Male Friends and Baby Talk

Most of our close friends in Taiwan are single guys. Some days, I wish I had a group of expectant moms or moms to hang out with to talk about pregnancies and babies, and to share tips and tricks. Most days, however, I get my fix from listening to the few dads in my office bragging about their kids' accomplishments and how brave their wives were giving birth.

Last night, Bill went with me to my first outing with a group of friends, most of whom are single males. It felt really good 'cause I hadn't been out socializing AT ALL since I got pregnant (mostly because it's hard to find a place in Taipei where there's absolutely no smoking allowed). The guys were really sweet. To accommodate the pregger, they went out of their ways to find a place that's 100% smoke-free, even though the majority of them do smoke.

For many of these guys, it was also the first time they saw me since I got pregnant. They were all very happy for us, but many of them also felt kind of weird 'cause (a) we're the only expectant couple in our social group, (b) it happened all so suddenly and unexpectedly, and (c) for my colleagues, "the party coordinator" no longer parties.

Despite the mixed emotions they experienced, many of the guys tried to talk about the baby with me, and their attempts were both awkward and cute.


S: "How's the pregnancy?"
K: "It's going well. Thanks."
S: "Mmm.... are you getting fat?"
K: "I'm getting bigger for sure. After all, I am pregnant, you know?!"


J: "Let's see it."
K: "See what?"
J: "The baby."
K: "I've got a bump" (flattening my shirt to show the bump)
J: "That's it? Well (flattening his shirt to show off his beer belly), I look more pregnant than you do"


(S and P are both from England)

S: "What languages are you gonna raise your kid in?"
K: "We're hoping both Mandarin and English, but it's gonna be hard."
S: "Cause you and Bill always speak English to each other."
P: "Maybe you can sing in Mandarin to the kid."
K: "That means I gotta learn some Chinese nursery rhymes then."
P: "How can you not know any nursery rhymes in Chinese?"
K: "Can you think of any nursery rhymes off the top of your head?"
P: "(brief silence)..... That wasn't the question."
S: "That's easy. Just sing 'London Bridge is falling down'."
P: "Why would the kid care about the London Bridge? S/He's gonna be American/Canadian/Taiwanese."
S: "Then change it to different landmarks. For instance, (singing happily) 'Taipei 101 is falling down'.... uh... what's a bridge in Vancouver?"
K: "Lion's Gate Bridge."
S: "'Lion's Gate Bridge's falling down', 'Space Needle's falling down', or even 'Tokyo Tower's falling down". See?! They all work."
P: "Who would've thunk the bloody ol' London Bridge could be so versatile."


S: "Have you started talking to the kid?"
K: "From time to time, but not extensively or anything."
S: "Just read.... the newspaper... or the Economist to the kid. That's what my dad did to me. He said that always got me to quiet down."
K: "Probably 'cause you were bored out of your mind."
S: "But it worked! I'll come over and read the Economist to your kid."
P: "The kid might acquire that British accent of yours."
S: "Well, you should talk. Ha, I know! Bill can read Wired magazine to him, so your kid's gonna be a wired economist!"
P: "... with a British accent."
S: "Only when he talks about the economy."


R: "When are you due?"
K: "September 11."
J: "I'll come over and poke the kid after s/he's born. Then I'll come back in 6 month's time after the kid's got some personality."


As much as I wish my gal pals could be here, I'm thankful for the group of friends we've got. I enjoy their quick-wittiness and senses of humor tremendously, even when they're being a pain in the butt sometimes. These are good people with big hearts and gentle souls, and I think it'll be okay to let Peanut meet them. Mmm.... we might need to exercise rigid parental discretion at times.... :D