I'm very stressed out about raising a girl here, in North America, because I didn't grow up here as a young girl. The young girls I've seen or come to know seem more complicated and have to deal with more shit in life from the get-go than how it was for me when I was their age in Taiwan. For instance, preschool-aged girls are already asking to get makeup, piercing, and jewelry. Why even let them try it? I mean, when little girls ask to put on makeup or jewelry for whatever reason, why not explain to them that cosmetic products are made to conceal imperfections and jewelry is used to enhance looks (in other words, when the look itself is not good enough). Little girls don't need makeup or jewelry for they are perfect as they are and they should be celebrated for just that! And piercings! As far as I'm concerned, they should only be allowed to get it done when they're able to care for the puncture wounds themselves. Bottom line is, it pains me to see that all the materialistic, superficial "stuff" that corporate companies introduce to women as necessity, or "must-have"s, robs young girls of their innocence and naïveté way too early and too fast. More importantly, the ideals of beauty, judged and promoted by society, enter young girls' psyche at ages that are too young to know better and have much greater negative and lasting effects in the long run.
While I'm ranting about promoting superficial beauty and demoting self-esteem, let's not forget evil companies like Mattel Inc. Doesn't that creep you out that a doll for little girls has breasts? Why not slap a penis on Ken while we're at it?
The way I see it... My daughter's out of luck in the beauty department because she has a mother whose makeup routine involves a 3-minute job of smearing foundation on her face and putting moisturizing lip balm with color on her lips. I like my hair short 'cause I rarely brush it (that's what fingers are for), I hate blow-drying, and I can't put my hair into anything without eventually throwing a fit. The only ring I wear is my wedding ring, and I only wear earrings for fun (which is like... once or twice a year). I keep my nails short, and I only put nail polish on my toes in the summer because my toes get really dirty and gross. I know I'm a slob in some women's eyes. I just can't be bothered. I'd much rather spend the energy and money on going out to eat or a trip somewhere.
And sorry, Barbie. You're not welcome here.
2 comments:
All I can say is.....good luck. It is an interesting road to navigate. My daughter used to ask me over and over why I didn't: wear more makeup, have long nails, wear high heels, wear more jewelry, etc. And she ended up being fascinated with "click clack" shoes, and "twirly dresses." I thought I was a failure as a feminist. But now, she is the most well rounded, secure 19 year old I know. I'm not sure how I did it other than being true to myself and allowing her to be true to herself. But the battles with her wanting to wear clothes just like Brittany Spears (the hot fad of the time) were brutal. Positively brutal.
Jane, I know...
Knowing the way karma works, I may very well end up with a little princess who "only" loves Pepto bismol pink dresses and Barbie. We'll cross that bridge when we come to it...
I'm glad to know that your daughter has outgrown the whole Brittany Spears thing?! Congrats! You survived.
By the way, loved your recent post on body image and the link you shared. It was such a beautiful story.
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