The other day, Bill asked if I felt like I spent every minute of every day taking care of Kai and maybe I felt like I was nothing more than just boobs to him (to Kai, that is. Not Bill...?). I chuckled. The answer I had in my head at that moment was,
Well.... What do you think?
To give an answer like that would suggest that I was angry and bitter, and I'm not angry or bitter (anymore). In the past two months, I've been learning how to be Kai's mother, and the most valuable lesson is that I just have to be as flexible as I can be, physically and mentally.
I think the hardest thing for Bill and me to finally admit and give into is that, in any given moment, we have to be ready to abandon what we want and attend to what Kai wants. It's tough because both of us have spent the last 37 years doing what we wanted: staying up late, staying out late, playing video games, watching 3 episodes of Gray's Anatomy one after another (though I can still do this), blogging... You know what, and I'm not making this up for effect, Kai just woke up and I have to go.
I don't feel like I spend every minute of every day taking care of him,
I DO.
I DO.
To give an answer like that would suggest that I was angry and bitter, and I'm not angry or bitter (anymore). In the past two months, I've been learning how to be Kai's mother, and the most valuable lesson is that I just have to be as flexible as I can be, physically and mentally.
I think the hardest thing for Bill and me to finally admit and give into is that, in any given moment, we have to be ready to abandon what we want and attend to what Kai wants. It's tough because both of us have spent the last 37 years doing what we wanted: staying up late, staying out late, playing video games, watching 3 episodes of Gray's Anatomy one after another (though I can still do this), blogging... You know what, and I'm not making this up for effect, Kai just woke up and I have to go.
5 comments:
It's tough being on "Kai Time" (that's what we called in when our babies were small only, of course, we inserted OUR kids names). But believe me when I say, before you know it you'll start getting your freedom back and you may even start wishing for a few of those middle of the night wake up calls.
"Blogging"... :-) That is one thing that seems to irk every man in my household. If I were doing something else, they usually let me be. But Blogging seems like, for some reason, such a waste of time, such a self-indulgence, a willful, pointless, activity to them. It IS tough when they are so young. It does get better, time-wise. Don't want to give you false expectations: when they get older, you start finding new things to worry about. As my mom said, "Sleep when the baby sleeps." xxoo
Hi Jane, What a delight to see you here (I'm also a bit nervous)! You probably already know, I've been reading your blog and really enjoying it. I haven't commented 'cause I usually read blogs during the late-night feedings on my iPod Shuffle, and it's a real pain to type with one thumb in the dark while trying not to drop the baby.
I totally know what you mean. And this is why I desperately try to capture these precious moments in writing and with photos and videos, of course.
Hope you see you here often.
"AA" (can I call you by your real name? I feel a bit silly not using your real name considering we actually know each other),
It must be tough to live in a house with three boys, and that's why you need a place (in this case, your blog) to get some girl support. I'm sorry I haven't commented on your blog either (see what I wrote to Jane above). I will do it soon though.
No worries. Of course you can call me by my real name. Since it's out there, I believe somewhere, on some blog... :-) Thank you for asking me though. How about you? I wanted to give you a bloggy award but I wasn't sure how "public" you want this blog to be. But since not that many people read my blog, I am going to go ahead and give you the bloggy award anyway.... No worries about no comment etc. Having a newborn baby is really hard work. We all understand. Soon you will master using one hand to accomplish A LOT OF THINGS, e.g. making pancakes.
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