Preparing for The Second Child

I honestly don't remember how I felt when I was this pregnant the first time around. Thank goodness I have this blog so I was able to go back in time. One thing for sure, though, is that the second time around does not feel the same as the first. Not that we're not excited or anything... it's just that we are so set in our, .... no, let me rephrase that, in Kai's daily routine that we simply have not had time to grasp or reflect what is about to happen in a handful of days.

I'm currently doing all the nesting things: stocking the freezer, washing baby clothes, organizing Kai's book shelf so we can have a bit of room for the baby as well, going through Kai's toys to pick out the ones that he can pass on to his little sister, washing and Baby Bjorn and sterilizing breast pump parts, and packing the hospital bag for myself and the baby... that kind of stuff. But these things are not the center of my life. I do them in my "spare time", aka "when Kai's in school." Kai remains the center of our universe. Everything we do and every decision we make regarding the baby girl follow the same principle: minimal disturbance of Kai's daily routine.

The thing is, Kai's getting ready for the arrival of his baby sister as well.... in the best way a toddler knows how. Our sensitive little boy has already started showing signs of anxiety and uncertainty. He asks for hugs more often and is constantly checking to see if one or both of his parents are (still) around. He gets very upset now when Daddy has to go downstairs to work. He wants Bill to leave the door to the basement open so he feels as if he still has access to his Daddy when needed. When we read before bed, instead of sitting next to me on the recliner, he asks to sit on me and snuggle. He positions my arm(s) so it (or both) would wrap tightly around him. He gets more upset (maybe even scared and uncertain) when we get stern with him. And... after almost 6 months of being off, Kai started to show interest in my boobs again. I wonder if there's something chemical going on, or maybe he could smell that foremilk that my body is supposedly producing right now?!

I get really emotional when I think about being away from Kai for a couple of days next week. I've never been away from him since the day he was born! Though my mom and my aunt will be here to help, I'm sorry to say, at this point, I don't trust anyone else (except Bill) to know how to take care of my baby. I know I'm gonna be a hormonal/emotional mess after the baby's born before of my separation from Kai. I can just see it now. At the same time, I'm also wondering how and if that is going to have an effect on how I feel about the second child. Right now, it's hard for me to imagine loving someone else as much as I love Kai.

Is this where/how the second child syndrome start?!