Managing the Parents

Hi! Kai here.

I know yesterday my Mommy wrote about how difficult I have become (She thought I was asleep. Silly Mommy... Though my eyes were closed, I knew she was typing on her shone). I thought it's only fair if I got to present my side of the story. To many of you, I may be "only" 19 months old, but even a 19-month-old has his/her own unique preferences and desires. We toddlers are people... only much shorter.

Where do I even begin?!..... Okay! This "saying no to everything" thing. First of all, let's dial down the drama, shall we?! I don't say no to EVERYthing. Mommy said so herself. There are a few things I never say no to. So there!! And whatever I say no to, I believe I have legitimate reasons to do so.

First of all, I don't think I need to sit in the high chair anymore because high chairs are for babies. Like that blonde baby in my Elmo book. I know he's a baby because he still has a bib on. I, on the other hand, am a big boy, so I don't need bibs anymore. Aaand I can say the word "bib" now. That shows I'm not a baby; therefore, I don't need to sit in a high chair. C'mon! I can eat with a shirk or a boon, and I can drink from a cup. I deserve to be sitting on a chair like everyone else. (By the way, "C'mon" is my favorite thing to say these days. Mommy rolls her eyes when I say it, and I think it's so funny)

Then there's the diaper thing. It's such a drag because it often interrupts my play, so I don't want to have it changed unless it's absolutely necessary. And I think I've been helping Mommy by pulling my pants down and saying "diaper" when it's really full. I think Mommy should just chill out and follow my lead. C'mon! I'm 19-month old. I know when my diapers need to be changed.

Last but not least, I know sometimes I get a bit "out of control" when I get frustrated, but I always try to ask nicely first. For example, when I want to watch Dora the Explorer, I say, "Doradoradoradoradoradoraaaaa!!!! Dora!" If Mommy still hasn't put it on, I raise my voice, "Dora! Dora! Doraaaaa!" and may add a little "Yank you~~~~" at the end. If she still doesn't have the remotes in hand by mow, I know it's time to pull out the secret weapon that she cannot say no to: the little high-pitched, sheepish "pweeeeeeez" with a tilted head and a big teethy grin. That's usually enough to penetrate Mommy's pretend armor of steel. She gives in, I get what I want, and everybody's happy.

A message to fellow toddlers: Don't go head-to-head against the parents. They're bigger and stronger, so why bother? Learn their weak point and use that to manage them. When all things fail, it's always worthwhile to try to cute your way through. That's what your chubby cheeks and big eyes are for, so use them well.