Pwane, Daddy, & Kanina

Dropped Bill off at the airport this morning for his business trip up and down the State of California. For a brief moment when Bill was saying bye, Kai seemed to understand and got a bit upset about his dad's leaving. On the short drive home, every time Kai said, "Daddy", I told him Daddy's getting on a plane to California.

As soon as I opened the door to the empty house, my throat tightened and my stomach turned. Kai went straight to knocking of the door of his father's office. Argh! I hate it when Bill's away. I become hyper-sensitive to every sound, and my "making sure the doors are locked" routine (i.e., locking and unlocking the doors numerous times) is a red hot OCD branded on my forehead. "Daddy! Daaaaaaaadddyyyy!" Kai was yelling so loudly at the close door that he bent his body forward to squeeze every last breathe out of his little yet powerful lungs.

"Kai," I interjected, "Daddy's on a plane to California, remember? He'll be back later." Kai looked at me with that serious look that often marvels his father and I. A few seconds later, he nodded, "K!"

So we went to play in the backyard. Kai was collecting rocks and kicking Queen around. Queen is his beach ball with Lightning McQueen from "Cars" on it. Then we heard a plane flying overhead. We live 20 minutes from the airport, so Kai gets to point at a "pwane" at least once a day. As this plane glided across the section of the clear blue sky directly above our house, Kai pointed at it and screamed as if it was his very first time seeing an airplane, "Pwane! Daddy!"

Everything blurred as my eyes were flooded by tears. Questions started popping in my head: does he really understand the connection between airplanes and daddy? Is he gonna associate the two from now on? How much does a 19-month-old understand?

Throughout the day, Kai proved that the association was made:
- he has never played with that toy plane as much as he did all day today.
- he was flying his toy plane around, making engine sounds and saying "Daddy".
- he came to me and said, "Daddy. Drive!" Before I could say anything, he "corrected" himself, "Daddy. Pwane!" and went to grab his toy plane.

Then we had a bit of a fallout 'cause I wouldn't let him have a bath until after dinner. He protested by planting himself on the floor right outside the bathroom, crying and yelling, "Bat!" (bath). It took a lot of deep-breathing and tongue-biting, but eventually I managed to get him to sit at the table.

Kai asked to have some mandarin oranges after dinner.
"How 'bout we take a bath after these oranges?" I wanted to let him know I didn't forget my promises.
"Daddy," he said with a mouth full of orange wedges and pointed at the office."
"Daddy's not here. He's in California."
Kai didn't reply. He finished the two mandarin oranges.

He took the plane to the bath tonight. After we washed and rinsed his hair, Kai cheerfully announced, "Done!" it means "Mommy's done bathing me. Now leave me be to play in the water." I stood up to take my contact lenses out and heard him, "Kanina! Kanina!" He was standing in the tub flying the plane.
"Sit down, Kai. You know you're not supposed to stand in the bathtub." I quickly ripped the lens out of my right eye so I could turn around to catch him if necessary.
Kai sat in the tub staring at me. "Pwane..." he said as the plane surged out of the bath water.
"Broom broom!" Kai flew it around in the air.
"Kanina! Kanina! Broom. Broom...... Daddy."

Everything turned blurry again, and it wasn't because I wasn't wearing my contact lenses.