Talking on the Phone Ain't as Easy as We Think

Kai has really taken an interest in talking on the phone recently. At first I didn't think he understood what was being said, but after closer observation, I was amazed to find out he is conversing in a meaningful way with the voice from the phone and that he thinks the person he's talking to is also able to see what he sees.

Note: My intention is not to brag. Being a language nut, it's hard not to analyze what is going on with every new step my child makes in his language development.

Phone conversations are more difficult to understand because they offer fewer context clues for the participants to decode, or fill in the gap, when communication becomes murky. In other words, it is more difficult to understand what is said via the phone because one cannot see the other person's facial expressions, lip movements, or gestures -- all of which are clues we naturally use to facilitate interpersonal communication. For this very reason, language learners often find talking on the phone almost a daunting experience.

Another factor that makes phone conversations more difficult to understand is the unpredictability of the conversation itself. Unlike face-to-face communication, in which changes in the topics are very often clearly signaled by pauses, gesture, or conversational signals such as "Hey" or "Oh yeah," there is very little in phone conversations to help the participants predict what the next question might be. In addition, it's more difficult to converse on the phone because it requires a very tricky thing called "turn-taking", a concept that even some adults never truly understand (smirk).

Adults are able to engage in phone conversations effortlessly because of our much more superb language skills and... let's face it, a whole lot more years of high-frequency training. For a 2-year-old... if we really think about it, it's quite a challenge!

For most 2-year-olds, face-to-face communication often involves the here-and-now: the book they're reading, the toys they're playing with, the food they're eating, or the tasks they're performing. Context clues are everywhere. It's comforting and safe, and the routine linguistic structures offer scaffolds for toddlers to try out new things and learn new skills. When Kai talks on the phone, he often starts with a report of his here-and-now. For instance, he'd point at each of the characters on his backpack and tell you who they are. However, I've noticed he does that as if to check if the other person on the phone is in the same "conversational space" as he is (a more literal meaning to the expression "you see what I'm saying", if you will). Luckily, most replies he gets confirm that the other person does know what he's talking about, so he feels more secure to continue the conversation. He'll tell you what he's doing, what Mommy/Daddy's doing, or what one of his toys is doing.

Tonight, Kai took his "talking on the phone" to a whole new level. He flirted with QUESTIONS -- those unpredictable (=scary, hard to handle) questions through the phone. More importantly, he not only answered some of them, he asked some as well.

It was a phone call with my aunt and my youngest cousin Vivian. After he knew who I was talking to, Kai insisted on talking to his "i-puo" (great aunt). He grabbed the phone out of my hand and shouted into the phone, "Hi, i-puo." My aunt greeted him and asked what he was doing. Kai answered, "Kaikai play phone." My aunt then asked, "What did you have for supper, Kai?" (note: in our house, we say "eat dinner" or "have dinner" more often)

Kai paused. He looked at,... hmm... more like looked into, the phone as if seeking clarification. When that wasn't offered, our little linguist took a chance. "Pizza!" he said. "Oh, you had pizza for supper? Was it yummy?" My aunt's reply confirmed the little linguist's hypothesis. Kai continued with greater confidence and immediately started experimenting with the "new" words, "Yeah, Kaikai have pizza fur suppa. Yu-mmy! Pizza! Kaikai have pi... mmm.... Kaikai... have sup.... yummy pizza... fur suppa."(I LOVE watching how he strings words together and tries to work out the correct sentence structure. It's sheer joy... and pride, of course).

Then it happened (dramatic sound effect please)! Instead of waiting for my aunt to ask another question, Kai asked, "Where Pudding go, i-puo?" (Pudding is my aunt's dog) My aunt answered Pudding was with her there and asked if Kai wanted to see Pudding. I'm not sure if it was because he was thrilled that his question was answered or if he was happy about the answer, Kai answered with great enthusiasm, "Yeah!" So my aunt promised to bring Pudding along next time she comes to visit.

Now that he considered himself a somewhat "seasoned" phone conversationalist, when my cousin came to the phone, Kai shouted into the phone, "Hi, aunt Wi-on, what you doin'?" My cousin and I nearly peed ourselves. My cousin gave her answer and asked what Kai was doing. Kai said proudly, "Kaikai have a poo-poo... in the pants."

Well, that concluded the phone call.