:55:00.000-08:00

Talking on the Phone Ain't as Easy as We Think

Kai has really taken an interest in talking on the phone recently. At first I didn't think he understood what was being said, but after closer observation, I was amazed to find out he is conversing in a meaningful way with the voice from the phone and that he thinks the person he's talking to is also able to see what he sees.

Note: My intention is not to brag. Being a language nut, it's hard not to analyze what is going on with every new step my child makes in his language development.

Phone conversations are more difficult to understand because they offer fewer context clues for the participants to decode, or fill in the gap, when communication becomes murky. In other words, it is more difficult to understand what is said via the phone because one cannot see the other person's facial expressions, lip movements, or gestures -- all of which are clues we naturally use to facilitate interpersonal communication. For this very reason, language learners often find talking on the phone almost a daunting experience.

Another factor that makes phone conversations more difficult to understand is the unpredictability of the conversation itself. Unlike face-to-face communication, in which changes in the topics are very often clearly signaled by pauses, gesture, or conversational signals such as "Hey" or "Oh yeah," there is very little in phone conversations to help the participants predict what the next question might be. In addition, it's more difficult to converse on the phone because it requires a very tricky thing called "turn-taking", a concept that even some adults never truly understand (smirk).

Adults are able to engage in phone conversations effortlessly because of our much more superb language skills and... let's face it, a whole lot more years of high-frequency training. For a 2-year-old... if we really think about it, it's quite a challenge!

For most 2-year-olds, face-to-face communication often involves the here-and-now: the book they're reading, the toys they're playing with, the food they're eating, or the tasks they're performing. Context clues are everywhere. It's comforting and safe, and the routine linguistic structures offer scaffolds for toddlers to try out new things and learn new skills. When Kai talks on the phone, he often starts with a report of his here-and-now. For instance, he'd point at each of the characters on his backpack and tell you who they are. However, I've noticed he does that as if to check if the other person on the phone is in the same "conversational space" as he is (a more literal meaning to the expression "you see what I'm saying", if you will). Luckily, most replies he gets confirm that the other person does know what he's talking about, so he feels more secure to continue the conversation. He'll tell you what he's doing, what Mommy/Daddy's doing, or what one of his toys is doing.

Tonight, Kai took his "talking on the phone" to a whole new level. He flirted with QUESTIONS -- those unpredictable (=scary, hard to handle) questions through the phone. More importantly, he not only answered some of them, he asked some as well.

It was a phone call with my aunt and my youngest cousin Vivian. After he knew who I was talking to, Kai insisted on talking to his "i-puo" (great aunt). He grabbed the phone out of my hand and shouted into the phone, "Hi, i-puo." My aunt greeted him and asked what he was doing. Kai answered, "Kaikai play phone." My aunt then asked, "What did you have for supper, Kai?" (note: in our house, we say "eat dinner" or "have dinner" more often)

Kai paused. He looked at,... hmm... more like looked into, the phone as if seeking clarification. When that wasn't offered, our little linguist took a chance. "Pizza!" he said. "Oh, you had pizza for supper? Was it yummy?" My aunt's reply confirmed the little linguist's hypothesis. Kai continued with greater confidence and immediately started experimenting with the "new" words, "Yeah, Kaikai have pizza fur suppa. Yu-mmy! Pizza! Kaikai have pi... mmm.... Kaikai... have sup.... yummy pizza... fur suppa."(I LOVE watching how he strings words together and tries to work out the correct sentence structure. It's sheer joy... and pride, of course).

Then it happened (dramatic sound effect please)! Instead of waiting for my aunt to ask another question, Kai asked, "Where Pudding go, i-puo?" (Pudding is my aunt's dog) My aunt answered Pudding was with her there and asked if Kai wanted to see Pudding. I'm not sure if it was because he was thrilled that his question was answered or if he was happy about the answer, Kai answered with great enthusiasm, "Yeah!" So my aunt promised to bring Pudding along next time she comes to visit.

Now that he considered himself a somewhat "seasoned" phone conversationalist, when my cousin came to the phone, Kai shouted into the phone, "Hi, aunt Wi-on, what you doin'?" My cousin and I nearly peed ourselves. My cousin gave her answer and asked what Kai was doing. Kai said proudly, "Kaikai have a poo-poo... in the pants."

Well, that concluded the phone call.

2011-11-05T17:06:00.000-07:00

I Wish I Could've Caught This on Camera

Took Kai to the playground at the Y this morning. The little boy was walking back and forth on the little bridge that connects the stairs and the slides. I was standing on the ground watching him from the side.
Suddenly he stopped and said with all seriousness, "Mommy, come UP!"
I replied, "Nah~~ it's okay. You play up there. Mommy likes watching you from here."
Kai, "Mommy, come UP! Crocodiles under the bridge."
I exaggerated, "What? Where are the crocodiles under the bridge?"
Kai pointed to the ground, "Right THERE!"
Me, "Oh no! How many are there, Kai?"
Kai (in ascending volume), "1, 2, 3, 5789, 11. Mommy," he looked into my eyes and said, "A. Lot. Of. Crocodiles. Mommy." Then, as if it was an after thought, he added, "And alligators."
I pretended to panic, "What should Mommy do, Kai? Can you help Mommy?"
Kai said nonchalantly, "Yeah." Then he walked to the other side of the bridge.
I thought he had lost interest in our conversation.
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP!
The little guy stumped his booted feet down hard with every step he took on the bridge and shouthed, "Kaikai baby dinosaur!"
I laughed, "Are you a baby dinosaur?"
Kai roared with his mouth as wide as it could go and as loudly as he could.
STOMP! STOMP! STOMP! Kai came back the other way across the bridge, "Crocodile scare baby dinosaur. Kaikai baby dinosaur!"
I let out a sigh of relief, "Oh good. Crocodiles are scared of the baby dinosaur, huh?! Are they all gone now?"
Kai had his eyes on the slides and started heading toward them (that was when he decided this conversation is coming to an end).
He sat at the top of a slide and said, "Mommy okay now."

Aw~~~ my little hero saved me from a bunch of crocodiles and alligators.

After the nap, I put Kai in front of his all-time favorite movies "Cars". My plan was to take the much needed shower, do laundry, and get dinner ready while he was watching it.
"Hey Kai, Mommy's gonna be in the shower, okay?" I poked my head out the bathroom door and said it at the general direction of the living room.
"Kaikai come."
What?! He never wants to take his eyes off of the movie. I waited for a few more seconds. He didn't say anything more. All I could hear was the movie. I turned on the water.

Right around the time when I was rinsing off a full head of bubbles, one end of the shower curtain (the end closest to the splashing water) opened. I tried to open my eyes and look through the bubbly water running down my face. "Kaikai coming, Mommy," announced a naked 2-year-old who had managed to stripped himself down.
"What are you doing, Kai? Do you want to come into the shower with Mommy?"
"Nope!" he ran out of the bathroom. Giggling.

My first thought, "Sh*t! It's cold. He's naked. He's already got a bit of a cold." But I was covered in bubbles.
I shouted, "Come here, Kai."
Thank goodness I kept his doggy robe on the door of the bathroom, and thank goodness we have such a good and understanding little guy. I was able to get him to come back so I could at least put the robe on him. It made me feel better/less guilty.
For the rest of the time I spent in the shower, this little guy ran back and forth between the living room and bathroom, quizzing my knowledge of the movie (good thing we've watched it a few times):

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what happen to Mac?"
"He fell asleep on the highway."

"No Mac falling asleep, Mommy."
"It's okay. Nothing bad will happen to Mac."

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, where McQueen going?"
"He made a wrong turn. Now he's heading to Radiator Springs."

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, no McQueen driving dark."
"Don't worry. He'll be fine. He's gonna meet the police car soon."

"Mommy, police car here!"
"See? McQueen's fine."

"Mommy, what McQueen doing?"
"He's running away from the police car, isn't he? Kai, Mommy's almost done, okay? I'll be out soon."

"No Kaikai want McQueen running, Mommy."
"It's okay, babe. You'll see Mater soon."

"Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, Mater here."
"Yay! See? Everything's fine."

-- Mommy passed the quiz!

2011-11-04T22:35:00.000-07:00

Boundless Imagination Endless Fun

"Where Daddy go, Mommy?"
"Daddy's in California."
"Daddy go see big sharks on a boat."

"What would you like to do today, Kai?"
"First, put on snow jacket. Then go see big shark."

"Kaikai want whale, Mommy."
"Why do you want a whale?"
"Kaikai.... want whale... swimming like Kaikai.... whale in the tub."

"What this is, Mommy?"
"It's a piece of fish cake."
a few seconds later, (singing) "Appy birday, fish. Appy birday, fish."

"It's a big one, Mommy."
"It's a big what?"
"It's a biiiiiiig one."
"I'm sorry, but I don't understand. It's a big what? For example, is it a big car?"
"No."
Is it.... a big lion?"
(in a "Don't be silly" tone) "No....," (very seriously) "Kaikai poopid [pooped] a biiiiiiig one."

Cough! Cough!
"Mommy, Kaikai coughing."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Are you okay?"
"Yeah... Kaikai need water.... coughing...."

"Mommy, Spots need rain jacket."
"Why does Spots need a rain jacket?"
"Spots need rain jacket.... going to the moon!"

(Note: we bough Kai a Nemo bath toy at the aquarium last weekend)
"Dorothy (Elmo's pet fish).... orange fish... like Nemo... live in fish pot."
"You mean Dorothy lives in a fish bowl?"
"Yeah... Dorothy live in fish bowl... blow bubbles. Ppppth.... Kaikai blow bubbles too. Pppptthhh.."
"Oh, does Kaikai live in a fish bowl too?"
"No~~~ Kaikai live in bathtub..... like Nemo."

(Note: It was my best friend's birthday yesterday. Kai calls her "a-yi", which means "auntie" in Chinese)
"It's a-yi's birthday today, Kai."
"Tell a-yi appy birday. Kaikai want some birday cake... Kaikai want some BIRDAY CAKE!!!!"

2011-10-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

Kai's First Trick or Treat

We were totally unprepared.

Aside from the Tigger costume we inherited from Jordy's parents and the box of free mini-pack chocolate we got from spending more than $125 bucks at SuperStore, we literally did nothing to prepare for this Halloween. It took Kai 3 days to warm up to his costume, and it wasn't until he saw the video in which Caleb was walking on the street in a lion costume when he started showing interest in "becoming a tiger". We took him to the Kids' Market at Granville Island on Sunday in costume, but our main goal was to find him a pair of rain boots and a rain jacket.

Today was a Monday, the first day of a session, a 4-hour teaching day for me. I have a nasty cough, and coughing violently while pregnant is no fun. I was exhausted after work, and my feet were killing me. After picking Kai up from daycare, we headed home and ordered take-out for dinner.

Bill drove out to pick up the food while I was being useless on the couch watching Kai play around the coffee table. Around 6:30, our street began to get busy. I could hear kids laughing and giggling. Than little foot steps running up our front steps, and.... Bam! Bam! Bam! "TRICK OR TREAT"!! Oh crap! I didn't want to get up from the couch, but Kai kept asking, "Who that is, Mommy?" The free box of chocolate from SuperStore was on the top shelf in the kitchen, all the way on the other end of the house. Bam! Bam! Bam! Those kids don't give up easily, do they? Fine! I'll get up to get the candy first. Unfortunately, I wasn't even able to make it to the kitchen when Kai all of a sudden started worrying about his daddy. He began to cry, "Where daddy go? Kaikai want go out. Where daddy go?" On my left, there were kids waiting for me to give out candy. On my right, the box of chocolate was eager to be released to serve their purpose. I was caught in between with an inconsolable toddler who wanted nothing and no one else but his daddy, who was not home at the moment.

The kids outside would just have to be disappointed (Yes, I was that lame lady who pretended not to be home when you guys could clearly see and hear her inside the house). I picked up the squirmy toddler into the back room and turned on the computer to distract him. While Kai was looking at his own pictures on my Facebook page, daddy came home, food was here, and life was good again.

But the trick-or-treaters returned. Bam! Bam! Bam! Daddy went to get the door, and fast as lightning (Lightning McQueen, of course), Kai raced to the door repeating "Trick or Treat~~". Before it dawned on us that some of the makeup might be too scary for him, he was already standing by the door uncertain of what was standing on the other side of the screen door. It was a kid with a red demon mask. Instead of being scared, though, it actually peaked Kai's interest and curiosity of what might show up at our door. While we tried to have dinner, Bill and I had to take turns getting the door. And Kai did not want to be sitting at the dining table at all. He wanted to join all the kids outside.

SO we took him out trick-or-treating in his Tigger costume, and it was actually a lot of fun. Evidently, our street is like Halloween central. There were parents who drove to our street and unleashed 10 kids from their SUVs just to go trick-or-treating. Everyone was out, and there were fireworks in all directions. Kai very quickly caught on to what to do. He'd go up to a house by himself, knock on the door, and say, "Trick or treat." He loved looking at the Jack o'lanterns. He loved being out with all the other kids when it's dark out (normally he isn't allowed out when it's dark outside).

As an added feature, there was a fire down the street. We could see flames soaring into the sky from 2 blocks away. An entire row of trees lining the yard of a house was up in flames. Kai got to see THREE fire trucks at work. He was absolutely fascinated by them. The good thing is, the fire was put out very quickly and no one got hurt.

Our little Tigger could not have asked for a better first Halloween.

2011-10-30T20:37:00.001-07:00

Music to My Ears

I just love it when Kai plays by himself. It always makes me smile the things that he comes up with. He makes up dialogues between toys and stories in his books. Then he brings the toys or books to us and shares what they have said with us. It is absolutely adorable!

"Oh hi, Carlos (one of Kai's race cars). What you're doing on the floor?"
"Sleeping."

While reading a books that has pictures of different felines...
"This is kitty cat. Nah~~~ it's a ryan (lion). Roar~~~~." (next page) "This is Spots (a leopard)." (next page) "This is tiger. Grrrrr...." (next page) "This is kitty cat! Yup!"

2011-10-28T09:23:00.000-07:00

Compassion. Is It Innate?

I've noticed when someone is crying or even just pretending to cry, Kai almost always says, "(So-and-so) need a BandAid". When he saw my blood red nail polish, he pointed to each of my toes and said with great concern, "Mommy, this one hurt. This one hurt, too." Last week, I cried in front of Kai for the first time because I was exhausted after a full day of work, Bill was away on business, and Kai refused to go to sleep. This 2-year-old went from a little rebel trying to get out of my arms by swaying his 33-pound body from left to right to a little angel who quietly climbed down my legs, went to the coffee table and brought back a tissue, "Mommy sad. Need tissue. No Mommy cry." And of course, that made me cry some more.

Later I apologized to him for losing control of my emotions. I explained to him that Mommy wasn't sad. Mommy was just very tired and would like to go to sleep now. He sat on my lap holding my face in his two hands and said, "Okay," after each sentence I said. At the end, he leaned into my chest, put his arms around me, and said, "Kaikai and Mommy go to sleep now."

How did he learn to show compassion and empathy? Is it learnt or innate?

Behavioural theorists, such as Piaget and Vygotsky, believe that, instead of being passive sponges that simply absorbs information, children in fact play an active role in gaining knowledge of the world. They are like little scientists who learn through experimentation and experience. Similarly, psychologist Albert Bandura's Social Learning Theory also suggests that children develop new skills and acquire new information from observing the actions of others -- parents, caregivers, peers, and perhaps the culture at large.

If that's the case, Bill and I should be happy that we're surrounded by empathetic people and proud that we ourselves have consistently demonstrated compassion so that our little scientist is able to do the same.

But can we really take full credit for it?

Personally I would like to think that empathy and compassion is within a child's nature. When our children laugh at other people's misfortune or pull on a pet's tail just for giggles, they're simply experimenting to see what would happen if they did that. Adults can't teach compassion, but we can encourage and foster it from within the child through promoting intrinsic reinforcements such as a sense of pride, satisfaction and accomplishment.

Then it becomes a happy circle: if you do good, you feel good, which makes you want to do more good and feel more good. :)

2011-10-21T01:11:00.000-07:00

I Love My Job

Some of my friends have commented about how good I have it at this job and have told me to quit bitching about it because it irritates the crap out of them. As instructors of this program, we know we have it good. In my case, I teach only 12 hours a week and make a decent salary. I could choose to work longer hours and, now that I'm off probation, I can expect a salary bump every subsequent year after this. What bugs some of my friends even more is that, ever since Kai started daycare, I stopped bringing work home because there's no need to do so anymore. That means even with all the prep work, marking, and meetings, I'm able to leisurely roll into the office around 10, work (and chat) for 90 minutes, eat (and chat some more) in the lunch room, and go to class at 12:30. My schedule allows me to work only 4 days a week, two of which I teach 4 hours and only 2 hours on the other two. Oh, and neither of my partners fight me for it, I usually get Fridays off.

So yeah, compared to other working professionals who start their morning commute before sunrise and don't make it home until it's dark, we seem to earn quite a bit of money for the amount of work we put in. But we do work hard. It's just that the amount of work we put in cannot be measured or evaluated the same way as jobs in other industries. It's not how much time you put in each day or how many sales you make (hell, we are not even responsible for retaining students in the program). The real evaluation of your ability to deliver quality lessons to maximize learning potentials takes place every day in class in how well your students understand to your instructions and explanations and how capable you are in identifying problems and finding effective solutions in a timely manner. If you think about it, we're evaluated in every thing we do the moment we walk into the classroom every single day. And there isn't much room for failure. Once you're in front of a group of students, there's no time to consult the thesaurus for synonyms or polish up your grammar.

Oh, but we ESL teachers love it!

If you ask around in my office, most instructors will tell you that we chose to get into the TESL industry because of the flexibility and freedom it offers and the "never-a-dull-moment" nature of the job. As ESL instructors, We get to (try to) answer all kinds of wacky questions (e.g., "Why are Canadians so lazy?" Who are you calling lazy, Mr. I've-missed-3-classes-in-the-last-week-because-I-couldn't-get-up-at-11-to-make-it-to-a-12:30-class?) We are also very easily pleased. Something as small as a joke perfectly delivered by a lower-intermediate student can make a teacher's day (e.g., "I was looking up the word 'charismatic' last night and guess what? I found a picture of me in the definition"). What I most love about my job is the fact that there's really very little I can do to determine the outcome of my effort in any given class. Even with 10+ years of teaching experience or having taught the same materials a few times, every 7 weeks we get a group of different students (repeating students never get the same teachers twice, which is a good thing for the teachers as well). Something that might have worked really well before may totally tank with the students this session. I love the challenge because it keeps me on my toes. Plus, I'm totally addicted to the thrill and sense of accomplishment when I find another effective way of solving a problem or answering a question.

I seriously think being a teacher is Gemini's calling. I'm sure my cousins and many of my friends will agree.

2011-10-19T02:34:00.000-07:00

The World of a 2-Year-Old

Sometimes I miss the days when Kai and I spent the entire day together, but for the most part, I just love how much fun he's having at the daycare (Langara Daycare did not disappoint, and the wait was worth it).

I wonder, everyday after I drop him off, what his days are like as a 2-year-old in -- what many of us parents of the daycare call -- "The Happy Bubble". The teachers always give us a brief summary of what and how he did in a day, but I'm more interested in what goes on internally, especially when you have a kid who rarely acts up like mine.

I mean, I know the set schedule:

8:30 - 10:30 drop-off & free play
10:30 - 11:00 snack time
11:00 - 11:30 group time
11:30 - 12:30 play outside/go for a walk on campus
12:30 - 1:30 lunch
1:30 - 3:30 nap
3:30 - 4:00 snack
4:00 - 4:30 outside time and pick-up

But what does he think about during those activities? Who does he see as his friends? How does he see the other kids? Are there moments when he's so excited that he wants to share with his mommy or daddy right away? How does he deal with fear or frustration?

We ask how his day is every day on the way home, but what he's able to tell us is still very limited: "Play [with] Jack." "Drive Aiden car." Plus, like I said, this is a kid who always seems happy, so everyday is a good day for him. However, we know he has strong feelings towards some of his classmates. For instance, we know he seems to like this little girl Maggie because his voice softens and there's always a sly little smile on his face when he mentions her name. We know he's still working things out or trying to figure out this humongous kid Jack who is currently going through a phase of making sense of his physical strengths. We know Jack sometimes frightens Kai. We know Kai gets uneasy whenever Aiden cries for his mama.

We don't remember things that happened when we were two (unless you're like my husband who 'claims' that he has memories from when he was 2). Chances are, Kai may not remember Maggie or Jack or Aiden when he grows up. But greedy as I am, this is the here and now, and I wish there was a way for me to know how he feels as a 2-year-old, even for just one day.

Trust me, I've done my fair share of research on the intellectual, emotional, social, physical, and cognitive developments of a 2-year-old, but after a while, those are just words that blend together without any significance.

Let me explain with an example.

Today when I went to pick Kai up, the first thing Tess said to me was, "Kai had a great day. He's been getting lots of love from all the girls, especially from Maggie." I chuckled and told Tess that I think Kai has a little crush on Maggie. Tess then reported, "Well, that explains then. This morning, Maggie held Kai's face in her hands, and at first I thought Kai may not like it 'cause you know how sometimes kids don't like to be touched a certain way. When I went over to ask Kai if it was okay for Maggie to do that to him, he was just standing there smiling at her."

It's moments like that that I wish I could know what was going through his mind because, let's face it, we very often underestimate what a 2-year-old is capable of. Yet we see evidence of keen awareness and complex thought process all the time in our daily interactions. I mean, it blows my mind every time Kai negotiates with me with his limited linguistic abilities. It puts a smile on my face when I'm trying to outsmart him and he looks at me a certain way as if saying, "I know what you're trying to do, Mommy, but I'm not gonna budge." Or... the best one is when he does something painfully cute, and you can tell that he knows he's being cute and totally milking it right in front of your eyes.

I guess I've lost track of what I originally was gonna write about. Oh well, I'll use this post to remind myself to never underestimate how much this little guy understands and experiences. To remind myself to always take my children seriously, even when it seems juvenile and silly. 'Cause even when they're only 2 or 5 or 13, their feelings are just as powerful and valid as yours or mine. A child's feelings need to be handled with care 'cause, unlike you or me -- the jaded bitter adults that we are at times, they haven't had enough experience in the rough and tumble with the inevitable hurts and disappointments in life to develop a layer of tough skin yet. Everything is raw and tender. While some may think it's okay because kids won't remember much from this period of their lives, every experience creates a neural pathway in their brains and THAT will stay with them for the rest of their lives.

Geek out.

More Funny Things Our 2-year-old Did

2011-10-17T06:29:00.000-07:00

-- Toys are real

"MCQUEEN! MCQUEEN!" Kai threw his arms out, palms facing up, "Where McQueen go?"

When he found his Lightning McQueen stuffed car under the coffee table, he got down on the floor, "What da matter, McQueen?"

Kai was getting out of bed and his toy leopard was in the way, "[Ex]cuse me, Spots. Kaikai geddup! Spots stay."

-- All about Mr. Crocodile

Kai took interest in a crocodile finger puppet all of a sudden. He carried it on his index finger around the house shouting, "Daddy, Look! A big crocodile!!"

Later that morning, Kai named it Mr. Crocodile. He brought it to breakfast, "Look, Mr. Crocodile. This is Kaikai's Cheeyoyo (Cheerio). This Kaikai's milk!"

Then he wanted to watch "aminals", so we turned on the TV and happened to catch a show about crocodiles on Oasis. When a zebra escaped from a croc's jaw and its snout was bleeding, Kai said, "Zebra ouchy. Zebra need BandAid." A few minutes later, he climbed over to me on the couch, cupped my face with his little hands and said with all seriousness, "Crocodile not nice. Zebra bite ouchy."

Later that day, we noticed he was referring to himself as Mr. Crocodile. "Mr. Crocodile hungry, Mommy."
"What would Mr. Crocodile like?"
"Mr. Crocodile want some milk. Kaikai love.... Mmm... Mr. Crocodile love milk."
"I see."

-- I may be only 2, but I know this much

Took Kai for a long walk on a beautiful autumn day. We came to a crosswalk and, before I could say anything, Kai stopped and said, "Look. Cars? Nope! Let's go, Mommy. Fast!"

As we were walking, Kai sometimes wanted to go into other people's yards. Each time I stopped him by telling him, "We can't just go to other's people's house." The last time I stopped him, Kai said in this "I know. I know" kind of way, "Not Kaikai's house."

We met 3 sisters and their mom on the playground. The girls were significantly older (the youngest is 6), so they weren't interested in playing with Kai. When Kai heard sirens in a distance, he shouted excitedly, "Fire truck!" One of the girls said to her sisters, "How can he know it's a fire truck? It could be an ambulance." All the girls giggled. Kai looked at them from the sandbox and said loudly, "Fire truck [made his fire truck sound]. Abebe [made his ambulance sound]. And police car [made his police car sound]." Then in a "I rest my case" tone, Kai concluded, "Fire truck!"

Birthing Options & My Womanhood

2011-10-16T04:53:00.000-07:00

We're currently waiting for a detailed report on the C-Section (Kai's birth) from Dr. Liu. Dr. Sanders, the obstetrician we went to see about a week ago, could not make an educated decision on how I should deliver Baby #2 until he learns what went on the last time I was cut open.

Originally I had thought maybe I could attempt natural birth, but after the consultation, I started leaning more toward an elective C-Section.

A few factors are at play here. First, every surgery brings along a certain extent of adhesion. After my very first surgery, for instance, a section (approx. 10 cm) of my small bowel had to be removed because it was adhered to the abdominal wall. Because of this, the second-look surgery was 7 hours long. Dr. Sanders' concern is that, if we decide to attempt vaginal birth and later have to have an emergency C-Section, the possibility of having to deal with adhesion before they can get to the baby may prolong the process, which may put the baby in danger since I will have already gone into labor, which also means the baby will be under stress.

The second factor to consider is what we should do to ensure cancer doesn't return. Since we have agreed that this is the last baby we'll have, suggestion from various doctors is to take everything out. If we are going to take everything out, we might as well choose to have a C-Section so we can kill two birds at once.

But are we going to take everything out?

My husband, a typical man, asked what's gonna happen to my (lack of) sex drive after losing both of my ovaries. He worries if this would signify the end of our sex life. I, on the other hand, cry over what it means to me to lose the ovary that survived cancer and changed our lives and what it means to lose my womanhood completely at the tender age of 40.

A side note: It's really very silly that I have such strong feelings and attachment to an ovary. I mean, most women go through their entire lives never thinking about theirs or simply hating them for menstrual cramps...... You know what it is......? I shouldn't have named it. It should've been kept to be known as "an ovary" and nothing more.

TOO LATE NOW!

My leftover left ovary... even just typing the name brings back memories of the fears and joys I've experienced in the last five years. It's the ovary that went through chemotherapy and gave us two children, yet it could also be a ticking time bomb that resides in my body. It's the last indicator of my womanhood, yet it could also be a threat to my life. Losing it means a lot more than just losing my sex drive (not that losing my sex drive isn't a big deal on its own already).

Maybe I should change the way I talk and think about it. Maybe instead of taking a victim's role and saying that I'm losing it, I should be more of a go-getter and start saying that I'm getting rid of it. It's a choice after all, not something that just happens to me. I'll give this approach a shot for a while and see if I can change how I feel about it.

My next appointment to discuss my birthing option and the future of my womanhood is November 7.

2011-10-12T20:10:00.000-07:00

The Amazing Things Our 2-year-old Says

The little bossy boss
1. The morning after Steve Jobs' death, I was reading all about him on the Internet. Kai said, "No [com]puter, Mommy. Kaikai ready to school!"

2. At the dinner table, a piece of food was too big for him to eat. One time he said, "Mommy cut it!" Another time he shouted, "Get a knife!"

In the shower, Kai said, "Tell Daddy put the goggles on Kaikai."

Kai's really into making animals sounds now:
"Ryan (Lion) roar. Big ryan, ROAR!!!!! Little ryan, (whisper) roar."

Me: "What sound does a penguin make, Kai?"
Kai, "Penguin... what you doin'?

Kai, "Rhinoceros make?" (What sound does a rhinoceros make?"
Me, "I don't know. Maybe.... ploof ploof ploof?"
Kai, "Nah~~~ rhinoceroses snuff." (This kid tricked me because he has a book that says "rhinoceroses snort and stuff, and little dogs go ruff")

Kai was running around being rambunctious. He stopped right in front of me with the biggest grin on his face and sparkles in his eyes.
He said, "Kaikai crazy!"
I laughed, "You are! Do you like being crazy?"
He answered, "Yup" and ran away giggling like mad.

This is what Kai says when he wants his Daddy to play cars with him:
Kai, "Daddy play cars!"
Then he gets a car and hands it to Bill, "Here you go, Daddy."

Kai, "What Daddy name?"
Bill, "Daddy's name's Bill."
Kai, "Bill. What Mommy name?"
Bill, "Kate."
Kai, "Mommy name Kate."
Bill, "What's your name?"
Kai, "Name Kai."

Kai's teacher told me this:
When Kai woke up from his nap this afternoon, he walked out of the nap room and announced, "Kaikai all done sleeping!"

When Kai woke up in the morning, he was kind of moaning and grunting. I asked, "What's the matter, Kai?" He said, "Kaikai cranky.".

Kai grabbed the house phone from the cradle, brought it to me and said, "Kaikai want call Daddy."

At the end of a meal,
Kai, "All done!"
Me, "What do you say when you're done?"
Kai, "Can I... May I... be [ex]cused?"

Kai, "Kaikai want some milk."
Me, "Can you ask nicely?"
Kai, "Can I... want some milk?"
Me, "... and?"
Kai, "Please?"

In the bath, Bill let the water out so he could rinse the bubble off.
Kai, "Little bit cold."
Bill, "Is it a little bit cold now that the water's gone?"
Kai, "Daddy turn the water on. Kaikai a little bit cold."

We took out Kai's winter hats from last year. I said, "Let's try this one on." Tried it on and it was a bit too tight. Kai said, "Nah~~~ doesn't fit." ("Nah~~~" is one of his favorite words these days. That, and "Nope.")

Kai's pretend play:

1. McQueen and Mater came face to face on the couch. McQueen says, "Excuse me, Mater." Then Mater gets out of the way for McQueen to continue driving on the couch.

2. A police car bumped an orange car head-on. The orange truck says, "Be nice, police car." The police car replied, "Okay."

3. Kai was playing with some blocks. He says (to himself), "This is helcoter (helicopter)? Nah~~"

-- hard to believe he just turned 2 last month....

Barbies, Princesses, & Peer Pressure

2011-10-08T04:12:00.000-07:00

In the waiting room of an obstetrician's office this afternoon, I checked off "change in stress" under "Current Health Condition". As I've told a few close female friends (and Bill, of course), knowing that we're having a girl has totally stressed me out.

I've heard about 5-year-old girls refusing to have cake at a birthday party because "cakes make you fat."

I've seen little girls totally obsessed over jewelry, cosmetics, and hair gadgets.

I've heard preschool girls talking about wanting to be "hot".

Then I got an email from a mommy group asking at what age should my daughter be allowed to wear thong underwear, as if that should be on my list of things to teach my child.

Truth be told, I don't want her to play with Barbies or wear princess dresses. I don't want to put makeup on her face or paint her nails when she's clearly too young for those things. I don't want "play dress-up" to be a regular playtime activity. I'm going to try very hard not to use phrases like "You're a doll" or "You're my little princess". Instead, I want to shed light on who she is and what she has accomplished.

(Having me as her mom, she's probably not going to want me to do her hair or her nails 'cause I can hardly do mine without screwing them up somehow)

I'm not a hardcore feminist. I'm just a rookie "mom of a daughter" who's trying to figure things out.

This is what I've come up with for now anyway:
Instead of worrying about my daughter becoming the victim of stereotype and peer pressure, it's more important to equip her with the confidence and wisdom to look beyond the surface and focus on what makes her truly unique and beautiful.

No Two Pregnancies are Alike

2011-09-23T00:59:00.000-07:00

This pregnancy is completely different from the previous one for numerous reasons. The number one reason is that I spend most of my energy and attention on the 2-year-old big brother while trying to balance work and family. Today when someone asked if I had felt any fetal movements, I was totally drawing blank. Truth be told, I haven't had a quiet moment in which I could just sit around for a while and devote 100% of my attention on the little sweet bun in the oven.
Another difference is the care, or should I say lack of care (in comparison), I have received. In retrospect, we were so spoiled by the wonderful Dr. Liu in Taiwan, who went throughout the whole cancer thing with me and was therefore as excited as we were about our pregnancy. We had an ultrasound at every check-up and always went home with one or two pictures of the baby inside. Here in Vancouver, however, I've only gone to 3 prenatal check-ups and only one ultrasound so far.
Then there's the inevitable: things are not as new and exciting the second time around. I'm still practicing the same dietary restrictions as in the first pregnancy: no alcohol, no caffeine, no raw meat or fish, and I always remember to take my vitamins (I've added calcium this time too). However, I'm not reading "What to Expect" nearly as often as I did, and I'm not as hyper-sensitive to the changes inside my body. On the one hand, I kind of feel guilty for not being as excited. On the other hand, I kind of enjoy this newfound confidence and calmness as a somewhat seasoned Mommy.
One thing for sure is that I will instantly fall in love with this little heartbreaker when we finally meet, just as I did when Kai was born. She's gonna be quite a character who will have her parents and big brother wrapped around her tiny finger. I can totally see that already.
Hope you're ready, World! =)

The House of Raging Hormones

2011-09-22T00:29:00.000-07:00

It is said that a two-year-old experiences the same, if not more, raging hormones as an adolescent. That's why they're so moody, unpredictable, and maddening. It's like clock work for us. Right after we celebrated his second birthday, the toddler plunged into the well-known, less-understood "Terrible Two" period, in which he has had a full-on, whole-body-thrashing meltdown at least once a day.
Lisa warned me about this but, like many other things in parenthood, you never fully understand until you're in the crisis.
The terrible two tamper tantrum is... eye-opening and... a true test of patience and self-control. While I understand intellectually why it happens, emotionally it's so hard to distant myself from taking the rejection to hugs and all those angry "No Mommy"s personally.
Physically... I sometimes feel like I'm stretched so thin that I may just collapse. I am, also, experiencing unpredictable mood swings due to changing hormones.
Poor Bill is stuck in the house of raging hormones.

2011-09-18T01:57:00.000-07:00

Overly Dramatic? Maybe (but I've got to put this down on record)

Dreamt that I was dying the other night. Needless to say, I woke up sobbing like a baby. In the dark, I quickly wrote down what I'd said to Kai in the dream before it slipped away. I told Bill about it the next day, and his comment was, "That's some great materials for a Japanese drama." I don't know if he's ever thought about the possibility of his own death, or even how he and how his loved ones would handle it when the time comes. For me, however, death is something that I'd like to be prepared for. I don't want to kick myself in the butt after I die because I realize that I haven't said or done what I should've said or done when I had the chance. So it may seems a bit overly dramatic at this point (but who can predict when one's gonna die?), here it is:

Ten Things I'd like you to Remember

1. Take care of your body. Nothing's more important than good health.

2. Learn. Try not to lose your curiosity and the desire to know. Education (in different shapes and forms) is important. Ask questions, seek answers, and ask some more questions.

3. Love. Love wholeheartedly, passionately and responsibly (I hope you'll let me know when you have your heart broken).

4. Live. Enjoy life. Take risks, go places, meet people, try different things.

5. Listen to Daddy. Always be respectful, even to the people you don't like.

6. Never borrow money from strangers, and always give back more than you receive.

7. Follow your dreams, but set goals for yourself along the way.

8. Do not be afraid of failure or obstacles. Once you learn/recover from them, they are what makes life more interesting.

9. Make your own decisions and take responsibility for your actions.

10. Know that, no matter what happens or how things turn out, Mommy loves you.

Oh Those "dot dot dot" Moments

2011-09-13T03:38:00.000-07:00

I've been trying to talk to Kai about the new baby, but I haven't had any luck. Earlier today, when I asked him to touch my belly, he poked at it while making a "boink, boink" sound. I said, "Listen to Mommy: Never poke a woman's belly and say 'boink boink'. In fact, never poke or say anything about a woman's belly."
Then I said, "You know who's inside Mommy's belly?"
Kai, "McQueen!"
Me, "Well, McQueen is a car. He's too big to fit into Mommy's belly."
Kai, "Baby jaguar (from Diego)!!"
Me, "Good guessing, Kai. It IS a baby, but not baby jaguar. It's your baby sister."
He stared at me for 10 seconds or so. Then he patted me on the tummy and chuckled, "Heh heh heh. Silly Mommy."
............. He thought I was joking.

After dinner, when we were sitting on the couch reading an Elmo book with Kai, Bill asked me what time it was.
Kai answered, "Two!"
Then Bill asked, "How old are you, Kai?"
Without hesitation, the little man answered, "Thirty-one!"
....... but he can only count to twenty.

Kai's been asking for a bike for at least 6 months, and we finally got him a strider for his second birthday. With the bike, we also bought a helmet and a bell.
Bill, "Kai, when you ride the bike, you have to put on the..."
Kai interrupted, "Seatbelt!"
..........

This morning, Kai was pushing his bike around the house, and he fell down as he was trying to make the corner around the kitchen counter. His chin hit the handle bar and blood was coming out of his mouth. He cried but not for long. The bleeding also stopped very quickly, leaving only a small red mark at the sight of impact on his chin.
On the way to school, I asked Kai if he was going to tell teacher Tess about his new bike. Kai answered, "Kaikai driving bicycle. Bonked chin. Kaikai crying. Hurted chin. Ouchy."
............. What a good story teller!

This has happened numerous times now. When Kai's in the car, sometimes when we ask what he'd like to do today, he'd say, "Drive! Kaikai driving fast. Like McQueen. Ka-chow!"
............ We're definitely hiding the car keys.

Happy Second Birthday, Love

2011-09-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

There's a part of me that feels like you turned two a while ago because, judging from the way you look, act, and talk, most people (teachers at the daycare, random strangers you greeted to in public places, etc) have always said, "Two and a half?" when they guessed how old you were. Yet today is actually the day you officially turn two.

Considering how young you are, you've got a lot of character. You're so loving and giving. My heart melts every time you suddenly wrap your arms around my neck, lean your head against mine and say, "Mommmmyyyyy~~~~" when I'm helping you put on your shoes. Daddy crowned you "The best Hugger" because, at the end of the day, your heart-felt squeezes are what makes everything we do worthwhile.
You have the softest heart kindest soul. You cried when Mei (from Totoro) went missing, and you were worried when Nemo pretended to be dead to fool the dentist's niece. When Aiden (your daycare friend) was crying and looking for his mama, you looked up at me with those big loving eyes, "Aiden crying. Aiden okay?"
Your abundant imagination blows us away. We love watching you play: lining all your cars up one after another, pushing them forward and calling it a train; putting finger puppets on the steering wheel of your push-n-ride and "driving to a park"; and parking one car at each hole on your golf course because the cars were "playing golf".
Happy birthday, my love. Today, we celebrate YOU.

2011-07-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

LIFE! You've done it again

Because of the sequences of events in my life, sometimes I feel like my life is scripted. That, or I was born to write a book (or more) about me.

This is one of those moments when I went, "You've GOT TO be kidding me, right?!"

Bill and I were talking at the dinner table. The TV was on. I wasn't really paying attention to the TV until I heard something about ovarian cancer in the distance. It was a commercial about ovarian cancer, the need for early detection tests, and how those tests could save lives. My eyes glued to the commercial, and I hushed Bill with a waving hand. The last scene of the commercial:

September 11th is the Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope

I started weeping almost immediately. Bill wrapped his arms around me and asked gently (while trying very hard not to burst out laughing), "Do you want to go?" All I was able to mutter was, "... and it's on Kai's birthday...."

Tell me I'm not crazy. It can't get any more meaningful than this, can it?! The Annual Ovarian Cancer Walk of Hope in Canada takes place on September 11th, the day my miracle baby was born after battling and surviving ovarian cancer. And the symbol of the Walk is a Sunflower, my favorite flower.

This has to mean something. For one thing, at least now Kai's birthday is not only associated with the 2001 terrorist attack in the US. There's something bright and happy happening on that day as well.

Today, I received an email from a woman named Karen:

Hi Kate:

We recently received a lovely email from your husband Bill about your journey with ovarian cancer and he was mentioning you are considering attending the walk in Vancouver on September 11^th. Your story is so inspirational and we were wondering if you would be interested in sharing your story in our monthly publication “Seeds” - a publication that is distributed across the country to women and their families who are either survivors or who are currently battling ovarian cancer.

Our walk scheduled for September 11^th at Queen Elizabeth Park in Vancouver is an amazing opportunity for women and their families to get together to raise necessary funds for our charity but also an amazing experience for them to meet others who have been on this journey. Kate, please let me know if you are interested in sharing your story of hope! Thank you to your lovely husband for sharing your family’s experience. I look forward to hearing from you. Have a fantastic day!

I told her I'd be honoured to share my story and that I'm so happy that I caught that commercial because, after all these years, I finally feel like I've found a place where the people truly understand what I've been through. I finally feel a sense of purpose and belonging.

I can finally do something for others.

2011-07-11T02:29:00.001-07:00

ABC 123 and the Mechanic

If it weren't because Bill told me that he had re-read my last post tonight, I probably wouldn't have noticed how much time has passed since I last blogged. Well, juggling a changing work schedule and life with a toddler leaves both Bill and me no time for ourselves or each other. What's worse, the recent changes in our lives make it impossible for me to stay up past 9pm or for Bill to be in bed before 1am.

I'm blogging now at 2:33am. I got up to go to the bathroom and have a late-night bowl of cereal.

Hey, as I peeked at the time on the right-hand bottom corner of my screen, I noticed something else: It's July 11th. Kai's 22 month old today.

Oh.... what can I say about the little boy's recent development?! He amazes us each and every day with the new things he has learned, new words he can say, and new facial expressions he comes up with. The boy learns so fast that Bill and I realized we only have to say or show him something ONCE, and he's got it. For instance, his new favorite thing is to use his toy screwdriver to fix his toy cars. He has only seen his father using the screwdriver once or twice (and never on or around a car). Like a mechanic, the boy knows you gotta "turn, turn, turn" the screwdriver when you fix the car. He tries every hole and knot; everything that looks "turnable". He says, "All done" or "Better" after he finishes fixing it. This evening, when he was showing my mom how he fixes his car via Skype, he actually said, "Mommy. Try" after he turned his push car upright, and as soon as I pushed the car back and forth a couple times, he looked directly at "wai pou" and said, "Good job" and started clapping (Nope! The boy ain't shy when it comes time to acknowledge his achievements either).

Another amazing and amusing thing he has started doing quite frequently is singing. He loves the ABC song, and he brightens up whenever he hears it. He can't quite "catch up" when you sing it to him yet, but he knows a few words here and there: ABCD... JK...QR...W...now I now I...me. Aside from trying to sing the song, he has also taken an interest in learning to recognize the alphabet. So far, he has consistent success in recognizing P and U; all the other ones are a hit-or-miss. On the other hand, his numbers are growing by leap and bounds. He now counts like this: one, two, three, five, seven, nine, ten, eveven, twelf, dirteen, (sometimes fourteen), fiveteen, (sometimes any of these numbers in between), twenty, twenty-one, twenty-two, twenty-three. We don't know why he seems to prefer odd numbers, but what do we care?! Our not-even-two-years-old son is able to count to 23 on his own!!! The funniest thing is when he tries to count fast. I can tell he wants to go from 1-10, but he hasn't seemed to be able to get beyond 5. My guess is it's because 7 is the only bisyllabic word in the bunch. It's easy to go 1235 or even the 9 and 10, once he gets over that hump of having to say two syllable in the same amount of time he'd use to say one.

His interest in singing and this blip in counting show that he has perceptually mastered the rhythm of English and is now getting a shot at producing it. Every time he sings and counts is his articulatory muscles getting a work-out. It's a beautiful sight, for me in particular, as I understand the complex and intricate mechanics of the brain, nerves, and muscles in language production.

Life with a toddler is busy and action-packed, but we both love watching and discovering what he's come up with next so much that we both have a hard time imagining spending time away from him (like when he goes to daycare). If he's learning this much this fast when he's only spending time with his parents, imagine the stuff he'll say or do when he's got all the other kids and much much more toys and books to play with at the daycare?! ::shudder::

2011-06-21T21:30:00.001-07:00

An Eventful and Memorable Weekend

I'm exhausted. We all are. Good thing life goes on no matter what and this, too, shall pass.

We had it all planned out: we had friends coming up from Seattle and friends visiting all the way from Taiwan. It was a perfect opportunity for all of us to get together in our big new place. We were having a Bill's birthday/Father's Day/Reunion/House-Warming party on Saturday. We planned to take our house guests to "Car-Free Day on Main" on Sunday. Then after they went back to Seattle, the three of us were going to take a little family trip to Sunshine Coast. I had a bit of cold since Thursday, but I didn't care. I wasn't gonna let a few sniffles stop me.

Well, on Friday, Bill said instead of going to Sunshine Coast, maybe each of us could take a personal day and the other person could watch Kai. No family trip. Then the weather forecast called for rain all day Saturday -- the day of the BBQ. A few hours before Bill was going to the train station to pick up our first house guest, we were frantically getting the house ready. Then Bill went out to pick up the house guest. The train was delayed, so they came home later than expected. At 2 in the morning, we discovered that Kai was burning hot as a furnace.

Nothing a little children's Tylenol and a good night sleep can't fix, so we thought.

Saturday morning we woke up to the depressing non-stop-drilling Pacific Northwest rain, and we noticed the red spots on Kai's tummy. Called the Health Line and the nurse suggested that we wait and observe him further. We spent the day (still) getting the house ready. We were cutting it so close I didn't even have a chance to change my clothes before the guests arrived (ssshhhhh...). The BBQ, I must say, was a success! Everyone had fun and the food was great. The only person that was "out of character" was Kai. His rash spread to his legs and his fever spiked. He so wanted to play with Edie and Jordy, but he simply did not have the energy to do so.

After the BBQ was put away in the garage and leftover food in the fridge, I took Kai to bed. Bill and a few friends stayed up to play a board game in the basement until shortly after midnight. When he came into the bedroom, we noticed Kai's fever was at 40.1C and his rash was spreading to his back and arms. We spent a few minutes looking things up on the Internet, but everything we read sounded serious and scary. At 12:30, we decided to to go the ER. Then began a long difficult night for all three of us.

Long story short, the doctors and nurses poked and prod Kai throughout the seven hours that we were there for different tests. The nurse who came to draw blood couldn't find a vein, and I tell ya, regular swear words just weren't enough to express how I felt as I watched how incompetent she was. Bill said he felt me pulling Kai's legs toward me as if I was going to, at any moment, snatch Kai away from this torturous process. Then since she couldn't get enough blood for two tests, she had to get some from a finger tip. I couldn't see exactly what she was doing, but it felt like she was slashing Kai's flesh open repeatedly. How could getting a bit of blood from a finger tip take as long as it did?!?! So frustrating!

For the urine test, they first put a bag around Kai's penis to collect urine. Might have felt a bit weird, but nothing to it. Then they came back saying that they needed "clean" (uncontaminated) urine, so someone was coming to... (get ready for this): INSERT A CATHETER INTO KAI'S PENIS TO COLLECT URINE DIRECTLY FROM HIS BLADDER. Bill was in the bathroom when the intern came in to tell me what they were planning to do, and I gotta say, I felt dizzy while listening to her explain how the procedure was done. "Are you gonna apply local anesthesia?" I muttered. "Oh, I'm sure the nurse will put some numbing gel on the catheter, so it'll freeze the nerves as it goes into your son's penis," the intern answered a little too cheerfully. My stomach tightened, and I wanted to punch her right in the nose. I even visualized it. Oh, I did and it made me feel better.

Turned out, Kai is a person with a lot more courage and grace than his mother. Despite all the torture he experienced in one night, he managed to say "Thank you" and "Bye-bye" to the nurses and doctors as we were (finally) leaving the ER. I couldn't even look at their faces without reliving the uncomfortable moments Kai had to go through that night.

2011-06-09T22:52:00.000-07:00

1. 2. 1. 2. 3. 4.

If memory serves me correctly, the first time I heard Kai counting from 1 to 10 in the correct order in English was back at the end of May. As proud and stunned as I was, I managed to keep a somewhat practical perspective on the whole thing. I thought it was probably just a fluke -- a one-time occurrence.

Same as when he counted 1 - 5 in Spanish...

... and 1 to 10 in Chinese...

Today, as Kai and I were taking a walk around our new neighborhood, I started counting our steps to keep him entertained.

Kate: 1. 2. 1. 2. 3. 4. 1. 2. 1. 2. 3. 4. 1...
Kai: 2.
Kate: 3.
Kai 4.
Kate: 5.
Kai: 6.
Kate: 7.
Kai: 8.
Kate: 9.
Kai: 10.
Kate: Yay!
Kai: Yi (1 in Chinese)
Kate: Er.
Kai: San.
Kate: Se.
..... you got the idea.

2011-06-07T22:22:00.000-07:00

This is William Kai Martin

-- a kid who invents his own games and challenges you to figure out how to play these games

-- an introvert who prefers to observe all that is around him at first whenever he's in an unfamiliar environment

-- an extrovert who is capable of making those who meet him for the first time feel very special

-- an enthusiastic helper who would get angry if you refuse his offer to help (sweeping, vacuuming, moving heavy objects, doing the laundry, doing the dishes, putting stuff on the conveyer belt at the super market, giving your credit card to the next person in line, you name it)

-- a fast learner who knows how to count from one to 10 in English and to 5 in both Chinese and Spanish, in the correct order

-- a linguist who is able to give an answer in Chinese to a question I ask in English... and vice versa

-- a comedian who enjoys a good laugh and making people laugh (i.e., putting on Mommy's sunglasses upside-down on his face). He also makes sure you know it's funny by looking you in the eyes and saying, "Funny!" (as in, "Funny, right?!")

-- a social butterfly who asks his dad to help him call his friends ("Call Jordy", "Call Gemma")

-- a friendly host who makes sure the guests to our house are thoroughly entertained by constantly passing beer bottles to their rightful owners and telling them to "Drink!"

-- a loyal hockey fan who shouts "We Won" every time the game is on

-- a natural politician who says "hi" and "bye" to strangers and is very good at remember people's names

-- an avid photographer who enjoys playing with Mommy's camera and, more importantly, loves looking at pictures and watching videos of himself

-- a narcissist who loves checking himself out and acting in front of the mirror... and he'd ask you to get the camera when he thinks it's a photo op

-- a natural flirt... need I say more?

-- a talented musician who's obviously got rhythm

-- a passionate dancer who dances until he drops... literally... because he gets dizzy from spinning in circles

-- a copycat who'd imitate you because he's a curious almost-2-year-old AND to make fun of you

-- an expressive actor whose face and body language show ten times the emotion he's actually feeling

-- a sly stinker who knows to crank up his charm right before his parents realize the trouble he's gotten himself into

-- a bossy perfectionist who insists on other people doing what he wants done his way and has very little tolerance for error

-- a lover who generously gives hugs and kisses when you need them the most (and you are ever so lucky, you may get a "wa-vu" (love you) with a big squeeeeeeeeze

2011-05-23T22:11:00.000-07:00

Never Underestimate the Little People

Ever since my mom arrived, Kai's been getting a lot of Chinese and producing a lot more Chinese than ever before. As a result, I've noticed the typical signs that a child is acquiring and sorting out the two languages in his immediate environment. The first is the occasional confusion and mixing up the languages in his production. He sees a dog in one of his books and he'd say, "Gougou! Puppy! Doggy! Woof woof!!" He sometimes asks for "Gemma" (Bill's mom), "wai-puo" (my mom), and "yi-puo" (my mom's sister) in the same sentence. Another indication that his brain is busy sorting and filing the massive amount of input Kai receives on a daily basis is that, as a very talkative toddler, he has gotten a bit reluctant at times to give an answer, especially after he's been using one language for a while and someone asks him a question in the other language. Nothing to worry about. All this is typical for bilingual children. Their brains will sort things out eventually.

Yesterday, however, Kai did something that blew my mind.

I took him out on a number of short walks because it rained on and off throughout the day and we wanted to get out as soon as the sun came out. We got to the elementary school across the street and Kai immediately started running like crazy. They have what looks like hopscotch squares with numbers in them on the playground. Kai ran over there, bent forward, and started counting, "uno, dos, uno," (exactly the same way he counts in English and Chinese). Obviously he has learned it from watching Dora the Explorer, but if you know us, you know we've been keeping it to one episode each time, and we don't put the show on every day. Moreover, although Dora does intend to "teach" Spanish, the primary (aka dominant) language of the show is, nonetheless, English. I can see older kids picking up Spanish here and there by consciously learning the words, but I was (still am) stunned by the fact that Kai has picked up even as few as two Spanish words (and he knows to use them correctly) from a show that he doesn't really watch all that much or often.

Man.... I wish I were in school now. You see, I was a good researcher when I was working in the "neuroscience in early language acquisition" lab, but I wish I could go back to doing that now. I was in my late 20s when I worked there. The "tests" were fun to run (hooking up babies and toddlers to the machine that recorded their brain functions), but I knew nothing about my "test subjects" then. I now understand (1) why those mothers signed their little ones up for our "tests" (I would) and (2) why the moms always looked as if they weren't sure if they should give us a hug or eat us alive when we were explaining to them the implications of the results. I also think I would have a much better rapport with the moms now. Back then, I was just a research assistant who had just begun a doomed relationship.

Anyway, the point here is that I'm humbled by what a child can do, and I think, as adults, we should treat the little people in our lives with a lot more respect and never underestimate/undermine what they're able to do. I would also like to clarify that it is not recommended that you purposely create an environment which you believe would help realize your child's potential (i.e., a certain dragon mother that we have all, unfortunately, heard about).
Let children be children and learn with them along the way.

I know I'm gonna enjoy growing up with Kai and learning from him.

2011-05-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

Conversations

Dad: Were did you go today, Kai?
Kai: Pigout (playground).
Dad: You went to a playground?
Kai: Mommy!
Dad: Oh, you went to a playground with mommy? Was it fun?
Kai: Funnnn (really stressing the n sound there).

Kai: Bright!
Mom: Yes, it's bright. It's sunny today.
Kai: Shunny.
Mom: Yeah... it's sunny. Wanna go outside and play?
Kai: Play. Ou-shide. Queen (his McQueen beach ball)!
Mom: Yup! McQueen's outside.
Kai: Mikaka (police car).
Mom: Yup! Your police car's out there too.
Kai: Yup! ............ Mao Mao (the name of the neighborhood cat). Meow~~~~~
Mom: Mmm... I don't see Mao Mao out there. Maybe she'll come by later.
Kai: La-ner.

Kai was counting mommy's toes (pointing at a different toe each time): One. Doh. One. Two. Fhree. Eh. (and the last one) Nine! Yay!!!!

Mom: Kai, we have to talk about quitting boob.
Kai (pleased): Boob!
Mom: Yeah... you see, Edie (age 2) doesn't want mommy boob anymore because she's a big girl. Jordy (age 3) doesn't want mommy boob because he's a big boy now!
Kai: Joddy! Izza (Lisa, Jordy's mom)
Mom: Right! Kaikai is also a big boy now, so Kaikai won't need mommy boob anymore. Only babies need mommy boob, you know?!
Kai: ........................................ (thinking about it)
Then he latched on and said (while slurping): Baby. Kaikai.
Mom (rolling her eyes): You're NOT a baby anymore, Kai. Absolutely no more boob when you're two years old, okay? You have 4 more months.
Kai nodded while nursing.
A moment later, he popped up and reemphasized: Baby Kai.

Kai pointed at his blue bucket: Break.
Mom: Yes. That bucket is broken. Daddy will get you a new one.
Kai (still pointing at it): Break....
Mom (tried to distract him by picking up a crab): Hey Kai, What's this?
Kai: Op-pe-pe.
Mom: Op-pe-pe? This is not an op-pe-pe. It's a crab.
Kai: OP-PE-PE!!! (almost in the tone "Mommy, how can you not know this is an op-pe-pe?")
Mom: What's an op-pe-pe?
Kai (totally frustrated): Op-pe-peeeeeeeeeeee!
Mom: I'm sorry. I don't know what an op-pe-pe is!
Kai ran away into the hallway.
A brief moment later, the toddler ran back to the couch and threw his "Magic Fish" bath book on the couch.
Op-pe-pe = octopus
Mom: Oh~~~~ I see. But this is not an octopus. This is a crab.
After dinner, I asked Kai to help me put his toys away. He brought the crab over to me. I was on all fours looking under the couch for the missing puzzle pieces. Kai got down on the floor, grabbed my chin with his hand to make sure I was looking at him, and said dead-seriously, "Crab!"

Daddy heard "gedup! gedup!" early in the morning.
Kai: Gedup (Get up)!
Dad: Morning. Want some breakfast, Kai?
Kai: Cheo (Cheerio)
Dad: Okay, let's have some Cheerio.
Kai: Mommy!
Dad: I think mommy has already left for work.
Kai: Shock-on (Put socks on)
Dad: Okay. Let's get dressed and put your socks on.
Kai: Park!
(The kid was clearly telling his dad what he wanted to do)

Look Who's Talking

2011-05-03T22:33:00.001-07:00

Reduplication
Mokoko = motorcycle
Bykoko = bicycle
Pikaka = police car
Abebe = ambulance
Shaballball = soccer ball
Baballball = basketball
Egogo = Go Diago Go

A few things only his parents understand:
Tem-per-ture = temperature
Ge-bab = get up
Pig-ow = playground
Shock-on = put socks on
Pussil = puzzle
Issa = Lisa
Jody = Jordy
Gemma = grandma
Table = put it on the table
Dowa = Dora the Explorer
Inna = in there
Lanner = (see you) later
Shish = fish
Cookie mon-ner = Cookie Monster
Doobid = stupid (guess where he learnt this one?)
Draket = jacket
Boon = spoon / balloon

English that anyone could understand:
Eat it
Want it
Take it
Put it there
Come on
Come here
Call daddy
Drive/driving
Wheel
Zebra
Monkey
Messy
Chair
Blankie

It's getting more and more difficult to keep up!! Mommy's gotta carry a little notepad around.

What A Weekend

2011-05-02T07:45:00.001-07:00

This is probably the sickest you've ever been since you were born. A stomach flu brought countless loads of smelly laundry, temperatures hovering around 38.5, and endless demand of the breast. The vomiting was hard to watch but at least easy to deal with. The diapers were a totally different story. Each diaper change had to take place in the bathroom by the sink 'cause you need a wipe-down (or a bath in one occasion) afterward.

The stomach flu started at 4:30AM Thursday and lasted through the weekend. Because you were asleep on the breast most of the time, I got to watch A LOT of TV. In fact, at one point, I had a headache because of how much TV-watching I had done.

The silver lining is I got to "witness" two historic events this weekend.

Friday, April 29th was the royal wedding. Prince William married Kate Middleton. Normally a 2-minute segment in the regular news hour would suffice. However, I actually watched almost an hour of CBC's coverage of the wedding: from the dress, the cake, the best and worst dressed list, to how some Canadians were celebrating this day. Oh, let's not forget the, not one but two, kisses on the balcony.

It was a good thing we didn't go ahead and invite people to the "Come Celebrate William and Kate" dinner (not that William and Kate, of course. Your dad and I are William and Kate, too).

By Sunday morning, you were almost back to your old self, but that was when I woke up running to the bathroom. I had my own scene from The Exorcist (brought back memories of the many episodes I had when I was pregnant). While you and Daddy spent part of the morning at Kits Beach, I wrapped myself in a blanket and sat in the backyard. The big orange cat stopped by and hung out for a bit. The little kitty love I got was the highlight of my morning.

Sunday night, around 9, when we were (once again) in front of the TV watching The Simpson's, was when they interrupted all broadcasting to bring the headline "Pres. Obama to Announce Death of Osama bin Laden". Unfortunately, I didn't have enough energy to stay up and watch more coverage on his death. I'm sure they'll play the footage repeatedly for the next few days, just like CTV's Sunday night prime time: "Relive the Magic: William & Kate".

Appy Moments

2011-04-28T00:27:00.000-07:00

Last Saturday, I took you to Kitslano Beach 'cause the forecast said it was one of the warmest days we would have in the next little while, and it turned out to be just perfect for a day at the beach! We got up early, had breakfast, and were out the door by 9AM. Because of the previous few trips down to the beach, I was determined to eliminate the stress and frustration caused by trying to prevent you from jumping into the water. This time, we were totally dressed for it: sun hat, jackets, and most important of all, BOOTS, for both of us! We also brought a change of clothes for after we played in the water. Even before we headed out the door, I had it all planned out from beginning to end. I was very proud of myself 'cause Mommy was so well-prepared you could do whatever you pleased once we got there.

And you did.

You kicked sand around on the beach, invited yourself to destroy one of the towers of the sand castle a 4-year-old Chinese girl was building with her dad, ran fearlessly into the ocean, experimented different ways you could move your feet to create the biggest splash, and threw rocks and shells into the ocean. Except for the couple of times when you were dangerously close to the deeper part of the water, I didn't have to grab you or pull you away. We were so much more relaxed and therefore able to truly enjoy ourselves. As a water lover, you were having the time of your life! After you threw a few rocks into the ocean as we were walking and splashing water around to the next spot, hand in hand, you looked up at me with a huge smile. When I looked down and our eyes met, you said with all seriousness, "Appy!"

My heart ached a bit right before it melted into this pool of warmth that quickly rushed through my entire body.

"Mommy's happy that you're happy, babe," I said, as I tried to remember every detail of that moment. I want to remember it forever: the sound of waves crashing onto the beach, the warmth of your little hand in my hand, the color of the sand in the sun, your squinty eyes and that heart-wrenching smile, and that cute little baby-boyish voice of yours.

Today, when I came home from work, your face lit up and your eyes sparkled when you saw me. You ran toward me going, "Mommy~~~~". Then a string of sounds spilled out of your mouth. You were eager to tell me what you and Daddy did this morning. Once again I captured the moment in my heart and carefully stored it alongside the "appy" moment at the beach.

I want to keep these moment forever in my heart so I can visit them often. After all, these are moments that may never repeat themselves. Our relationship will change and evolve as we both grow older, and we'll accumulate different memories during each phase of your development. I know as you gain independence and self-confidence, there will come a day (sooner than I'd prefer) when you no longer reach up to hold my hand. There may be times when you don't feel excited about me coming home or when there are certain things you'd rather keep to yourself. In fact, there will even be days when you don't even want me around. And I know I'll be okay with that. I'll HAVE TO be okay with that. It's part of growing older... for you and for me.

There will be days when I may be mad at you or I may be hurt by you. There will be moments of weakness when I doubt myself as a mother. It comforts me knowing that I'll have these memories (and many more) to fall back on.

And I hope that, when Mommy cannot be there to come up with ways to make you happy, you'll be able to find your own "appy moment" in whatever you do. I hope that, on days when life seems so rough and happiness is so hard to be found, you'll put on a pair of rain boots, go down to the beach and splash water around. Hopefully that will bring a huge smile to your face. You'll look up into the sky with your squinty eyes and feel "Appy"!

Don't forget to bring a change of clothes.

Managing the Parents

2011-04-22T13:10:00.000-07:00

Hi! Kai here.

I know yesterday my Mommy wrote about how difficult I have become (She thought I was asleep. Silly Mommy... Though my eyes were closed, I knew she was typing on her shone). I thought it's only fair if I got to present my side of the story. To many of you, I may be "only" 19 months old, but even a 19-month-old has his/her own unique preferences and desires. We toddlers are people... only much shorter.

Where do I even begin?!..... Okay! This "saying no to everything" thing. First of all, let's dial down the drama, shall we?! I don't say no to EVERYthing. Mommy said so herself. There are a few things I never say no to. So there!! And whatever I say no to, I believe I have legitimate reasons to do so.

First of all, I don't think I need to sit in the high chair anymore because high chairs are for babies. Like that blonde baby in my Elmo book. I know he's a baby because he still has a bib on. I, on the other hand, am a big boy, so I don't need bibs anymore. Aaand I can say the word "bib" now. That shows I'm not a baby; therefore, I don't need to sit in a high chair. C'mon! I can eat with a shirk or a boon, and I can drink from a cup. I deserve to be sitting on a chair like everyone else. (By the way, "C'mon" is my favorite thing to say these days. Mommy rolls her eyes when I say it, and I think it's so funny)

Then there's the diaper thing. It's such a drag because it often interrupts my play, so I don't want to have it changed unless it's absolutely necessary. And I think I've been helping Mommy by pulling my pants down and saying "diaper" when it's really full. I think Mommy should just chill out and follow my lead. C'mon! I'm 19-month old. I know when my diapers need to be changed.

Last but not least, I know sometimes I get a bit "out of control" when I get frustrated, but I always try to ask nicely first. For example, when I want to watch Dora the Explorer, I say, "Doradoradoradoradoradoraaaaa!!!! Dora!" If Mommy still hasn't put it on, I raise my voice, "Dora! Dora! Doraaaaa!" and may add a little "Yank you~~~~" at the end. If she still doesn't have the remotes in hand by mow, I know it's time to pull out the secret weapon that she cannot say no to: the little high-pitched, sheepish "pweeeeeeez" with a tilted head and a big teethy grin. That's usually enough to penetrate Mommy's pretend armor of steel. She gives in, I get what I want, and everybody's happy.

A message to fellow toddlers: Don't go head-to-head against the parents. They're bigger and stronger, so why bother? Learn their weak point and use that to manage them. When all things fail, it's always worthwhile to try to cute your way through. That's what your chubby cheeks and big eyes are for, so use them well.

Taking It One Day At a Time

2011-04-21T20:57:00.000-07:00

It has begun: the great power struggle between a willful toddler and his equally stubborn mother. It seems a switch was turned one night, and since that day (or night), everything... I mean, e-v-e-r-y l-i-t-t-l-e t-h-i-n-g, has become a struggle with him: getting into the high chair, getting his diaper changed, getting a shirt on AND off, taking something away from him... to name a few. Since the turning of that "I'm a big boy now and I expect to be treated as one" switch, Kai has discovered (and evidently fully enjoys) the power of a simple, affirmative "NO!" The only things he doesn't say "No" to are:

1. Anything that involves water: drinking water, brushing his teeth, washing his hands, taking a bath, out in the rain, puddle-jumping, etc.

2. Anything that involves food: Kai would eat everything that is on his plate, and he'll go after what's on yours. In fact, this boy eats so much I often wonder if he's gonna puke it all out in the middle of the night. Between meals, his favorite snacks are Cheerios, soy dessert (豆花), and fruit.

Unfortunately for his mommy, along with the constant "No! No! No"s also comes the physical response to a request he does not agree to: thrashing around so I can't get a hold of him, planting himself on the floor refusing to get up and move, arching his back when I'm trying to hold onto him, and most agitating of all, any of the actions mentioned earlier in combination with the hitting or kicking.

Argh! It makes me so angry when he hits or kicks me. It's so frustrating 'cause I can't hit/kick him back but explaining why he shouldn't do it or how it hurts me is simply a waste of breath. Kai's too young to understand.

All this means is that, as soon as the little monster falls asleep, I find myself typing these search words: "early childhood development", "discipline issues", "parenting styles" in the dark, hoping to arm myself with enough information so I can form some kind of a game plan for... oh, who knows what he'll be up to tomorrow.

Pwane, Daddy, & Kanina

2011-04-18T01:32:00.000-07:00

Dropped Bill off at the airport this morning for his business trip up and down the State of California. For a brief moment when Bill was saying bye, Kai seemed to understand and got a bit upset about his dad's leaving. On the short drive home, every time Kai said, "Daddy", I told him Daddy's getting on a plane to California.

As soon as I opened the door to the empty house, my throat tightened and my stomach turned. Kai went straight to knocking of the door of his father's office. Argh! I hate it when Bill's away. I become hyper-sensitive to every sound, and my "making sure the doors are locked" routine (i.e., locking and unlocking the doors numerous times) is a red hot OCD branded on my forehead. "Daddy! Daaaaaaaadddyyyy!" Kai was yelling so loudly at the close door that he bent his body forward to squeeze every last breathe out of his little yet powerful lungs.

"Kai," I interjected, "Daddy's on a plane to California, remember? He'll be back later." Kai looked at me with that serious look that often marvels his father and I. A few seconds later, he nodded, "K!"

So we went to play in the backyard. Kai was collecting rocks and kicking Queen around. Queen is his beach ball with Lightning McQueen from "Cars" on it. Then we heard a plane flying overhead. We live 20 minutes from the airport, so Kai gets to point at a "pwane" at least once a day. As this plane glided across the section of the clear blue sky directly above our house, Kai pointed at it and screamed as if it was his very first time seeing an airplane, "Pwane! Daddy!"

Everything blurred as my eyes were flooded by tears. Questions started popping in my head: does he really understand the connection between airplanes and daddy? Is he gonna associate the two from now on? How much does a 19-month-old understand?

Throughout the day, Kai proved that the association was made:
- he has never played with that toy plane as much as he did all day today.
- he was flying his toy plane around, making engine sounds and saying "Daddy".
- he came to me and said, "Daddy. Drive!" Before I could say anything, he "corrected" himself, "Daddy. Pwane!" and went to grab his toy plane.

Then we had a bit of a fallout 'cause I wouldn't let him have a bath until after dinner. He protested by planting himself on the floor right outside the bathroom, crying and yelling, "Bat!" (bath). It took a lot of deep-breathing and tongue-biting, but eventually I managed to get him to sit at the table.

Kai asked to have some mandarin oranges after dinner.
"How 'bout we take a bath after these oranges?" I wanted to let him know I didn't forget my promises.
"Daddy," he said with a mouth full of orange wedges and pointed at the office."
"Daddy's not here. He's in California."
Kai didn't reply. He finished the two mandarin oranges.

He took the plane to the bath tonight. After we washed and rinsed his hair, Kai cheerfully announced, "Done!" it means "Mommy's done bathing me. Now leave me be to play in the water." I stood up to take my contact lenses out and heard him, "Kanina! Kanina!" He was standing in the tub flying the plane.
"Sit down, Kai. You know you're not supposed to stand in the bathtub." I quickly ripped the lens out of my right eye so I could turn around to catch him if necessary.
Kai sat in the tub staring at me. "Pwane..." he said as the plane surged out of the bath water.
"Broom broom!" Kai flew it around in the air.
"Kanina! Kanina! Broom. Broom...... Daddy."

Everything turned blurry again, and it wasn't because I wasn't wearing my contact lenses.

19 Months Here We Go

2011-04-13T15:55:00.001-07:00

New words

Clean (wipe the table with paper towel)
Bright (as soon as we got outside on a sunny day)
Mato = tomatoes
Pato = potatoes
Copper = helicopter
Boobewi = blueberry
Punaway (put away)
Wanni (want it)

Take it
Put it
Eat it/eating
On
Off
Open
Close
Slide
Swing
Pocaca (police car)
Bikoko (bicycle)
Teewee (TV)
Cut
Dir (stir)

yankjuuu (thank you)

pweeeees (please)

A.
Kai was losing patience while I prepared dinner the other night. He was whining and pulling the corner of my shirt down.

Kate: "Okay. Mommy has to put cheese on these 4 turnovers. Then I'm done. Count with Mommy, okay? One."
Kai (cheerfully): "Done!"
Kate: "No, not yet. Two."
Kai (with great excitement): "Done!"
Kate: "I'm sorry, baby. Not yet. Three."
Kai (impatiently): "Donnnnnnnne!"
Kate: "One more and we're..."
Kai (shouting): "DONE!!!!"

B.
While Mommy was watching Top Chef Canada (I'm addicted to the Food Network, by the way), Kai went away for a short while and came back with a spatulas and a pot. He set them on the floor in front of the TV, said "Cooking! Cooking" while stirring in the pot.

C.
Kate: "Okay. Tell me about your day. You and daddy got up. What did you have for breakfast?"
Kai: "Rice!"
Kate: "You had rice?! What did daddy have?"
Kai: "Goggle."
Kate:"Whaaaaat?"
Kai started to giggle as if he purposely gave a ridiculous answer.
Kate: "Then where did you go? Did you go to Oakridge?"
Kai (nodding): "Oakridge."
Kate: "And what did you do there?"
Kai: "Drive!"
Kate: "You drove?! Did you buy anything?"
Kai looked at me like, "Huh?"
Kate: "I see a red car. Did you buy a new car?"
Kai: "Car!"
Kate: "It's a very nice car. Can mommy play with your new car?"
Kai: (dead serious) "NO!"

D.
I was busy chopping stuff up while keeping an eye on what was cooking on the stove when Kai kept saying, "Gaba! Gaba! Gaba!" Without looking at him, I asked, "What's gaba?" only to hear the word repeated back to me all dragged out in the way as if I should know that word 'cause... who doesn't?! "Gaba! Gaba! Gaba!" he continued.
When I finally finished chopping, I saw Kai standing by the garbage bin holding one of the cloth holders from his toy shelf with both hands.
He wanted me to open the garbage bin for him....
Kate: "Are you gonna throw your toys away?"
Kai: "Gabaaaaaaaa!!!!!"
Kate: "I can open the garbage bin for you, but are you going to throw your toys away?"
Kai (nodding): "Open!"
I squatted down and had him look at my face.
Kate: "Do you want to throw your toys away?"
Kai (nodding): "Throw!"
Kate: "Tell you what?! Mommy will show you what I mean, okay?" I took a block from his box of toys, threw it into the garbage bin, and closed it.
Kate: "We threw it away. Now it's gone."
Kai pointed at the garbage bin: "Get it."
Kate: "No, we can't. You wanted to throw it away, so Mommy put it in the garbage. Now it's gone."
Kai stood there holding his box of toys.
Kate: "So? Do you want to throw your toys away?"
Kai: "No!" and took the box of toys into his room.

The "Are You Really Only 18 Months" Moments

2011-04-09T15:06:00.000-07:00

1. Kai standing in front of the TV with a remote in each hand pointing at the screen saying, "On!"

2. I was taking toys off of the coffee table. He ran in, tore a piece off of the roll of toilet paper that was on the coffee table, wiped the snot off of his nose, threw the used toilet paper on the floor, hopped in his push-n-ride, and took off.

3. It was the third time we were reading the book "Trains", and I was going crazy. When we got to the second last page where "the conductor says all abroad", Kai popped off the boob and said, "Gain!" Impatiently, I said, "This will be the laaaaaast time, okay? No more! All done! We sleep after this." Kai nodded, "K!" and latched on. He fell asleep before the conductor could say all abroad.

4. He'd be doing something goofy and telling me, "Cama!" He'd stop what he was doing while I went to fetch the camera and do what he did again while the camera's on. As soon as it's done, he'd come sit in my lap and say, "See!" While viewing, he would say a "oh~~~~" as if he was surprised; he'd bring on his goofy laugh when he sees himself doing something silly; he'd point at and name the people, animals, or objects that were with him.

5. Kai's a natural at slap stick humor. He uses other objects as phones and talks into them. He pretends to lose balance and always makes the announcement, "Fall down" when he... uh, falls down. He walks on tippy-toes and goes, "Dee dee dee", or he wobbles from side to side while making monster sounds. He takes his "shocks" off and puts them on his eyes, "Goggle". He closes one eye and peeps through a Cheerio with the other and days, "Peeka!" He slurps an empty measuring spoon and goes, "Yum!" He uses the same measuring spoon to dig into dirt and smack it around on the ground saying, "Cooking! Cooking" He scribbled on paper and gets upset if you didn't agree when he told you those were "seko" (circle).

Are these normal 18-month-old tricks? I'm very afraid what he's gonna come up with (and worried about what we're gonna do) when he's 2... or 5... or 13!!

Home Alone

2011-04-09T02:48:00.000-07:00

Bill was in Phoenix for 3 days. On the first two days, my aunt came to watch Kai while I was at work. I was hoping to have a play date but everyone's sick (including Kai), so it was just Mommy and Kai all day yesterday. It's been a while since we spent the entire day alone, and we were such rebels! We threw routines and "the schedule" out the window and had a blast.

I'll use the morning as an example.

First off, we slept in. I don't mean waking up 20 minutes or half an hour later than usual. Try TWO HOURS, and the "baby" woke up before the mom!! I woke up to Kai saying "Hhhhhiiiiiii", his nose inches away from mine. Normally I wouldn't care how close his face is to mine, but this kid's been sick. There was a HUGE blob of green snot bubbling in and out of his right nostril. Wasn't something anyone would want to wake up to.

Cleaned his face. Changed his diaper. Then Kai patted the pillow twice and said, "Nai down!"

Whaaaaaat? Aren't you only 18 months old? Are you supposed to be using verb phrases already? And what's with the tone and gesture? Who taught you to pat the pillow?

But he was simply too cute to say no to, so I climbed back into bed. Kai wiggled around to get in some kind of "position". "Nuggle!" he said happily as he settled in with my left arm wrapped sound him.

So we snuggled in bed for another 20 minutes. We spent half the time playing and counting with our fingers and toes. The other half... the boy insisted that I should smell his toes by pushing his little toes into my face! When I turned my face away, he giggled like this was the funniest thing ever!! Such a boy thing to do, and I bet Bill would've giggled with him.

It was after 10 when we finally dragged ourselves to the kitchen. Mom had coffee; Kai had soy milk. Then we shared a bowl of apple cinnamon hot cereal AT THE TABLE. Yup! No high chair. I was too lazy to deal with the possible kicking-and-screaming as I put him in his high chair, so he sat in a chair by himself. And he did such a great job! He had hot cereal all by himself using his green plastic spoon. The usual breakfast time for both of us is no later than 9. We were so hungry that I didn't do much feeding and he didn't waste time playing. Every spoonful went straight into the mouth. Though there were the occasional few drops that landed on the table, it was practically a mess-free breakfast.

Just when everything was going perfectly, Kai twisted his fingers as he was getting down from the chair. I didn't see how it happened 'cause I was putting the dishes in the sink. I heard a whine. Then he came into the kitchen holding out his "twisted" fingers (he put his fingers together and twisted his wrist so his fingers were facing to the side), and said, "Hurt." I sat down to look at his hand, "What happened?" With his eyebrows knotted and the corners of his mouth way down, he said, "Kiss." I kissed his fingers, "Okay?" A big smile blossomed across his face and he ran away to get his ball, "Bedder!"

He pulled this trick numerous times throughout the day. One time I "called him out" after he told me to kiss it:

Kate, "You're fine. You don't need me to to kiss it okay."

Kai, "...... (tilted his head to one side) pweeeeeeeeeezzzzzzz?"

He won... again!

Awesome Moments

2011-04-03T22:47:00.000-07:00

7:56 AM

Mom, "Kai, you wanna go brush brush?"

Kai, "K!" (Okay)

Mom, "Want Mommy to carry you, or you wanna walk by yourself?"

Kai, "Walk!"

Mom, "Okay. Show Mommy where the bathroom is. Which way?"

Kai, "That way!" (pointing out the bedroom door)

Mom, "Alright! Let's go."

Kai, "Go! (walked to the bedroom door) Open! (opened the bedroom door and turned around) Bye! (waved at Bill, who was in bed) Mmmmmbye, babby!"

******************

At the Super Store

Mom, "No, Kai. We're only getting ONE cantaloupe. One!"

Kai (holding out his right index finger), "ONE!"

Mom, "Yes! That's right! What comes after one, Kai?"

Kai (still holding out that index finger), ".... one ........"

Mom, "Remember? One....?"

Kai (with great excitement), "Two!"

Mom, "Good job! That's right! One. Two."

Kai shouted, "Tree!"

*********************

Waiting for a table at a breakfast place

Mom, "Let's do the alphabet."

Kai, "Alfafet."

Mom, "A."

Kai, "A."

We got to E...

Mom, "F."

Kai, "O."

Mom, "F."

Kai, "OPTDooBeeThhhhBiDoo... efffff!"

Conversation with an 18-month-old

2011-03-30T04:05:00.000-07:00

"Do you want some milk?"

"No!"

"Did you poop poop?"

"No!"

"Can you help mommy put your cars away?"

"No!"

"Do you want a puppy?"

"Do!"

"Can mommy have a kiss?"

"No!"

Super Moon & Super Hormones

2011-03-20T14:10:00.000-07:00

The super moon (the closest to Earth in four years, which makes it appear 14% bigger than it usually does) is really messing with my hormones!

I could not stop crying when I was watching the news about the story of the 50 Fukushima heroes who volunteered to stay in the nuclear power plant to eliminate the threat of a global nuclear disaster even though they were well aware that this could cost them their own lives. The daughter of one of these employees told NHK that her father was due to retire this coming October. He was also the first to volunteer to stay at the power plant. After he made the decision, he text-messaged his wife, "I'm afraid I may not be coming home." His wife, who was rescued and placed in a temporary shelter, said she was heart-broken but proud of her husband. Tsk! Here comes the tears again!

Then I cried again when I was watching Oprah: Ultimate Dreams Come True. I only caught the last bit where a single mother of three adopted children worked four jobs to raise her kids and put all of them through college. Her kids are all great people and outstanding students. I mean, her oldest is in medical school on scholarships. Oprah not only sent she and her three children to an ultimate dream vacation to Italy, she paid all her debts off and gave her a year off by paying her her current salary from all four jobs combined for an entire year! My mom is a single mom, and it was hard for her at times even with only one child. Plus, all three of her children were adopted. When asked if she ever considered sending her kids back to the adoption agency after her husband simply walked out on them one day, she lovingly and calmly said, "When you make the decision to become a parent, you're responsible for your children for the rest of your life." So plain and simple, yet so many kids in our society are abandoned or neglected.

Somewhere in the half hour I was watching TV, there was a stupid car commercial, and it got me all misty too.

Evidently I wasn't the only person affected by the super moon. A few other women have also been experiencing some weird stuff. A friend of mine told me that she has been (unusually) grumpy as hell. Another friend said that she had a dream that she was dating Justin Beiber, and he is soooo not her type in more ways than one.

So many things could be connected to the super moon, and we missed the chance to actually see it last night. Oh, speaking of last night... I couldn't finish reading "Guess How Much I Love You" without choking up. Kai asked me to read it (again and again) 3 times, and all 3 times I started sobbing when I read,

"And I love you all the way to the moon... and back."

Damn you, super moon!!

My First "I Wa Duu"

2011-03-19T15:09:00.001-07:00

8:10AM. Saturday, March 19, 2011.

Headline news: Super Moon: Bigger and Brighter

The moment:
Daddy had just left to take Pudding to the groomer's. You saw them off by the sliding door. You looked at me and said quietly, "Daddy..."; your eyebrows knotted. I explained to you that Daddy was taking Pudding to get a bath and asked if you'd like to have some eggs with me. A smile blossomed on your face, and you extended your arms, "Up!" I carried you into the dining room. You squeezed tight and went, "Mmmm..." I squeezed you back and said, "Aw~~ I love you." And we stayed like this for a quiet moment.

Then you let go of me, put your face in front of mine, said, "I wa duu" and gave me another big hug.

Only this time, I couldn't say anything back because tears were streaming down my cheeks and my throat was shut tight so I wouldn't burst out sobbing like a little baby.

I wa duu, too.

The Kaikai Fan Club

2011-03-18T09:40:00.000-07:00

Taking Kai swimming was more exhausting than I had anticipated. This boy doesn't just like water; he was jumping up and down with joy and excitement as soon as he saw the standard-sized pool at the Y.

Within minutes after we got into the pool, Kai wanted his life jacket off. He spent the first five minutes in the water in my arms closely observing the three siblings who were throwing two balls around and jumping in and out of the pool not too far away from us. After he became more comfortable, Kai started pushing me away and wanted to "swim" to the side of the pool where the kids (and balls) were. Thinking that he might want one of those balls, I helped Kai to the side, and he immediately started trying to climb out of the pool: he wanted to jump into the water like those kids! The youngest sibling is about to turn 3, and all of them are independent swimmers! But one-and-a-half-year-old Mr. William Kai "Ballsy" Martin believed he could be just like the boy twice his age... if only his Mommy would just let go of him.

When he was not busy trying to climb out of the pool, Kai used my thighs as springboards to launch himself forward. Even when he ended up face-planting straight into the water, he giggled and coughed, wiped water off his face and shouted, "gain!" (again)

Since Kai was the youngest in the pool, I was well aware and glad that we had the life guards' attention. The life guards absolutely adored Kai simply because he was so happy in the water, and I wouldn't be surprised if many of the life guards were exactly like him when they were his age. That, and the fact that Kai is just adorable, especially in his awesome skull and cross bones swim trunk.

Anyway, different life guards would interact with Kai in different ways when they walked by. One threw a ball at him, while the other squirted water out of a plastic yellow duck. Kai, however, seemed only interested in one dark-haired life guard. When she came over to tell me that Kai may be able to benefit from their young swimmers class (aged 3 to 5) as long as a parent is present, Kai started kicking hard and shouted, "Paddle! Paddle!" That's one of the words I use with him in the bath. How did Kai know that was an appropriate moment to use it? I guess the little boy understood what we were talking about and really wanted to impress the dark-haired life guard. Well, he made a lasting impression on pretty much every adult in the pool.

Right before we were about to leave, a mom with her 14-month-old son came to the pool. Kai had his eyes licked on the little boy as soon as they entered, murmuring to himself, "Boy. Boy. Baby." The mom took the boy into the pool, and we naturally gravitated toward one another. The Mom explained that it was the boy's first time ever swimming and they were both very nervous. She wasn't even done articulating the final -s in "nervous" when Kai all of a sudden slapped water with his hand, splashing all over the boy's face. It was one of those slow-mo moments when I saw the shock on that little boy's big blue eyes and pale face. Right next to it, there was my own son dipping his face in and out of water, giggling and shouting, "Water! Water!" with that slightly crazy look in his eyes.

So I grabbed Kai's hand and explained, "Kai, he's nervous, so you have to be gentle, okay? Don't splash water on him." As if an internal switch was turned, Kai became all serious. He softly said, "Niiiiiice." while gently stroking the boy's hair with the same hand he used to splash water on him. Kai was treating the boy the same way he treats small animals.

On the way out of the Y, Kai said "bye" to everyone we saw. The receptionists at the frint counter were all melting when he gave them that signature Kai look from under the eyebrows and flirtatiously said, "Bye~~~". A boss-looking older gentleman (maybe he's the supervisor) said to me, "Watch out for this little guy. I think he just got his own fan club."

2011-03-11T13:50:00.000-08:00

18 Months Old Today

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.... and how we LOVE the "puter"!!

I woke up before dawn this morning and was looking at all the picture of Kai that I have posted on Facebook. I revisited Bill's posts about his birth and all the comments from friends and family. I don't remember much of that day, but I certainly remember the intensity of instant love and warmth I felt as soon as Bill handed him to me. The intensity never went away, and it is sometimes overwhelming. I love this little guy so much that I have to kiss and squeeze him more than once each day, and I'm sure I'd throw myself in front of him if that would keep him out of danger.

18 months. A 'milestone" in child development terms, but to me every new challenge we've faced and problem we've solved was a milestone: cleaning his umbilical cord stump (that was gross, man), learning to bathe him and wash his hair, clipping his nails, changing the countless diapers (though I have a feeling the end is near for this one), dealing with gas pangs, teething pain, stuffy nose, baby acne and diaper rash, buying clothes, knowing what size of shoes he should wear, preparing food, handling temper tantrums and now engaging in "the battle of will". As a baby, Kai has certainly come a long way. As parents, I think Bill will agree, we have learned so much about our past, our parents, ourselves and the other person. I've come to the realization that parenting is a never-ending learning experience, and I'm really excited about it. It's almost like I get to experience childhood again only this time... with a bit more knowledge of the road bumps ahead.

(drifted off to the future far far away from now)

Happy 18 month birthday, Kai!!

The Amazing Toddler

2011-03-07T23:48:00.001-08:00

These all happened in one day:

1. Kai repeated "wa-vuu" (love you) as I was heading out for work.

2. Bill took Kai to Langara Daycare, and the teachers were all very impressed by Kai. They said he was independent, confident, happy, cheerful, adorable, ready for daycare, a perfect candidate, and a natural sharer.

3. Kai wants to try everything on the table at mealtime, and he seems to like spicy food as well.

4. Bill, "How old are you, Kai?" Kai looked at his father with this "I've never heard this question before" look. Bill answered, "One..." Kai, "Two!"

5. We were playing with his cars after dinner. Kai put two cars on the floor, jumped up, and said, "Two!" I smiled and said, "That's right! You have two cars. Look! One, two,...." Kai threw another car down and said, "Tree!" I was absolutely thrilled. That was the first time I'd heard him count to three, so I asked again, "How many cars do you have, Kai? How many?" Kai said, "Three!" This little guy corrected his own pronunciation.

6. For the very first time, Kai called my mom 外婆 (pronounced "wai puo", which means maternal grandmother in Chinese) with perfect pronunciation and tones. He also showed off "dancing while playing the piano" and blew kisses at my mom during our hour-long Skype conversation today.He totally made my mom's day!

7. At bath time, Kai has started to show interest in making swimming moves. He tried getting me to support his upper body while he peddled with his legs yesterday; and today, he leaned backward (with my hand behind his head) until only his face was above the water line. He has tried to put his face in the water before, but he hasn't done it again in a while. Maybe it's time to visit the pool at the Y.

8. Evidently, Kai knows how to roll up his sleeve before he washes his hands, and afterward he insisted on pulling them down.... all the way down.

Glimpse of the Future Kai

2011-03-07T02:06:00.000-08:00

We were in the car on a Sunday morning drive when I playfully asked, "What does a cow say, Kai?" There was brief silence, and then we heard this excited "Mew Mew!" We laughed and corrected him. "Moo~, Kai. A cow says moo. A kitty says mew."

Later this afternoon I nonchalantly asked the same question when Kai drove his car into the dining room. This time there was no hesitation, "Moo~" the toddler answered while checking out which button makes Buzz Lightyear move, as if he has known the answer and had dialogues like this with me all his life.

I feel silly to be so blown away by the kind of things Kai's able to do now, but I constantly find myself stunned and wanting to freeze a moment just so I'd have more time to treasure and process it. Moments like when he answers a question, expresses his desires, or simply plays by himself. Playing by himself!! That's something I enjoy and am still getting used to.

The "answering mom's question while checking out how his car works" was also one of those moments. I watched as Kai purposefully and systematically pressed one of the three buttons on "the dashboard" of his push-n-ride and stood up immediately after so he could see if it made Buzz Lightyear, who is at the front of the ride, move. He had that look of intensity and concentration that his father and I love so much. For a brief moment, I got a glimpse of what he's like when he's older: handsome, confident, smart, independent, strong-willed, opinionated, and articulate. Along the way, he's gonna push the limits and drive us crazy, but I'm also confident that, as long as we keep communication open and frequent, we'll be able to discuss things and work them out.

Until then, I'm gonna enjoy this brief period of time when I do most of the questioning as I'm fully aware of what's in store for us in the near future.

2011-03-05T10:37:00.000-08:00

Leaps and Bounds before the 18th Month

These are the amazing things that Kai has done/been doing in the last few weeks:

new words: pwane (plane), tree, boy, girl, pya-no (piano), water (as opposed to wawa), whork (fork), boon (spoon), shock (sock), bra-bra (brush), milk, waffle, crackah (cracker), Chee-o (Cheerio), cookie, towel, mokoko (motorcycle), weady (ready), drive, siong (phone), book, monkey, Almo, boob, table, puter (computer), button, I-da (Lisa), poos (soup), toot, good, food, eat, read, cook, helpy (helping), heppy (heavy), sheet (sit), ro (robe), shower, up, kiwi, orange, bu-bwewi (blueberries), appu (apple), puddle, yum, yucky, and MORE (the word).

has started using phrases, as opposed to only words in isolation. For instance, he says, "Lie down", "Sit here", "Chair. Sit", "Book. Read", "Go, daddy", "Mammy, up", "Weady.... Go", and "Go away".

understands simple commands such as "pick up something", "bring something to someone", and "help someone do something". Also, he's able to answer yes/no questions with gesture or words.

is able to make inferences. For example, he looks at a picture of a rice cooker and says "Rice". When I told him he had to put socks on, he said, "Cold."

has learned a few more words in Chinese though his pronunciation and tones are hideous: socks (蛙瓦), nose (逼祖), turtle (烏鬼), rabbit (兔祖), wipe (塌塌), wait (ㄉㄣㄉㄣ), towel (卯ㄉ一ㄣ), go out (出處), and (strange but not totally surprising) Kafka.

understands perfectly what I'm saying in Chinese but not always produce words in Chinese (must work on that).

has started to recite the ABCs and 123s. One afternoon, after he played with the Winnie the Pooh alphabet books, Kai walked out of the living room saying, "A." While picking up those books, I answered, "B" and heard Kai finishing it with "C! D!" from the hallway. Numbers in English are all over the place though. Kai knows the number 2 because he always announces with great enthusiasm whenever he has two things in his hands. I haven't heard him say 1, but he has answered 3 when I counted 1 and 2. We've heard Kai say 7 and 8 in Chinese after a toy counted 1-6. Kai would, however, repeat numbers in Chinese whenever we count. He counted 8, 1, 5, 10, and 7 with me once, and I could only assume it was because 2, 3, 4, and 6 are too tricky to pronounce for a 17-month-old.

loves helping around the house and takes pride in his achievements (good for mommy and daddy). I think he has assumed a few things to be Kai's duties. For instance, he has to help me carry the laundry basket back to the bedroom when it's done. He gets upset if I don't ask/want him to help. Also, I must let him put two cups of dog food in Pudding's bowl every morning. When Pudding finishes eating, Kai has to be the one who brings the empty bowl to me to wash.

loves reading. He brings us to his room to read to him, and he has to choose the books he wants to read before bed. He has a few favorites, but his favorites change every week as well. Oh yeah... and he started saying "Again" when he's not quite ready to put the book away.

is able to "finish the sentence" or anticipate what happens next when reading a familiar book. For example, from the Belly Button book, if I read, "This tiny hippopotamus has something small to say. If we're very quiet now, we'll hear it right away." Kai, "Beebo." In the Chinese story of 7 baby sheep, whenever I read to the part when the big bad wolf is about to come knocking on the door, Kai would make a fist and "knock on the door" on the book. He growls when he sees a picture of a lion/tiger and says either "mao" or kitty when he sees a cat.

At about a week short of being 18 months old, this little guy says "hi" to strangers and says "here" when he hands something to you. When he wants your attention, he puts his face right in front of your face and says "Hhhhiiiiii". He dances to music and loves playing the piano (so he dances while playing the piano). He's goofy and loves making funny faces in front of the mirror. He wants to be involved in the decision-making process when getting dressed, and he chooses which pair of daddy's shoes should go with his outfit for the day. He's more than a handful and very willful. His snores are like thunder, and he sprawls out all over the bed when he sleeps. He's a tech-junky but also loves books. He's into cars and anything with wheels. He loves driving and can tell if he's really driving the car or just pretend-driving while the car's parked. Most precious of all (and we're so proud of this) is that he's such a happy and easy-going kid.

Uh-oh! I think I just heard them (back from shopping). Better hide the puter so the little boy doesn't go all crazy over it.

Life is Good

2011-01-28T15:32:00.001-08:00

This is an exciting day!!

We learned this morning that Bill's application for Canadian citizenship has been approved! This was a total surprise because he sent out his application after we got back in town after the New Year's. In other words, it has not even been a full month yet and it's already been processed and approved! Very different from the stories we've heard from our friends. I believe the letter that Bill wrote to the CIC (Citizenship and Immigration Canada) requesting urgent process made a huge difference. I wonder if Bill will have to take the citizenship test... (memorizing the dates and names of people in Canadian history, the capital cities in all the provinces and territories, etc)? Nonetheless, once Bill receives his citizenship package, he can get his own SIN and Care Card. Our life will be even more settled and secure.

Kai and I finally met our new family doctor, Dr. Laura Logan, today. She's a friend of my friend Barbara's, and we're very lucky that Laura accepted us her new patients. Many people have a hard time finding a family doctor in Vancouver because doctors are maxed out on the number of patients they have, yet we were able to have a family doctor within 3 months after moving back to the city! At the end of today's visit, Laura ordered a CA-125 blood test and told me that she'll refer me to an oncologist right away. "Someone might call you from the cancer agency or a hospital, or I should be able to give you the name of an oncologist when you come back for your checkup next week." I feel so much better knowing that I'm back on track monitoring my tumor marker.

Kai is a healthy 16-month-old! His weight and height remain at 85 percentile (weight: 12.82 kg; height: 84.7 centimeters). Laura also had a great time hearing how Kai repeated words back at her. For instance, when she was listening to Kai's heart and lungs, he grabbed her stethoscope. She said, "This is my ste-tho-scope. Can you say ste-tho-scope?" Kai replied, "Se-sco." When she told Kai she was going to look into his ears, Kai grabbed his right ear and said, "Ear!"

Now we just have to get Kai to sleep in his own bed...

Nerdy Mom's Observation Report (1)

2011-01-25T01:12:00.001-08:00

Your dad and I are amazed at, and frightened by, how quickly you learn, how persistent you are at practicing a newly acquired skill, and how incredibly stubborn you can be at doing things your way and on your own.

I watched with my jaw hanging down to my chest as you "played" in the driver's seat in the garage. Other than the obvious "driving" motions (turning the steering wheel and honking the horn), you also put the imaginary keys into the ignition, "fixed" the rearview mirror, turned the signal on and off, and tried to shift gears! You must be incredibly observant because, even though you're still too little to reach them, you know your feet should touch the pedals. Every so often, you'd sit down (which is rare these days, as you usually stand on chairs), extend your right leg and pointed your toes down to reach the gas pedal. You were so busy and happy! As I looked on in the passenger's seat, I asked, "Are you driving Mommy somewhere? Where are we going?" You raised your eyebrows and pointed your index finger straight ahead. "Vroom! Vroom!" you made "the car sound", and off we went!

When we're out, you not only want to touch the cars and motorcycles on the street, you're drawn to anything with wheels, like strollers and shopping carts. At home, you have 20 toy cars in various sizes and shapes. You usually turn the wheels on the smaller cars with one hand and watch them spin. With the bigger cars, you push them off on the floor and crack up when they turn on their side. Recently, I've noticed, you've started to turn your push-n-ride onto its side or upside-down so you can closely examine how the wheels work. It won't be long until you're old enough to work on a car with Daddy in the garage (That's one of Daddy's dreams).

Aside from being observant, you're also meticulous and persistent in the things you do. I mean, you're still learning to use a fork, and I see how you challenge yourself to pick up pieces of food of different sizes, shapes, and texture at almost every meal. Just this morning you finally "forked up" a single Cheerio after crushing countless ones to pieces!

You're persistent and determined in learning to talk as well. First thing you do when you get up in the morning is to practice all the sounds you know and try out different combinations of them all. I can hear the hesitation when you mix what you know as an English sound to a Chinese sound. Intuitively, you know something's off. What cracks me up is that your mimicking of the Chinese sounds has a certain sing-song quality to it, which is not at all evident in your mock intonation of English sound sequence.

You repeat what we say after hearing it once. It's usually the last word in a sentence (like you'd repeat "bite" in "take a bite") or a single word in isolation, such as "shit" (yup, the time for the adults to censor what comes out of their mouths has arrived). What tickles me the most (having studied linguistics and speech science) is the fact that, although your production of the so-called "recognizable words" are still limited to monosyllabic and bisyllabic sounds, it is evident that you're fascinated and intrigued by the sounds and sound combinations that are more articulatorily-challenging within the one- and two- syllable range. For instance, while some kids may pronounce the hard "r" sound (hard in terms of intensity, not difficulty) more like the British, you actually practice the hard "r" sound in words like "car" and "chair" by exaggerating (hence prolonging) the vowel sound. What this does is that it gives your tongue enough time to utilize the muscles it needs for the retraction of the root and the curling of the tip, and to do so in the correct sequence! This may sound weird, but I love listening to your repetitive "car"s (Ha! Pun alert). I love hearing how you work to get the "r" more accurately articulated each time you practice.

In terms of two-syllable words, you use the ones with open syllables with ease (i.e., pu-pi "puppy" and da-di "daddy"), but you work hard at perfecting bisyllabic words that contain two closed syllables! For example, what was said as "pi-jur" around Christmas time has been perfected to "pik-chur" (picture) and "tra-tor" to "trac-tor".

It's exciting stuff! At 16 months, you're a natural linguist with the ability to analyze, dissect, and reconstruct speech patterns. I can't wait to see what sounds and sound combos you'll be working on next.

That's it for this observation report.

A new kid after every sleep

2011-01-16T21:56:00.001-08:00

Do you feel the same way when you look at your kid(s), that they seem to grow more mature after they have just woken up from a nap or a night's sleep? For us, that maturity shines through in the way Kai looks at us, in the way he smiles or makes a funny face, and in the way he moves. There seem to be more thoughts and feelings behind the things he does; he seems to be able to understand and interpret the world around him a little better.

I studied how the brain works in young children during early childhood as a part of my training to be a speech pathologist, but now that I think about it, I never fully understood the magnitude of the rapid development and the extent of wonder and amazement parents experience until I witnessed (and still witnessing) is firsthand with my own son. To me, the information we collected from lab tests (hooking up babies and toddlers to machines in order to record brain activities while the kids were exposed to languages) was nothing more than fascinating data that supported/disputed theories and valuable materials I could use for my own essays/lab reports.

I interpreted the data strictly from a scientific point of view back then, and now I sometimes feel like my brain is going to explode while watching what I learned come to life right in front of me!

It makes me want to go back to learning about it again! I wish I had kept the textbooks, instead of selling them for some quick cash for Happy Hours at the grad pub (although it WAS time well spent...).

So I've been reviewing the fundamentals and catching up with the latest research in language acquisition in early childhood online with the iPhone while Kai's asleep (come to think of it, it's quite fitting considering that's when his brain is doing all the categorizing and organizing). I've been devouring all the scientific findings and expert suggestions on how to foster a child's language development, but nothing can prepare me for the sheer joy, pride, and amazement when Kai repeats a word in Chinese perfectly or when he attempts to utter a 3-syllable word in English.

It's been at least ten years since I worked in the language acquisition lab, and I now understand why so many of those moms got misty-eyed when they learnt from our findings how much their children actually understood.

Our Little Avid Reader

2011-01-14T15:37:00.001-08:00

Kai loves reading. Aside from the "mandatory" nap time and bedtime stories, Kai reads multiple books multiple times every day. Sometimes he'd pick up a book and start reading (usually loudly) on his own; other times, he'd bring a book to you and climbs on to your lap so you can read to him.

Because he's been exposed to stories in two different languages, Kai's also able to distinguish Chinese books from English ones. He says "mao" when he sees a picture of a cat in a Chinese book and "kitty" in an English one. He's got a few "must-read"s (these are read at least once every day); but he's always excited to read new books as well.

For a 16-month-old, Kai's got quite an impressive collection in his library already. We're lucky that our family and friends also value and enjoy reading. Aside from the gifts we received from family and friends, we also inherited some books from Jordy, who is basically like Kai's big brother. I also have a hard time not buying a book or two for him when we go shopping 'cause I use books as distractions. These books often end up at the check-out counter with the rest of our groceries.

Kai's books are scattered all over the house; we also keep a couple of books in the diaper bag. This means Kai always has access to his books wherever he is. When Kai's fussy or frustrated because of boredom, Bill and I usually suggest, "Wanna go read?" and it always works! We let him pick the book he wants to read, and he lets us know where and how he wants to read it.

Growing up as an only child, I spent countless hours in stories and fables. Bill told me that he'd read under his sheets with a flash light after his mom had put him to bed. Now Kai is the most avid reader in the house, and Daddy reads e-books on his iPad. Sadly, Mommy can't remember the last not-child-related book she read...

The Amazing Eater

2011-01-11T00:21:00.001-08:00

Though I take no credit in it, I'm really proud of Kai's healthy appetite and his willingness to try pretty much everything at least once. The only thing he's not a big fan of is meat, but this is normal for kids his age, I've heard. I've noticed that he would eat meat if it's ground. Enchilada and Chinese dumplings are two of Kai's favorite food with meat.

Kai loves fruit and vegetables. As soon as he started eating solids, we introduced tropical fruits like mangoes and lychees, and he loved them! Now that we're back in the land where mangoes and lychees are not as common (or nearly as tasty), we make sure there are always at least two kinds of fruit in the house at all times. Kai's favorites are bananas, grapes, tangerines, and honeydews.

Aside from "finger veggies", such as carrots and broccoli, I also try to include dark green leafy vegetables in our diet. Kai would eat sauté spinach with garlic on its own, but he wouldn't eat cabbage unless I really cut it into "undetectable" pieces and mix it with something else.

This weekend, I took everything that was left in the fridge and made a pot of kale, carrots, and tofu soup with brown rice. Kai loved it, and I have to say, it was pretty damn good! I think kale is my new favorite vegetable. Unfortunately I don't know how else to prepare it other than putting it in a soup.

Kai has also been exposed to food from different countries. Since he's such an amazing eater and he loves rice and noodles, we usually don't have problems when eating out (Kai had Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Mexican, and Italian). Tonight, however, he surprised us yet again with just how willing he is to try different food.

We had Indian food for dinner, and Kai had chicken saag on some rice. Even though we ordered "mild", the chicken saag still packed a bit of a punch. In the beginning, Kai happily shoved it all in his mouth and it didn't occur to us that it was in fact a little spicy (Bill and I both love spicy food so much that I'm sure most of our taste buds are dead at this point). As the dinner went on, Kai slowly grew weary of the burning sensation on his tongue. His brows tangled and he tried to "get the taste off" by wiping his tongue with his fingers. He then stuck his tongue out and began to breathe out of his mouth. At one point, his eyes watered and his face turned red.

I offered him some water and Naan, secretly worried that we might have scared him off of spicy food (which would be such a shame because spicy food is sooooo good).

Our amazing eater took a couple of swigs from his sippy cup and took a few bites of Naan and soldiered on. He finished the rest of the rice with chicken saag and started fighting with us for the papadum (that's another thing. How many 15-month-olds do you know that eat, or like, papadum?)

I love that Kai loves food 'cause food is meant to be a pleasure. With kids, though... Who knows how they'll turn out?! I can only hope that Kai will continue to be such an easy eater (and hopefully make healthy choices) throughout his life. If not... I take no responsibility and my future daughter-in-law had better learn how to sneak vegetables into meatballs or chocolate cakes. Ha!

The Lexicon of This 15-month-old

2011-01-09T23:30:00.000-08:00

Hi, Bye, Daddy, Mommy, doggy, puppy, kitty, toy, car, towel, brush, apple, nana (banana), coffee, kaka (cracker), cookie, cheese (both as food and in front of the camera), chee (cheers), num-num (hungry), Nani (Natti), Jodi (Jordy), Toto (Totoro), nice, go, hot, bath, wawa (water), down, doh (door), ball, no, mine, e-or (Eeyore), boon (spoon), boobie (sometimes beeboo), bebe (belly button), nose, ear, feet, shoo (shoes), papa, night-night, boo (book), and bum.

44 frequently-used everyday words at 15 months!! The scary thing is that he's been a parrot over the last few days, repeating almost everything I said. And his production of Chinese words has been catching up as well.

Vocabulary explosion is supposed to occur around 18 months of age. I wonder if Kai's experiencing it right now and what's gonna happen then when he is 18 months old?!

2010-12-20T22:48:00.000-08:00

Things That Kai Understands

Where's your mouth Where's your nose

Pat your head and Touch your toes

Want a bath? Let's go outside

Put your bib on and Take a bite

Hold on a minute Wait for Mommy

Go get your shoes and Take them to Daddy

Clap your hands Stump your feet

Watch your fingers and Brush your teeth

Jump! Stop! Sit! and Hop!

Don't touch the oven 'cause It's hot

A kiss for Mommy A hug for Daddy

Don't forget Eeyore, Garfield, Moo, and Bucky

"Kaikai" is what you're called

"Ma Jia-Kai" only when you're caught

You say,

Bearbear kitty doggy poo-i (pony)

"Wawa" is water and "BB"s boobies

You're so smart You try so hard

You're so awesome You don't give up

Pick up your toys and Let's go read

We love you little one and your sticky feet

2010-12-15T13:25:00.000-08:00

It's My Blog so I Can Brag All I Want

We don't let Kai play with the garbage bin in the kitchen, of course. Every time he tries to open the garbage bin, we stop him and explain, "It's garbage, and it's yucky." The other day, while I was making dinner in the kitchen, Kai took some used tin foil that I had squeezed into a ball off the kitchen counter. He walked around with it for a while saying, "Ball! Ball!" I said without turning around, "That's not a ball, Kai. It's garbage."

Then there was silence.

I turned around, and Kai was just in the middle of putting the tin foil ball into the garbage bin. He looked straight at me and said, "Ga-ba."

2010-11-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

Our Amazing Toddler

Okay, I'm sure the constant amazement we experience might very well be one of those first-time-parent things, but I gotta tell ya, we've got quite a little guy here. He's growing up so fast and doing so many new things every day, I feel like I'm not catching up fast enough!! At 14 months, this is what he's doing regularly. For convenience sake (okay... I'm lazy), I used the milestone chart: 13 to 18 months from Baby Center as a guide and picked out the things that Kai's doing now. As you will see, some of these things (according to Baby Center) are milestones for the next few months to come.

(for 14-month-olds)
• Eats with fingers
• Empties containers of contents
• Imitates others
• Toddles well
• Initiates games
• Responds to instructions (e.g., "give me a kiss")
• Pushes and pulls toys while walking

(for 15-month-olds)
• Plays with ball
• Uses three words regularly (Kai's words: "Daddy", "Hi", "Bye", "Doggie", "Kitty)
• Walks backward

(for 16-month-olds)
• "Helps" around the house
• Turns the pages of a book
• Has temper tantrums when frustrated
• Discovers the joy of climbing
• Learns the correct way to use common objects (e.g., Daddy's iPhone)
• Switches from two naps to one

(for 17-months-olds)
• Enjoys pretend games (Kai would pretend to pick up something and hand it to me)
• Likes riding toys
• Feeds doll (Mmm... Kai doesn't have dolls, but he feeds his parents and his babysitter)
• Speaks more clearly
• Throws a ball underhand
• Dances to music (Are you kidding? He started dancing to music before his first birthday)
• Kicks ball forward

(for 18-month-olds)
• Will "read" board books on his own
• Brushes teeth with help

Now is he an amazing toddler or what?!

2010-11-15T23:23:00.000-08:00

A New Chapter

I almost cried when I came to this site because I really have not been a good blogger. This is Kai's site. I started it with the intention to record his development and growth; yet I've slacked off for more than 2 months now. This has to stop. Now that we're somewhat settled. I need to get back into the whole writing thing again. Be warned, people!! The Little Peanut is back in business.

Here's what's been happening in a nutshell:
We've been living out of our suitcases since July. We got rid of the apartment in Taipei, stored all our belongings on the rooftop storage space at my cousin's place, and went on a 2-month vacation in the Pacific Northwest. Sometime during the vacation, I saw a job posting, applied for it, and got all the way though to the interview. The 4-hour interview took place in the afternoon of our return flight to Taipei. I walked out of it feeling defeated and pessimistic. We hopped on the plane, flew across the Pacific, and stayed at my mom's place for a while. That was September 23.

Turned out, I got the job and had to make it to the orientation on October 18th. So we packed (again) enough stuff for both Kai and myself for the first few weeks in Vancouver and bought 2 one-way tickets for Oct 11th. In other words, within a month's time, we flew across the Pacific Ocean 3 times (yes, of course we're collecting miles).

Bill stayed in Taiwan to get rid of almost all of the things we had accumulated in the last 6 years we lived there. He was scheduled to join us in Vancouver at the end of October. Those two weeks apart were very difficult, but we made it through. I think that experience has also made us tighter and stronger as a family.

Looking back, it's the typical Bill and Kate's way of life. I'm very proud of us for having the ability to always "make it" under difference circumstances, and it's great to have that confidence. It wasn't easy, but we made it happen. Just like how we did with living in Taiwan, dealing with and beating cancer, trying for a baby, and looking for ways to move back to North America. Also, we're extremely blessed to be surrounded by people who love and support us and who will go the distance to help us with whatever we need.

Now a new chapter begins in Vancouver.

2010-09-05T12:21:00.001-07:00

Words that Kai Says

Doh, doh-y, doggie

Bye-bye

Hi

Dada, baba ("dad" in Chinese)

Pah

Mama, mum

Beah (bear)

The Almost Toddler

2010-08-23T13:15:00.001-07:00

It's so hard to remember to blog while I'm on vacation, especially
when I didn't bring my laptop (I should've). But I also want to keep a
record of what's happened.

Anyway, in a nutshell:

Kai's walking now. He took his very first three steps in the TV room
and, a couple of days later, took another few steps in Grandma's room.
Now he walks across the room like nobody's business. It's really cute
cause he walks like a zombie with his arms out in the front.
Understandably, he doesn't want to be carried or put in the stroller
anymore. He wants to walk while pushing the stroller.

We also noticed his fascination with cars... well, tires/wheels to be
exact. When he's near a car, he always wants to head over there and
smack the tires. He often examines the wheels on his stroller as well.

Just in the last 24 hours, Kai's really been practicing speaking. His
first word was "doggie". He says "duh", "do", "duh-gi" when he sees a
dog. Yesterday afternoon when we were heading home from the zoo, Kai
was practicing "Bye" in the car. He repeatedly said "ba", "ba-i",
"bai", and "bye bye" while waving his hand. This morning, he said
"Bye" to aunt Monica and Uncle Allen, and a few hours later, he did it
again when P and Erik were leaving. It's such a thrill to hear him say
words that we understand!! His little "Ba-i" is simply adorable!!

Kai started walking and talking at 11 months. Is it early or late for
little boys? I gotta look it up.

We're so doomed

2010-08-11T23:22:00.001-07:00

Kai's 11 months old today, and he spent the entire day practicing
walking. He's so confident now that he won't crawl unless he
absolutely has to. Just before he went to bed tonight, this little guy
was practicing making a turn while standing or walking!!

I think Bill has said it, "We left Taiwan with a baby, and we're going
back with a little boy." There's no stopping him now!

Kaikai's First Steps

2010-08-09T23:54:00.001-07:00

Kai took his first four or five consecutive steps tonight while
playing in his grandparents' room!! Luckily we were all there to
witness it. While his dad was talking, Kai pulled himself up on the
yellow dresser and let go all of a sudden. He walked toward the image
of himself in the full-size mirrors on the closet doors!!

Unfortunately we didn't have a camera handy.

Genevieve's Bridal Shower

2010-08-04T13:24:00.001-07:00

I just want to quickly jot this down 'cause it's funny.

Genevieve, the soon-to-be-Mrs. Martin, is having her bridal shower
this Friday. This morning, my mother-in-law was talking to Debbie (one
of my sisters-in-law), listing all the women from the family that are
going with their babies. She said, "Diana is going with Grace. You and
Jack. Juli..."

"Juli and Maggie, Shellee and June, Kate and Kai," Debbie finished the
list.

"Yeah," my mother-in-law concluded, "All of you are going with your
babies!"

I don't know if this has happened before in the Martin's family, but
it probably won't happen again: at this point in time... specifically
at a new Martin's bridal shower, ALL of her 5 sisters-in-law are
attending, and we're ALL showing up with our babies.

This should go into the Family Book.

p.s Ooooo... It just occurred to me that Kai and I do have outfits
that go with the shower theme. Goody, goody!

Never thought I'd feel this way

2010-08-01T18:57:00.001-07:00

We went to Sarah's baby shower yesterday afternoon and, in the
presence of two pregnant ladies, I felt this knot in my tummy and
basically killed the conversation Bill was having with two of his
buddies by announcing (rather loudly, I might add), "That's it! I
wanna be pregnant again!"

I miss being pregnant. How weird is that? I never thought it'd be
something that I'd MISS?! What a strange concept, missing being
pregnant?! Pregnancy is one of the most uncomfortable physical
experience for a woman (and not to mention giving birth), but the
intimacy and connection to the life inside her is enough reason for a
woman to want to go through it all over again. Crazy, but if my uterus
can talk, she'd say, "I'm ready. Let's make a baby!"

Kai's new friend

2010-07-27T23:55:00.000-07:00

Took Kai to Lily Park, a neighborhood no-dogs-allowed park near Eric
and Jenney's, this afternoon. Shortly after Kai got on the swing, a
little boy and his mom arrived. "I wanna go reeeeeeeaally high,
Mommy," the little boy said. Kai "ah"ed at him and turned almost
completely sideways so he could keep looking at him.

Then two more kids came to the park, and that little boy went to play
with them farther down the playground. Kai rode on a horsie after the
swing and was fascinated by the sandbox. He spent the first few
minutes carefully touching and feeling the sand. Then he grabbed a
handful and watched as it slipped through his fingers. He was
surprised at how hot the sand was when he crawled out of the shady
area. He even tried to eat it, but of course I stopped him from
shoving the handful of sand into his mouth.

Then the little boy came over and put his ambulance in front of Kai.
"It's broken. See?" he said as he pressed all the buttons on the
ambulance. "What can his fire truck do?"

"Don't worry, little buddy. Help is on the way!!" "Where's the fire?"
I pressed the red light on the top of the fire truck.

The boy, 4-year-old Thomas, took the truck and was "driving" it away,
and Kai panicked! He kept "ah"ing and was crawling toward Thomas. When
Kai put his hands on Thomas' shoulder, Thomas pretended to have fallen
and laid down on the sand, giggling. Kai froze with his hands in the
air and, a couple of seconds later, he chuckled as he realized Thomas
was playing WITH him. This was the first time an older kid (who's not
related to Kai) played with him, and Kai was sooooo happy and
excited!! Besides cars, Thomas also brought over his sandbox tools and
gave Kai the claw rake. The two of them played next to one another.
While Thomas told me stories about his life, Kai was also "talking" as
if he understood and was responding to what Thomas had said.

They spent almost an hour in the sandbox together.

When it was time to go home, Thomas gathered his toys and gave them to
his mom. Then he ran back to us and said, "Thank you for playing with
me. Last time I was at the park near (some place I don't know), the
kid didn't play with me 'cause.... um... 'cause he said I was a...
um.... stranger." I looked at his mom to make sure I heard right.
"Yeah," his mom chuckled, "and he's 4 years old! How dangerous can he
be?" What kind of world do we live in?

Kai's first sandbox experience was a huge success! He made a new
friend, and he eventually got to taste a bit of sand. He got messy and
dirty. He played.

Kai the Adventurous Travel Bug

2010-07-26T22:39:00.000-07:00

Oh boy! I think somebody's gonna ask for a puppy as soon as he can
talk!!

We're now back in Corvallis at Eric and Jenney's. We spent the last
two days camping with four other families at Cascadia State Park, and
Kai had a blast!! He is such a happy-go-lucky baby in general. The
only time he gets cranky and difficult is when he gets tired. But he's
such a friendly, sociable, and happy little guy. He loves to play with
kids and dogs, and he's okay with other adults holding him as long as
Mommy or Daddy is there too. He talks to everyone and everything (we
thought he was talking to the trees and waterfall when we went on the
hike this morning), and his goofy "Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo" laugh made
everyone around him laugh.

This 10-and-a-half-month old has gained all kinds of experience in the
last two days: played in the river, had dinner by the camp fire,
played with some doggies, went after some 3-, 4-, and 5- year-olds,
slept in a tent, played in the tent and fell between one side of the
tent and the air mattress, crawled in mud, picked little pieces of
wood off the ground, tried to eat some fussy moss, hiked in a backpack
carrier and saw a waterfall and... last but not least, got in a tube
and went down the river with Daddy!

And the only time he wasn't sure if he liked it was when he went down
some rapids in the river in the tube with Daddy. However, it could
also be (a) it was 1.5 hours past nap time, and he was exhausted, and/
or (b) he couldn't really move in his brand new life jacket, and the
sun was directly in his eyes. Other than that, this amazing travel bug
strived in all the new experiences. In fact, he did so well that
sometimes it's easy to forget that he's only a baby!! He can't even
walk on his own yet, and he's already gone river-tubing.

Bill and I are mentally (and we really should physically as well)
preparing ourselves for the day he starts walking on his own. Nothing
can stop this adventurous little guy then. Look out, world! Here comes
Kai Kai!!

Kai-nese

2010-07-23T22:59:00.001-07:00

Kai has a few favorite sounds that he's been working on. One is
"nnna", which I think means "nommy nom" (food). He'd only go "Nnna!
Nnna!" when he sees his food or when he's eating.

When he wants to nurse, he changes "nnna" to "nja". I love how he'd be
rooting while saying "nja", and as soon as he latches on, he goes,
"Mmm~". As in "Mmm~ This is good stuff." So cute!!

And he's got his own word for "dog" now! For the past few days,
whenever he saw Grandma's dog Holly, he squealed! He'd go "Ah! Ah!
Ah!" while going after her. I noticed that I haven't been doing a good
job scaffolding: I've been inconsistent with the words I use while
helping him identify a dog (sometimes I say, "Holly" but other times I
say, "Doggie"), so I switched to only using "doggie" a couple of days
ago. Today while I was helping Kai walk over to Tony and Luanne's
Golden Retriever Brandon, I said, "Doggie." And Kai repeated, "Duh!
Duh!" I said, "Yes! Doggie." Kai went, "Duh! Gu! Duh! Duh!" and he
threw himself on top of Brandon and got a mouthful of fur.

AND I've got to keep using Chinese with him. I know he recognizes
Chinese because when I do talk to him in Chinese, he smiles and seems
to be intrigued. I just have to remember to use both languages when I
name objects (i.e., "doggie" and "gou gou"). Note to self: Must.
Remember. To. Do. It. In. Both. Languages!!!

The importance of the 5-o'clock nap

2010-07-23T14:14:00.001-07:00

It's been a week since we arrived, and we're tired from our vacation
already. Heh, no... it's not because we've been out exploring every
day and partying every night. Well, let's just say, vacationing with a
baby is an oxymoron. We have to do everything on Kai's schedule, and
we're fine with that. However, things get a bit tough for everyone
when Kai's schedule's all messed up.

Ever since Lisa told me the horror story of (then-5-month-old) Jordy's
jet-lag when they went to England, I've started reading about helping
a baby deal with jet-lag whenever I thought of it because I knew we'd
have to face it sooner or later. Generally, the best strategy is to
stick with your baby's sleep schedule in the time zone that you're in,
but respect your baby's inner clock even if it means longer/shorter,
fewer/more naps throughout the day.

That's what we've been doing, and it hasn't worked.

Kai's bedtime used to be 8pm, and he got up around 6 or 7 in the
morning. Since we arrived on this side of the ocean, he's been going
to sleep around midnight and getting up at 9 or 10 in the morning.
"Well, he's still getting at least 8 hours of sleep," you might say.
Yeah, but getting up late pushes everything back, which means he goes
to sleep late and gets up late the next morning. The vicious circle.

So we've been trying to make him go to sleep earlier, and we haven't
had any luck. Every evening he gets so tired that he passes out around
7pm, "naps" for a couple of hours, and he's ready to play until
midnight. I'm totally exhausted by then and have very little patience
for his "sleep is over-rated" bedtime struggle. Luckily, after a few
days of close observation, I finally figured out the source of the
problem: it's the missing 5-o'clock nap.

Back in Taiwan, our dinner time was 7, so Kai could have a nap at 5
and wake up just before Daddy got home. Over here, Daddy's work
schedule is reversed; he has to be in meetings from 7:30 on. So we've
been busy at 5 -- preparing or going somewhere for dinner. Missing the
5-o'clock nap means that Kai stays awake from about 2 all the way to
after dinner. No wonder he passed out cold in the car on the way back
from dinner in the last few days. So he's been taking the 5-o'clock
nap at 7, and bedtime got pushed to midnight.

Traveling with a baby IS challenging, and we are reminded (message
sent loudly and clearly) that babies need routines and stability.
However, I wouldn't go as far as saying that people shouldn't travel
with their babies though. I mean, it's a delight to see how much Kai
has learnt and developed already just in the last few days, and we
think i's important for Kai to have new and different experiences.
It's good that we now know what to expect being on the road with Kai
'cause we'd like to continue traveling with him to different places
(to Thailand or Australia in the winter, for instance). After all, it
would be a shame not to make good use of his 3 passports.

Every Parent Needs a "Good Job"

2010-07-21T14:00:00.001-07:00

We went out for dinner last night. When the family at the table next
to ours was leaving, the mom came over, put her hand on my shoulder
and said, "I know how difficult this is, and that's why I have to tell
you this: good job, mom and dad. Your baby's so great in a restaurant,
and that's all you. Good job!!"

Bill replied with modesty, "It's all him. We just got lucky!"

This Matins' Grand Summer Tour

2010-07-20T12:41:00.000-07:00

I give up! I simply do not have the time or mind power to remember to
blog every two days. Instead, I'm just gonna state the date of the day
I do blog, and I'll try to cover what happened prior to that day.

So this is Monday, July 19. The previous blog ended with the Family
Night last Friday. On Saturday, we slept in til 1in the afternoon
(we're severely jet-lagged) and went to Grandma's house for dinner
with Aunt Juli and Aunt Shellee. Kai got to play with his cousins
Natalie (5), Renee (3), and Maggie (1). Kai was fascinated with
Maggie. We think it's because he sees that Maggie is almost his size
but she can do so much more. Also, it could simply be the fact that
Maggie is such a busy bee. She's always runnging around doing things
and talking up a storm :).

Our plan was to get up early and go for a walk in the morning on
Sunday, but we didn't leave Grandma's house until midnight the night
before!! We took it easy and stayed in the apartment for most of the
day. Then we went to Sandra's husband, Jeremy's birthday party in SE
Portland. S and J have a 4-year-old girl and a boy who's almost 2.
Their friends also brought their kids to the party, but once again,
Kai was fixated with Watson, Sandra's son, who's the closest in age
with Kai.

The boy's having a fabulous time playing with other kids and having
all kinds of adventures. This is what this trip is all about, isn't it?

2010-07-17T13:00:00.000-07:00

This Martins' Summer Grand Tour (Day 1 - Day 2)

The plane ride went much more smoothly than what we had anticipated. Kai had a one-hour nap in the cab ride out to the airport, so he was just happy and alert when we were going through the potentially most stressful part of the trip: checking in and going through customs and security.

You know how you always only hear about the difficulties in flying with a baby? Well, I started reading on "Flying with Your Baby" weeks before this trip. I read a good number of personal blogs, forums, parenting sites, and the official Transportation Security Administration of the US. While I was studying, I made a map of the airport in my head and put a big red cross on each of the "check points" (like in a video game). I memorized the tasks I might be asked to complete and the best ways to complete them. I reviewed what I'd studied in my head when we were in the cab to the airport, and I felt confident and prepared when we arrived at the airport. I knew what "problems" might lay ahead and acted preemtively. Sadly, everything went smoothly... so smoothly that I ended up feeling like that gigantic dork in the class who eagerly answered every question, even before it was asked. *sigh*

That said, I still suggest that you do your homework before traveling with your baby.

Kai handled all this traveling exceptionally well. He was simply excited and curious when we were at the airport. Even after we were seated in the plane, he was jumping on my lap, pulling the stuff out from the pocket in front of us, and looking at the pretty flight attendants. I put him on the boob when we were taxiing, and he was out before take-off (Told ya I did my homework). In fact, he didn't wake up until 8 hours later (I know!! We didn't have to use any of the tricks suggested by our friends). We even put him in the bassinet for a while, but it got bumpy quite frequently when we flew over Japan, so we decided to ask the flight attendant to take away the bassinet (for more space) and just held him in our arms.

Kai woke up when breakfast was served three hours before landing. He ate with us and spent the rest of the flight playing with a 15-month-old and checking out a cute 2-year-old girl with curly blond hair (If you remember from previous posts, Kai seems to be into blonds). Since we were seated by the work station, Kai also spent a great deal of time flirting with the flight attendants. They called him "xuai ge", which means "a handsome man" in Chinese.

We arrived in Vancouver around 7:30pm local time, and we were surprised at how bright it was. We were also reminded, once again, how beautiful Vancouver is. The mountains, the blue sky, the fresh air, and the friendly people (speaking with a funny accent in Bill's opinion). We stayed at the Riverport Holiday Inn right by SilverCity Riverport. By the time we were out for dinner at River Brew Pub, it was already 9 o'clock! We had an artichoke and spinach dip and sweet cherry sauce and pork lion (which were not as good as we'd hoped). The beer was good though. Bill had a special extra bitter Ale, and I ordered a blond Ale (the waiter asked, "Would you like to taste the blond first?" when he took my order. I thought that was funny in a kinky kind of way. Hey, I was exhausted after a whole day of traveling, okay?)

After a good night sleep at the hotel, we were ready for yet another plane ride from Vancouver to Portland. This one was one one hour long... almost felt like a joke in comparison to the 11-hour flight we took just the night before. To my surprise, it was a turbo prop plane! It was fun... and noisy. Once again, I put Kai on the boob when we were taxiing, and the little boy slept through the entire flight. Unfortunately, Bill and I both ran for the bathroom as soon as we landed (must be the dinner... or the buffet breakfast at the hotel).

We went out to "Family Night" almost straight from the airport, and Kai met the 30+ people in the family all at once. He was cautious and hesitant at first but warmed up to people very quickly. For the first time, he played with kids at different ages. He was super excited and happy, crawling everywhere and saying hi to everybody. On the way to our temporary home in the car, however, Kai was so exhausted that he cried... we haven't seen him cry like that since he suffered from gas pangs when he was 2 months old.

Even though our first experience of "flying with a baby" went smoothly, traveling with a baby is much more taxing than we had anticipated. Either that, or we're really feeling our age now.